Twin moms- a school question

[fryjack2]

I'll cross post on multiple boards because the MOM board is slow. TL/DR at the bottom

Our twins (4 year old fraternal, but look identical boys who are best best best friends) are starting Pre-K in a new school in a few weeks. They will be separated per school policy. We could put up a stink about it, but after much thought and research, we think it might actually be good for them to be apart. Its only 4 hours a day until 1st grade and they will share recess on a Pre-K only playground.

Jack can be quieter and more introverted. He takes awhile to warm up to new people and situations-unless he feels like being social. For example, they were in speech therapy and he refused to speak in his sessions for so long that his therapist recommended more sessions per week. I asked that he be in an additional session with his brother and he spoke during those sessions. He can be stubborn He is more sensitive and has stronger feelings if that makes sense. If you ask him, he will tell you that he "doesn't have friends, just Henry." even though he plays with other kids.

Henry is friendly, outgoing, nonstop movement and talking. He warms up easily. He was the popular kid ( however that's defined as a 2-4 year old) in his preschool class the last 2 years per his teachers.

They know 2 kids that were also accepted to their new school. One they see multiple times a month and the other they see randomly but they would recognize and play with on playgrounds. Of course Henry ended up with both of them in his class and Jack will know no one. We had a class playground date way back in May but I honestly wouldn't be able to point out any of the families if I saw them on the street at this point.

I'm nervous that Jack will shut down and not want to go to school and think he did something wrong since Henry will have both of their friends in class. Even this morning, when I was talking to the boys about their new school without mentioning specific classmates but did talk about being separated, I could see Jack start to shut down.

Any advice on how to help with start of school separation? I'm sure it will be fine a month or two in, but I keep getting emotional thinking about Jack being alone in class and the feelings he may have because of the make up of Henry's class and being separated.

TL/DR: twins who are best friends will be separated for the first time in school. The outgoing more social twin ( Henry) has 2 friends in his class, the other more introverted sensitive twin knows no one in his class. I'm worried about how Jack (introvert) will handle the separation especially when he sees that Henry has their two friends in his class. Advice to make it easier on him?

[sacattack]

I'm not a twin mom, but is there anyway the school would consider switching the placement of the boys? It seems like Jack would do so much better if he had a friend or two. I know schools don't like requests for certain teachers, but this is slightly different.

[origami]

He might surprise you, after an adjustment period. Hard to say until it happens. But if not I'd just demand the kids be put together in the same class. For me, I made our schools keep my kids together and said if there was a problem then I would agree to separate. Just know that you can (or should be able to) adjust after you see how they each do.

[speckledfrog]

I think it's fine to ask the office if they will switch the boys, letting them know that having playmates in Jack's class will help him feel more comfortable and have more success in school and that Henry doesn't need that. As a former preschool assistant director, I wouldn't have an issue switching them before they started school.

[fryjack2]

Oct 25, 2016 12:35:16 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

I think it's fine to ask the office if they will switch the boys, letting them know that having playmates in Jack's class will help him feel more comfortable and have more success in school and that Henry doesn't need that. As a former preschool assistant director, I wouldn't have an issue switching them before they started school.

Hey speckledfrog boys started school a couple months ago . I was surprised at how easily they transitioned and accepted that they are in different classroom. Jack has been talking more about how next year, he and Henry will be in the same class, but so far it's been super smooth