Talking to kids about race (links/articles)

[water*drop]

I've been reading a lot about talking to kids about race lately, so I thought I'd share a few of the links that I've been using in case others are looking for advice on how to have the conversations, too. Feel free to add to the list or critique my links.

60+ Resources for Talking to Kids about Racism (age-appropriate books, movies, music, toys, conversation-starters, etc)
Resources for Talking to Kids about Race and Racism (more books, plus general tips)
Research-Based Advice on Teaching Children Not to Be Racist (tips, plus links to peer-reviewed research)
Colorblind Ideology Is a Form of Racism (article explaining why "colorblind" is the wrong approach)
Why we should talk to children about race (lots of links to peer-reviewed research)

Although this doesn't directly deal with how to talk to your own kids, Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates has weighed heavy on my mind both as I work on myself and as I try to raise my kids to be better than me.

[pooh8402]

Thank you for this! I've bookmarked the thread for reference!

[water*drop]

Aug 31, 2016 10:25:33 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

The more and more I'm here, the more and more I'm realizing that parents need to really work on themselves as or before they navigate this with their children. Without the adults taking a critical look at these issues, and how they benefit from institutional racism, it only leads to the "I'm not a racist" racist feedback loop.

My suggestions for adults include:

The Sisters are Alright
www.goodreads.com/review/show?id=1247734976

Killing Rage, by bell hooks

Bad Feminist, by Roxane Gay
(as you may want to better understand the white supremacist history of Classical Feminism before proudly waving the Feminist flag)


The Souls of BlackFolk, by W.E.B. DuBoise

Negroland, by Margo Jefferson

And the Yale Open Course African American History series link on CEP

Don't say you want to do better. You've got to do the work, people!
These aren't "ethnic books"; these are every body who chooses to be an intellectual, and not do stupid shit books.

Thanks for this. I read The Sisters are Alright on your recommendation around Christmas, and it was very eye-opening for me. I've also been listening to the Yale course on my commute this week (for anybody else who wants to do this, you can download the mp3s at the link...watching the video would be better because he sometimes references figures and stuff that you obviously can't see if you're only listening to the audio, but I've just been going back to the parts in the videos where he talks about that stuff after I get home to see what I missed). I'll add the other books to my library list.

[brandienee]

I love this tread so much. Thanks for the reading list.

I am currently reading The Fire This Time by Jesmin Ward. It's incredible.

[magpie]

Thank you! This is just what I need. My DD has recently been asking questions about race and I'm not sure how to respond.

[bex]

I feel like I always recommend these books, but these are two that really sort of opened my mind in terms of race and civil rights. I read them at very different times in my life and they really had a strong impact on me.

Walking with the Wind by John Lewis - this is specifically about the Civil Rights movement; it explains so much behind the training and preparation for the protests, and the sit-ins, and just the whole 50s/60s/70s. It's a memoir about history, but it really made me think about how far we HAVENT come.
www.amazon.com/Walking-Wind-Movement-Michael-DOrso/dp/1476797714/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472657630&sr=8-1&keywords=walking+with+the+wind+john+lewis


The Other Wes Moore (by Wes Moore) - book by Wes Moore (duh) about another black boy from Baltimore with the same name. Wes Moore spoke at the DNC in Denver a few years ago; the other Wes Moore is in prison. some elements of it are a little bootstrap-y, but I think it also shows an interesting perspective on the cycle of poverty and crime urban areas today.

www.amazon.com/Other-Wes-Moore-Name-Fates/dp/0385528205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472657771&sr=8-1&keywords=the+other+wes+moore+one+name+two+fates

[bluelikejazz]

Thank you for the recommendations. I will start reading so I can do and be better.

[bex]

also, for those anywhere close or planning a trip to Maryland, Baltimore has the Great Blacks in Wax museum which is a fascinating visit.

And for any in the DE/Maryland/DC area, the Harriet Tubman museum is in Cambridge, along with a self-guided driving tour. I think we're going to visit this next summer, when I think DS1 will get more out of it and DS2 may understand some of it.

visitdorchester.org/harriet-tubman-museum-educational-center/

[rugbywife]

I am just going to copy my whole Race-Related resources document here, I use it for work...there is a section on parenting:

Online Resources Related to Race

Canada Specific:

Canada’s Race Problem? It’s Even Worse than America’s
www.macleans.ca/news/canada/out-of-sight-out-of-mind-2/

Why We Must Talk About White Privilege
torontoist.com/2014/10/why-we-must-talk-about-white-privilege/

Racism is Canada’s Problem Too
www.huffingtonpost.ca/craig-and-marc-kielburger/canada-racism_b_5845284.html

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being Rex Murphy
behindthehedge.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/the-unbearable-whiteness-of-being-rex-murphy/

What Does Rex Murphy Know About Aboriginals? Nothing.
www.huffingtonpost.ca/jesse-staniforth/rex-murphy-aboriginals_b_4135330.html

Colonialism Exists in Canada, Rex Murphy. You’re Part of it.
www.vancouverobserver.com/politics/commentary/colonialism-exists-canada-rex-murphy-youre-part-it

Teaching/Parenting Specific:

Teaching Tolerance: How White Parents Should Talk to their Kids about Race
www.slate.com/articles/double_x/the_kids/2014/03/teaching_tolerance_how_white_parents_should_talk_to_their_kids_about_race.html

Discussing Skin Tone with my Toddler
strivingparent.com/2015/08/26/discussing-skin-tone-with-my-toddler/

Talking to Our Children About Racism and Diversity
www.civilrights.org/publications/reports/talking_to_our_children/?referrer=https://www.google.com/?referrer=http://strivingparent.com/2015/07/29/my-toddler-called-me-a-racist/

How Silence Can Breed Prejudice
www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/07/06/how-silence-can-breed-prejudice-a-child-development-professor-explains-how-and-why-to-talk-to-kids-about-race/?tid=sm_Fb

The N-Word and My Daughter
www.raceconscious.org/2015/12/1020/

What White Children Need to Know about Race
www.nais.org/Magazines-Newsletters/ISMagazine/Pages/What-White-Children-Need-to-Know-About-Race.aspx


To the White Parents of my Black Son’s Friends.
www.amusingmaralee.com/2015/12/to-the-white-parents-of-my-black-sons-friends/

You Can’t Ignore Racism and Raise Anti-Racist Children. You Have to Tackle it Head-On
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/12/raise-anti-racist-children-tackle-racism

Raising Racially Conscious Kids
everydayfeminism.com/2014/08/raising-racially-conscious-kids/

10 Ways Well Meaning White Teachers Bring Racism Into Our Schools
www.edudemic.com/6-videos-use-social-justice-lessons/
everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/10-ways-well-meaning-white-teachers-bring-racism-into-our-schools/

Children Are Not Colour Bling: How Young Children Learn About Race
www.academia.edu/3094721/Children_Are_Not_Colorblind_How_Young_Children_Learn_Race

What White Children Need to Know about Race
www.nais.org/Magazines-Newsletters/ISMagazine/Pages/What-White-Children-Need-to-Know-About-Race.aspx

It's My Job to Raise Children Who Are Not Only Not Racist But Actively Anti-Racist
www.huffingtonpost.com/mandy-hitchcock/its-my-job-to-raise-child_b_7707896.html?fb_action_ids=10203161222591180&fb_action_types=og.comments&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B859044227507127%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.comments%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

Talking about Race/White Privilege/Micro-Aggressions:

How I Talk to White People About Racism
medium.com/life-tips/how-i-talk-to-white-people-about-racism-805d272b32f5#.62tiq718h

Real Talk on Race: Why I Had to Stop Saying “Some White People”
rollingout.com/2015/10/31/real-talk-race-stop-saying-white-people/

Diversity is for white people: The big lie behind a well-intended word
www.salon.com/2015/10/26/diversity_is_for_white_people_the_big_lie_behind_a_well_intended_word/

25 Ways to Tokenize or Alienate a Non-White Person
www.coloursofresistance.org/746/25-ways-to-tokenize-or-alienate-a-non-white-person-around-you-or-25-examples-of-the-racism-we-witness-on-a-regular-basis/

Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism
www.huffingtonpost.com/good-men-project/why-its-so-hard-to-talk-to-white-people-about-racism_b_7183710.html

Dear White America
opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/12/24/dear-white-america/?_r=2


White People Need to Acknowledge The Benefits of Unearned Privilege
www.dickshovel.com/priv.html

I, Racist
www.huffingtonpost.com/john-metta/i-racist_b_7770652.html

White Privilege Needs to Own Up to Its Existence
www.huffingtonpost.ca/lauren-messervey/why-nancy-lee-grahns-comm_b_8172964.html

29 Stupid Things White People Do and What We Can Do About It Instead.
bmoreantiracist.org/white-people/29-stupid-things-white-people-do-and-what-we-can-do-instead/

I Recorded the Racist Things People Said and Did to Me for 2 Weeks
www.romper.com/p/i-recorded-the-racist-things-people-said-did-to-me-for-2-weeks-1690

11 Things White People Need to Realize About Race www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/11-things-white-people-need-to-realize-about-race_us_55b0009be4b07af29d576702

White People: I Hate Talking About Race as Much as You do
www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/white-people-i-hate-talking-about-race-as-much-as-you-do_us_55afd89ee4b0a9b9485354d8

Ask a White Person
askawhiteperson.com

The Case for Reparations
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/06/the-case-for-reparations/361631/

10 Ways White People are More Racist Than They Realize
www.salon.com/2015/03/04/10_ways_white_people_are_more_racist_than_they_realize_partner/

Recognizing Micro-Aggressions
diversity.missouri.edu/summit/session-mats/can_we_talk-microaggressions_in_everyday_life-handout.pdf

Ted Talks About Race:

www.ted.com/playlists/250/talks_to_help_you_understand_r

Intersectional Feminism:

To White Feminists Who Don’t Want to Discuss Racism: Here Are 7 Things You Need to Know
everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/white-feminists-dont-talk-race/

Colour-Blindness


Colourblindness Adds to Racism
everydayfeminism.com/2015/02/colorblindness-adds-to-racism/

Colourblind Ideology is a Form of Racism
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culturally-speaking/201112/colorblind-ideology-is-form-racism

Colourblindness is Counterproductive
www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/color-blindness-is-counterproductive/405037/

Taking Off My Racial
www.raceconscious.org/2016/02/1134/

Videos

If Anyone Ever Questioned How White Privilege Manifested Itself in America This Is The Perfect Illustration
atlantablackstar.com/2015/02/02/if-anyone-ever-questioned-how-white-privilege-manifested-itself-in-america-this-is-the-perfect-illustration/

What Is Privilege?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD5f8GuNuGQ

White Privilege, Racism, White Denial & The Cost of Inequality
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AMY2Bvxuxc

The Color of the Race Problem Is White
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aH-WSqanyQ

[water*drop]

Aug 31, 2016 10:38:28 GMT -5 bex said:

I feel like I always recommend these books, but these are two that really sort of opened my mind in terms of race and civil rights. I read them at very different times in my life and they really had a strong impact on me.

Walking with the Wind by John Lewis - this is specifically about the Civil Rights movement; it explains so much behind the training and preparation for the protests, and the sit-ins, and just the whole 50s/60s/70s. It's a memoir about history, but it really made me think about how far we HAVENT come.
www.amazon.com/Walking-Wind-Movement-Michael-DOrso/dp/1476797714/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472657630&sr=8-1&keywords=walking+with+the+wind+john+lewis


The Other Wes Moore (by Wes Moore) - book by Wes Moore (duh) about another black boy from Baltimore with the same name. Wes Moore spoke at the DNC in Denver a few years ago; the other Wes Moore is in prison. some elements of it are a little bootstrap-y, but I think it also shows an interesting perspective on the cycle of poverty and crime urban areas today.

www.amazon.com/Other-Wes-Moore-Name-Fates/dp/0385528205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472657771&sr=8-1&keywords=the+other+wes+moore+one+name+two+fates

I read The Other Wes Moore earlier this summer, and I also found it very interesting. I'll add the other book to my list. Thanks for sharing!

[awkwardpenguin]

Raising Race Conscious Children - this blog really challenges a lot of how we as adults have been taught to interact about race, and how to actively engage in conversations about race and racism with children.

[brandienee]

Just Mercy by Brian Stevenson is also on my TBR.

He is a civil rights lawyer. He spoke at my Masters Commencement about the importance of integration within communities. It was the best commencement speech I've heard. I wish we had a physical copy. His Ted Talk is also worth listening to.

[pennylane]

I appreciate these recs, thanks.

[loira]

rugbywife, thanks for sharing the Canada specific articles. I think a lot of Canadians feel we don't have a problem with racism, maybe because it's more subtle than in the US, or maybe because we stick our heads in the sand while waving the multicultural flag. Thanks also for the parenting resources.

Does anyone have any resources on being a white parent to a bi-racial (apologies if this is not the right term) child? I don't know how DD will choose to identify as she gets older, but she is half Hispanic and is likely to encounter some racism in her life.

[rugbywife]

Aug 31, 2016 13:23:30 GMT -5 loira said:

rugbywife , thanks for sharing the Canada specific articles. I think a lot of Canadians feel we don't have a problem with racism, maybe because it's more subtle than in the US, or maybe because we stick our heads in the sand while waving the multicultural flag. Thanks also for the parenting resources.

Does anyone have any resources on being a white parent to a bi-racial (apologies if this is not the right term) child? I don't know how DD will choose to identify as she gets older, but she is half Hispanic and is likely to encounter some racism in her life.

I definitely used to do this, a lot. I have, many times, tried to 'down play' the state of racism here. I am ashamed that I did that and have tried to do better, I now try to read as much as I can about racism in Canada and not pretend we are some how better, or better off. We aren't.

[mpc]

Thanks for all of these. I'm working my way through them.

[thom]

Great post and thank you @kirkette for adding your adult suggestions.

[jene]

I appreciate the recs. We already have a couple of books on the list at home, but I just got a few more and a couple for myself.

[kdubs923]

Great post, thanks all for the recs. I'm adding to my Amazon list.

[mannah]

Another good book for kids to start talking about race is "Shades of People".

www.amazon.com/Shades-People-Shelley-Rotner/dp/0823423050

[Yankees21]

Thank you for all of the recommendations. I wanted to add "Americanah" as one I read that I thought was really well done.

[anna7602]

loira, I have more identity politics authors to recommend on the Hispanic front than purely navigating racism stuff, although so much of it is tied together. No idea how any of these authors translate to a Canadian context, but check out Gloria Anzaldúa, Sandra Cisneros, and Hector Tobar. Those are off the top of my head, but there are plenty more.

Generally, for everyone, I remember finding Paulo Freire's "ThePedagogy of the Oppressed" to be a huge revelation in terms of thinking of "othering" and class and overcoming ingrained biases.

And @mrswindycity, I also read "brown girl dreaming" earlier this year and loved it.

Was it here or in another thread that @kirkette advocated for looking at traditional feminist politics more critically with an eye to race? I would also urge the same with regards to socialism and communism. Some of the most lauded socialist states are racist as all hell. Not that capitalist America is doing better, but just beware of the Rose-colored glasses.

[PatBenatar]

Thanks for all the recs in here. I feel like we have been moving in the right direction with our daughter but there is always room to learn more and grow.

[darnkatz]

Thank you for this post.

I recently read The Sisters Are Alright and Between the World and Me and both are excellent. I'll be adding the others to my to-read list.

Yankees21, I also really liked Americanah.

I think everyone should be required to read The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson.

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison is another book I would add to the list of books to read, as well as The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Some others I have on my list are The Sellout by Paul Beatty, "Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria?" by Beverly Daniel Tatum and Slavery By Another Name by Douglas A. Blackmon. 

[chedifuen]

Great recommendations. I've added several to my Amazon cart. I read a few earlier this year based on earlier recommendations. The Girls Are Alright and Negroland were amazing

[osulori]

Thank you all for the recommendations, both kid and adult appropriate. I will be adding to my Amazon list for sure.

[aspentosh]

@kirkette, I've read a few of those from your recommendations before. I was glad to see some new ones to add to my list.

And thank you water*drop for the links. DD has quite a few of the books already, but I like to have new ones brought in and the tips seems great.

[aspentosh]

Oh, and can I also throw out Ten, Nine, Eight- www.amazon.com/Nine-Eight-Board-Caldecott-Collection/dp/0688149014

DD has this one and we really love it.

[genet313]

Another vote for Between the World and Me for adult reading.  It's been several months since I read it, and certain parts still stay with me. 

For kids, DD (and I) really liked Global Babies/Global Baby Girls, Shades of People, Sesame Street We're Different, We're the Same, and People (but this is an older book and for older kids).  I also like some of the Karen Katz books for younger kids, because they feature kids of all races (albeit cartoon-ized).  

And, on the all time favorites list in our house is a book that @natariru recommended to me because her DS liked it, called Bread Bread Bread, which shows people eating bread all over the world.  

[anna7602]

My fresh-out-of-the-mailbox issue of Parents "Latina" recommends this book: "We Came to America" by Faith Ringold. Says PL, "no matter where we came from, we're all Americans. That's the message in this vibrant book about our country's diversity." 

(Sorry, Canadians.)