I understand why your feelings were hurt. It would have been better if she had said "hey boys I'm sorry but I came here with my girls and I'm going to sit with them in our original seats." but rarely do humans (especially 22 year old single ones) exhibit such maturity.
I do think she is in the wrong BUT I also think you should suck it up and patch it up. I think you will regret it if you don't and the fact that your SO likes her and values her friendship makes me think it is worth fixing.
Sometimes you just need to let things go, and toss the expectation of an apology.
I was just about to say this. Apologies are the "right" thing to do, but you'll never hear one out of some people. You can either choose to end relationships over that fact, or just accept that sometimes that's the way it is and move forward.
Of course, if in general your friend acts like this and you've decided she's more trouble than she's worth - then it's a whole other story and I'd probably end the friendship now instead of having crap like this crop up all the time.
I would have been really hurt if I was in your situation, too.
I can't imagine not trying, but I also would rather not set myself up for disappointment in the future.
at this point, she fails to acknowledge that anything was handled poorly, and she just keeps going on about how another excluded friend and I were being dramatic (this is fair, but it is clearly not the only issue at hand).
I am just unsure if I want a friendship with someone who cannot say "hey, I fucked up. I'm sorry" when she actually fucks up. What's the point?
FWIW, I apologized this morning for how I handled things (the comment about not wanting to invest in our friendship). she half-way apologized for how I "interpreted" things--but she hasn't actually acknowledged any wrong doing on her end.
We seem to be at a standstill.
If you are at a standstill, then it's on you to decide whether or not this is a friendship that is worth saving.
If you want to continue the friendship, you have to reach out to her.
Sometimes you just need to let things go, and toss the expectation of an apology.
But do you want to be friends with someone who you always have to toss the expectation of an apology away when they fuck up? It sounds like this isn't her first time of being a douchecanoe.
Tacom - is she usually pretty open to accepting responsibility for fuckups and apologizing or is this pretty much how it always goes when there's an issue?
I've never had any issues with her before, so I cannot speak from personal experience.
however, when similar problems arose between L and our other friends, I don't think she handled them well. and when this all happened last night, the other excluded people did not seem surprised in the least. they said they kind of expected this behavior.
It sounds like the advice here is mixed, and that's basically how I've been feeling too.
I just reached out and sent her a follow up text telling her I had thought more about our conversation, that I was sorry I had taken everything to the next level, and that I want to move past it.
I guess there is little harm in trying, and I would probably regret not giving it a shot.
Thank you all for the advice. Sorry for being a beebee.
I don't think your being a beebee. I would have been really pissed if my friend did that to me. If I didn't get a real apology I would just let the friendship die on it's own. My college friends did a complete turnover after college all ended. We all went out separate ways and grew up. I have a few as FB friends but don't consider any one of them my "best" friend. It tends not to matter so much when everything else that goes on in life. This includes making new more mature friends.