But guys I am so so sad about my baby wearing this brace. It's hard to hold her comfortably- the straps dig, I'm having a hard time finding good positions. Nursing is even harder- my back is already destroyed from the position I nurse in and I have to lean even farther over her now.
It's hard as hell to change her diaper....and she has had a YI from basically the day she was born, so I really try to change it every hour during the day. She screams when I change her, which makes her poop, which prolongs the process.
The little straps rub her skin, so she needs to be in long pants/long sleeved shirts....and we live in Texas where it is beyond fucking hot.
And everything I read tells me how stinky this harness gets- she has already spit up all over it like 5x, we've had diaper blowouts the past few nights, and I don't know how to prevent them and it will get on the harness. I know it's minor, but the thought of having a stinky newborn when up till now she has smelled like breastmilk and baby soap makes me want to weep. I know it's silly, but that's one of the things I LOVE about newborns.
I'm just sad. I feel like the first few snuggly, cuddly months of a newborn have been stolen from me. Which fucking blows considering how fucking hard we worked to get here.
I'm so sorry can you try nursing her in a football hold? And just try to keep the harness as clean as possible and I'm bet she'll still smell amazing. Hang in there.
Post by bugandbibs on Jul 11, 2016 22:44:19 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I know several families who used PUL cloth diaper covers to contain blowouts- they just used a disposable inside instead of cloth. Look for one with double gussets on the legs for the best protection. ((((Hugs))))
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
I was in a harness for the same hip problem when I was a baby. It's been 35 years, so I'm not sure how helpful her advice would be, but I'd be happy to ask my mom in the morning what she did to maintain her sanity while I was rigged up.
Post by speckledfrog on Jul 11, 2016 22:47:43 GMT -5
It's not silly at all. I'm sorry this is happening. I know it won't be a big deal in the long run, but it's natural to feel like it's a big deal now. How long has she had her brace? I think you guys will get your rhythm soon. Have you posted on MMM? I'm pretty sure there are a few moms over there who have gone through this and will be a good resource for you. Hugs, friend.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I know several families who used PUL cloth diaper covers to contain blowouts- they just used a disposable inside instead of cloth. Look for one with double gussets on the legs for the best protection. ((((Hugs))))
I have some covers from my brief stint with cloth diapering and I would love to come snuggle your baby give them to you.
The PUL diaper covers are a great idea- I will do this. speckledfrog, that would be amazing. I know it's a hell of a drive for you, so we could def meet for lunch or something in between. Maddie is in school all day, and Isabelle does well in the car, so I can def drive.
She has been in it since 3 this afternoon. So no time at all. Luckily I think she is already passed out tonight so I'm hoping it won't affect her sleep too much.
Jez, I already nurse in football hold, I just have a hard time figuring out how to not bend over her. Esp now since the position her legs are in means she can scoot as close to the couch/chair that I am nursing in. I have an apt with a LC on Sat- prev scheduled- to address different positions and emailed her to let her know about the harness, so I'm hoping she will have some ideas. In the meantime I took one of the 800mg ibuprofen left over from delivery to help my back tonight.
Can you lie back and have her nurse on top? That's what they had me do with DD because of our respective post delivery health issues. I was at a 45 degree angle leaning back. She'd be in a modified football hold, but resting on me.
We didn't have snuggly, cuddly newborn months but we've had many other good months since. I hope you feel the same way down the line.
I'm sorry Elsa that really sucks. I have no specific suggestions and I didn't want to read and not post, but it sounds like others have it covered. *hugs*
It's OK to be sad. And it's OK to not be strong sometimes. We know it says absolutely NOTHING about how much you love your baby or how much you wanted her. Please don't let yourself feel guilty for having those feelings. Anyone who says they'd feel differently is lying.
I'm not familiar with the brace beyond a quick Google search, but is laid back nursing an option? My boys both basically laid on top of me in whatever position was comfortable for them when nursing in that position. It's the lazy person's nursing position...so much easier on my back and neck, too!
I've tried side lying nursing and I just can't seem to get it right. It's not comfortable and she struggles to get/maintain a good latch. That is what I'm hoping to get help with Saturday- I want the LC to literally watch me nurse in different positions and help me figure out how to make it work for me. Part of it I am so scared to mess with her latch-DD1's was terrible and it led to major issues and me eventually EPing. This time her latch is great, but I'm scared to start bad habits by introducing a nursing position where her latch isn't good. I am hoping the LC can help me get the best of both worlds- comfort for me, good latch for DD.
I have SO much breast tissue that I constantly feel like I am suffocating DD. I always have at least one hand pulling breast away from her nose so she can breathe. I think that is part of why I struggle-my boobs are just really really large.
Post by shananagins on Jul 11, 2016 23:09:48 GMT -5
Not silly at all. It's absolutely a valid thing to be sad about. I'm sure you will get more accustomed to it soon and find ways to nurse more comfortably. How long does she have to wear it? I have some cloth diaper covers you are welcome to. They are one size, so I don't know if they'd work on a newborn, but they might contain a blowout over a disposable.
It's OK to be sad. And it's OK to not be strong sometimes. We know it says absolutely NOTHING about how much you love your baby or how much you wanted her. Please don't let yourself feel guilty for having those feelings. Anyone who says they'd feel differently is lying.
I'm not familiar with the brace beyond a quick Google search, but is laid back nursing an option? My boys both basically laid on top of me in whatever position was comfortable for them when nursing in that position. It's the lazy person's nursing position...so much easier on my back and neck, too!
I don't understand laid back nursing. Doesn't it require her to hold her head up? She doesn't have the neck muscles to do this yet. Bt if she doesn't hold her head up she cannot breathe- her nose is smooshed into my breast :/
It's OK to be sad. And it's OK to not be strong sometimes. We know it says absolutely NOTHING about how much you love your baby or how much you wanted her. Please don't let yourself feel guilty for having those feelings. Anyone who says they'd feel differently is lying.
I'm not familiar with the brace beyond a quick Google search, but is laid back nursing an option? My boys both basically laid on top of me in whatever position was comfortable for them when nursing in that position. It's the lazy person's nursing position...so much easier on my back and neck, too!
I don't understand laid back nursing. Doesn't it require her to hold her head up? She doesn't have the neck muscles to do this yet. Bt if she doesn't hold her head up she cannot breathe- her nose is smooshed into my breast :/
The way we did it, I was at a 45 degree angle, and she was too. So her little head and body were supported by gravity but her eyes and nose were up above, in the air. The LC recommended it in part to ease our pain but also to improve her latch.
I don't understand laid back nursing. Doesn't it require her to hold her head up? She doesn't have the neck muscles to do this yet. Bt if she doesn't hold her head up she cannot breathe- her nose is smooshed into my breast :/
The way we did it, I was at a 45 degree angle, and she was too. So her little head and body were supported by gravity but her eyes and nose were up above, in the air. The LC recommended it in part to ease our pain but also to improve her latch.
Ok I will try to practice this tmw. Based on google images I think this would be a good position for her hips. Thank you
Hugs I'm so sorry! I don't "go" here but I wanted to mention something-- our pedi recommended a "miracle" diaper cream to us and it really really is! Mix equal party Vaseline, Desitin and miconazole (buy 7 day Monistat so it comes it a tube) and layer it on thick. It works extremely well!
The way we did it, I was at a 45 degree angle, and she was too. So her little head and body were supported by gravity but her eyes and nose were up above, in the air. The LC recommended it in part to ease our pain but also to improve her latch.
This is how we did it, too. If he rotated his head a bit and I felt his nose was smoosed, I would lightly apply pressure with one finger to push my breast down to allow a little air through (even though everyone said I wasn't necessary).
if you do a google image search for "laid back nursing newborn" you will see lots of different ways that people do it. There are even a few videos that may help you.
ETA: I see I'm late! I hope it works for you tomorrow!
The PUL diaper covers are a great idea- I will do this. speckledfrog, that would be amazing. I know it's a hell of a drive for you, so we could def meet for lunch or something in between. Maddie is in school all day, and Isabelle does well in the car, so I can def drive.
She has been in it since 3 this afternoon. So no time at all. Luckily I think she is already passed out tonight so I'm hoping it won't affect her sleep too much.
Jez, I already nurse in football hold, I just have a hard time figuring out how to not bend over her. Esp now since the position her legs are in means she can scoot as close to the couch/chair that I am nursing in. I have an apt with a LC on Sat- prev scheduled- to address different positions and emailed her to let her know about the harness, so I'm hoping she will have some ideas. In the meantime I took one of the 800mg ibuprofen left over from delivery to help my back tonight.
Can you do something like this? With a boppy or pillow under her to prop her up?
This is how I had to nurse DS (and you know how big my boobs are). I started out with football but felt like I was suffocating him, so I had to do this.
And it's OK to feel how you feel. When you have an idea in your head and reality doesn't match up it totally sucks. Especially when those ideas and visions involve snuggly newborns and postpartum hormones.
Stupid suggestion, but can she wear a bib all the time? That may help with the spit ups.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Jul 12, 2016 1:14:25 GMT -5
I'm so, so sorry. I'm sure both of you will adjust, but it's completely normal to feel that way now.
Side lying nursing was what saved my sanity with DD2. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but once I did it was awesome. I'm not sure how old she is, but I think itty bitty newborns just aren't big enough yet. But by a month or so we were able to do it.
Elsa My oldest was in a pavlik harness for about 15 weeks. I cried the first few days because I hated it. The days will go by way faster than you think.
I always put a onesie on under the harness and for her legs I bought size 3t-4+ socks. They went all the way up her legs. If she needed additional clothes I would just put it on over. You've probably have thought of some of these things but I'm trying to remember tips that helped us.
Make sure the person doing her straps mark it on the harness so you know the right angle for her legs. It helped me to get it readjusted after changing her clothing and stuff. Diaper changes just freaking sucked, I'm sorry.
I don't think I'm helpful with the feeding part because she used a bottle. I would lay her across a pillow to feed her or put a pillow behind her and kind of tilt her my way.
Post by melodramatic26 on Jul 12, 2016 6:21:15 GMT -5
Everything you are feeling is completely normal. I had the same thoughts and reactions. Making things even worse was when DH or family members would say "but it could be so much worse. You won't even remember this". I remover it plain as day and emotionally and physically it is so challenging.
Big hugs. Do whatever you can to make this time bearable. I'm sorry
Post by stategirl08 on Jul 12, 2016 6:29:15 GMT -5
I have a friend who's son was in that harness and she also has large boobs. She said the nursing position that worked for them was her basically standing him up in her lap while she sat on the couch. So kind of like the laid back but just sitting up. No idea if that will help you, but wanted to suggest it.