Dating

[glynn]

Why is dating so hard?? After you have been burned/divorced is seems people get scared once feeling become involved. I have, I know. My guy is right now. We both said we do not what a serious relationship. After months of flirting, talking, and such he is backing away. Just last week he made the comment to not leave him a couple of times. He says we have great chemistry, nothing like he has had before and I feel the same. UGH!!

[Deleted]

I think people get scared when they haven't worked on themselves or taken the time needed before dating again. And it's not fair to those of us who have done the work. I'm at a point where it's pretty easy to recognize. It sounds like your guy needs to take some time and work on himself.

[Deleted]

I don't understand the mixed messages, we're adults, not teens. Let's not play games.

Sounds like it's time to pass if he says "don't leave me" one week and the next he's backing away.

Next. 

[Deleted]

Eh. I can be like your boyfriend. Since my divorce I've never told anyone I loved them. My last boyfriend said I was very closed fist with my feels.
And then we broke up and realized I still needed to work on myself. Right now I listen to "Your Kickass Life" podcast and it helps.

[doglove]

I think this is not a healthy dude. If he is this scared or giving mixed messages - move on. You deserve someone to put in the effort and that knows what they want.

ETA - I wanted to also add that while yes, I often find myself nervous or afraid sometimes during dating, there's uncertainty with everything in life. Jobs, family, relationships, cars, etc. We can't live our lives in fear of being hurt again. It's inevitable that someone will hurt or disappoint you because we are all flawed humans. How we deal will it though is what makes us strong and able to keep going through life. 

[glynn]

I guess we ended it last night. He said he did not want a serious relationship with all the feeling. So I told him I wanted to date and was willing to risk having feeling because without them you have nothing... So moving on I guess. This should be easier at this point with no games.

[doglove]

I'm sorry glynn. I know you had hopes for this one. Dating is hard.

[momof2ms]

I'm sorry. It sounds like you have moved on and are really ready for a relationship and he's still just not. He was honest and upfront from the start that's all he wanted. GL and I hope you will find your relationship soon!!

[stephreloaded]

I'm sorry glynn, he does need to work on himself before being able to date again. It was good that he realized early on though.