WWMLD- friend situation

[Bernadine]

I really miss xh's friends. They were over the house all the time, I loved them, they were really like family to me.

I mentioned in the randoms thread that his bff sent me a fb message asking to hang out, and that his wife sent me a really hurtful text earlier this year. I was close to her and the text was really upsetting.

So, I replied to the bff that it was good hearing from him, I missed them, but that after the text the wife sent me, it didn't seem that she was interested in seeing me again. He replied and said that she misses me, they were just surprised at first, but that I did what I had to do and nothing has changed, so I made the right decision. He told me to stop by their house sometime.

I want to. I miss these people. But I'm still really hurt by the text. And why hasn't she contacted me, if she misses me so much?

[Deleted]

The apology needs to come from her. If you really want the friendship back, maybe express that you need to talk to her?

[melindafelinda]

I agree. That was an incredibly hurtful and inappropriate text she sent you. Even if she is embarrassed and wants to take it back, she needs to apologize and be a better friend.

[Tacocat]

Yep, you have a right to be hurt and she should talk to you directly. Maybe mention to him that you want a conversation that comes from her first?

[sprky79]

If you really miss these people, and you are up to trying to restore this friendship in some fashion, suggest a neutral third party location: lunch, coffee, etc. With BOTH of them. If you want to be friends with these folks, you are going to have to clear the air anyway, so it would be a good time for you to look at wifey and say, "Um, why were you such a snatch" in much nicer words than I would use, and see what she says. If you get a genuine apology, then great. Otherwise, keep on steppin and move on from them.

[nahoku]

I would be hurt, too, and I'd be hesitant to try and re-connect until I got an apology directly from her. Even if she's waiting to do it face-to-face (hence the "stop by some time!") she should tell you that that is her intention (if it is). What a sucky situation.

[ECB]

In her "defense", I know I've said some stupid things in life and am HIGHLY embarassed by it. Having to stand up and admit it and apologize can be really really hard.

BUT, that being said.... that's only "defending" her as to why you haven't seen her pro-actively contacting you and apologizing. That doesn't mean you can't say to either her DH or to her directly "I'd love to see you, but I'm still really hurt by the text and I need some closure on this issue before I can move forward" - and put the ball in her court to apologize.

[jerseygrl]

I missed a lot of my friends after they took my ex's side after our break up. It sucked and it hurt.

It's a little bothersome that his wife has not reached out to you and she should if she wants to rekindle a friendship.

[speckledfrog]

Is being friends with his friends going to make more drama than it's worth?

[LLL]

I'd still be peeved at the wife. She never should have sent you that shitty text. Obviously you know the ins and outs of your marriage better than she does. Hearing from her husband almost a year later that she was just "surprised" but that you made "the right decision" doesn't change much. You need an apology