How to help during chemo?

[amberlyrose]

DH's aunt just started chemo today Her sons are both out of state and we told them we could help out as much as possible. She has 2 sisters here, but his cousins would rather DH check in on her every few days. 
I've never had to help out during treatment and I'm not sure what to do. Will she need more help the day of treatment or do side effects kick in a few days later? Are there meals I can make that could be easy on her digestion (or is that even a thing)? I'm sure it affects every patient differently, but I like to have as much of a plan as possible. 

I'm also worried about DH taking this on and would like to be there to do the bulk of it. He lost his mom to cancer and seeing sick people really upsets him. His grandma just past away too, so it's been rough for that side of his family already.

My work schedule is pretty flexible, I just need to let my boss know. I don't know what to tell him, though. 

[memenee]

So very sorry about DHs aunt.

She will most likely not be able to cook, but eating and keeping her strength up post-chemo is important so I would say dropping off groceries for quick eats (yogurts, bread, etc) and then maybe some simple meals.

Does she have a ride to/from her appts?

[RoxMonster]

I'm sorry to hear about your DH's aunt.

When my FIL was going through chemo, MIL was very grateful for people who were able to drive him to/from his appointments, as she had already taken so much time off work. I'm not sure if you wanted to do something like that, but if possible, or you could even help coordinate different family members/friends who are able to drive her, that might be something to look into.

[Deleted]

My dad went through chemo a few years ago but my parents are still together, so he wasn't alone. With that said, he couldn't really leave the house much, so he enjoyed when we visited to both a) take my mom out since she seemed to stay in with him most of the time - so it was nice to see her go out for a while and b) just hang out. Again, he was stuck in the house a lot so just having a change of scenery (us being the scenery) was a welcome break for him.

I should add, both of my parents are retired so getting to appointments/time off work wasn't an issue for them.

[amberlyrose]

Jul 13, 2016 17:34:52 GMT -5 memenee said:

So very sorry about DHs aunt.

She will most likely not be able to cook, but eating and keeping her strength up post-chemo is important so I would say dropping off groceries for quick eats (yogurts, bread, etc) and then maybe some simple meals.

Does she have a ride to/from her appts?

I think her sister took her today. Eldest son is coming home to take her to appt #2. 

[Deleted]

My dad didn't eat much food - he just couldn't stomach it. We always made sure he had something like Pedialyte in the house.

[sunnysally]

When my mom had chemo, it was hard for her to keep up on cleaning (she lived alone). Her friends set up a rotating schedule to clean the apartment and visit with her. She also didn't have much of an appetite, so we made sure to keep the fridge stocked with Ensure and Pedialyte.

[acr]

As treatments progressed, my mom needed more frequent check ins. Just someone to be there to make sure she was drinking enough water, could get up, etc. She needed me to make bland food, help with laundry, tidying, making sure she had her needs easily accessible (water, lotion, blanket, etc).

[boxertdog]

My dad couldn't eat much - the chemo burned his mouth. Honestly he liked that I called to check on him every day (I lived out of state). When I was down there, I just hung out w him on the couch and handled his life things like doing his taxes and fixing up his garden, watering plants, etc. before I went the kids made him one of those fleece blankets where you tie the edges - he took it to his appointments and loved it bc he was cold all the time. His wife's kids helped drive him and did that kind of stuff and as his daughter I appreciated that since I couldn't be there to do it myself.

[boxertdog]

Another thought on the food- during the last month I was down there, people did bring food which was great for my stepmom and me. It made it so we could spend all our time with my dad and caring for him and sitting with him, rather than shopping and cooking etc. so it was helpful from that angle.

[thebreakfastclub]

Maybe set her up with a cleaning service, grocery delivery, lawn cutting if needed?

Netflix or roku if she doesn't have it?

[latebloomerconfessor]

Firstly, sorry about your DH's aunt.

Depending on the type of chemo she is having and stage she is in will depend on the type of diet she will be able to tolerate. She will probably meet with a dietician or her oncologist will provide more information. Most importantly in diets during aggressive chemo sessions is to avoid foods that cannot be cooked. Sounds counterintuitive, but avoid fresh fruits and vegetables that cannot be heated/pealed as they can harbor bugs/diseases that can negatively effect an immunocompromised patient. If she is requiring high protein and she does not have much of an appetite, then you can try Prostat for her.

Like others mentioned, bringing her to and from chemo appointments, and being with her after appointments is very helpful during this time as patients are usually neutropenic and energy depleted.

It would also be helpful to create a calendar to help track her chemo appointments, daily medications, and daily temperatures. Even though her healthcare providers should be very good at keeping track of this, we find patient and family involvement prevent major errors.

Positive thoughts and prayers your way.

[jennistarr1]

I can't say enough that time and encouragement are most important.

Make sure soneone is available to go to chemo with her. Ask what she might like to eat . My mom liked smoothies so frozen fruit was awesome. I also bought her some naked smoothies and such

During visits, ask if you can do any cleaning, organizing or such. I found myself cleaning my parents fridge out a lot

In between visits.... cards. Find funny movie quotes or cute things you see on Facebook

If she loses her hair, shopping for new makeup scarves and hats

Finally one of my favorite charities giving care packages to women is fighting pretty.org

[sonrisa]

side effects kick in a few days later and will get much worse over the course of her treatment. Something that might not bother her the first month might be awful the second or third month.

[Deleted]

Sorry to hear about DH's aunt.  It's nice of you to help out.  Driving to/from chemo/appointments is a large help.  Grocery shopping, meal planning, picking up prescriptions and cleaning are all helpful things.  Many people feel like crap several days after treatment.

The symptoms she may have vary by treatment.  Common symptoms are nausea, vomiting and mouth sores.  In general, patients are encouraged to eat whatever they can tolerate as not to lose weight (unless they are advised to have a low microbial/neutropenic diet---nothing that can't be scrubbed, no raw foods etc).  Bland is good.  Things like crackers, cheese, yogurt, some people like hard candies including ginger.  

[amberlyrose]

Thank you guys.

We went over today and she's in good spirits. Very positive but ready to fight it.

PDQ

She has some form of endometriosis cancer, where her lining grew instead of receded at menopause. There are some rumors imbedded in it. Her lymph nodes are too big right now to do a hysterectomy, so they are hoping the chemo will help. She has 3 treatments, 6 hrs each. Oldest son will be here for #2 and youngest will be here for #3. Their best friend just moved into the house to help get some repairs done and watch her. I'm going to stop by 1-2x a week to check on her, help clean, etc. She's been trying to eat clean (even before this), so I'll try to find some high protein small meals she can have.

[litebright]

I would try to take her lead on meals. She may have aversions or nausea or may not, they may come and go, etc. With Shannon, she started out wanting super-healthy, veggie-focused meals (she requested stuff from The Cancer-Fighting Kitchen) and very quickly shifted to wanting comfort foods and even dessert.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

I am really sorry about your DH's aunt. When I went through chemo I had a pump that I took home after a full day in the chair, so it was a 3 day treatment. For my part, the worst was the day of the chair treatment, with nausea and not wanting to eat. After that, it got better. I had 12 cycles and around cycle 4 my constipation got unbearable. A squatty potty and half a dose of miralax in a small gatorade made all the difference then. (I know this isn't what you asked but this was huge for me and if she starts having problems, think about it). Food wise I ate whatever I could eat. I would go through periods with no appetite and then have periods where all I wanted was string cheese and crackers. Some freezer meals or gift cards to local take out might be helpful so she doesn't have to cook. Best advice I have really is just listen to her. I wanted to be alone all the time. Some people always like to have others with them while it is going on. Don't take offense if she doesn't want you guys around, it isn't you.

Also depending on what chemo she has, food might just taste awful (which causes eating issues completely unrelated to nausea). Mine gave me this horrible coating on my tongue and taste in my mouth and no amount of tongue scraping and mouthwash made it go completely away. So that is why they say eat what you want and when you want. A lot of food had no taste or tasted differently for awhile, even after chemo was done. So try not to push.