At 55 your mother should be enjoying life, not winding down. Is she here with you? Is she active in her community? I would think that she needs to have a reason to get up each day - maybe she can join a club or volunteer someplace?
Hugs,sequins. This has to be hard to deal with. If you're sure she is not depressed, what about her general health? Is there maybe something there that could just make her ready to quit? Does she have a good support system back home also?
It sounds like you are really trying. I hope she finds a solution and some renewed will.
Have you discussed this with her directly? As in, "Mom, this is the time I was looking forward to spending more time with you, now that I'm a full-fledged adult, and I don't know where this talk is coming from." If so, what was her reaction? Also, where is your dad? Is he around, does he feel the same way?
Has it almost become a habit for her to say, since her sisters are this way? I can say my DH's family is very negative, and it rubs off on everyone around them when they're together.
Can you plan some things for her to look forward to?
I can say she should be enjoying her life at 55. My parents both just turned 73 and are in the prime of their retirement. Still healthy enough to travel, are living in a kick ass location, and are pretty much spending down our inheritance, LOL. At 55 my dad was still working and my mom volunteered nearly every day.
Post by mrsukyankee on Aug 18, 2016 16:30:58 GMT -5
I'm 47 and going through perimenopause and it can be rough on the body and soul. You start to feel invisible and un-needed (I don't but many of my friends who are in their mid-50s do). I agree with drloretta, that it makes sense to chat with her about it. My neighbours are in their 80s and very, very active in life with nary a thought about dying (they recognise it could come but not waiting for it).
This could be your mom's way of accepting that she's getting older. I know the past few years have been exhausting for me in a way that I never would have understood at 30, or even 40. in my case, I have two small kids who rely on me, and the example of my mom still going strong at 75. Those keep me motivated and looking forward to the future. But if I didn't have them, and the women around me were generally negative, I might feel the same as your mom.
IDK, here in the U.S. we are so insistent on keeping busy and on feeling fulfilled. But winding down isn't necessarily a bad thing, if that's a need your mom is truly feeling. If she's not depressed, and her outlook isn't being affected by a long-term health problem, maybe just enjoy relaxing and peaceful times with her? I personally wouldn't try to tell my own parents how they should feel.