Can we talk about Church?

[brandnewday]

What y'all are describing sounds horrible. Collection plates for vacation, bad singing, ugh.

I go to a non-denom church that is culturally and politically diverse. My pastor doesn't bring politics into the pulpit for the most part. The majority of the people volunteer a few times a month on various teams.

It's very community and relationship based. I don't know if I could go back to COGIC. It was very hard for me, but also gave me a sense of black culture and personal discipline in faith.

[kicks]

I went to a somewhat mega church when I lived in Richmond and it wasn't like what you all described. That's a shame.

I don't know what I'll do when/if I have kids. My boyfriend is most definitely not religious and neither am I these days. Although I will tolerate going to church with my mom ever so often if she asked me.

But experiencing a black church is most definitely something I'd want my hypothetical kids to experience.

Are there any other smaller black churches in your area? I know there are plenty around me.

I definitely understand your conflicted feelings. Sorry not sure if anything of that is helpful.

[NitaX]

You can, and not every mega church is prosperity gospel. One of the largest black churches in Memphis doesn't do prosperity gospel. 

I'm not at "home" in a mega church, but I hate tiny churches because it doesn't feel like there is any real "growth" the membership is all ancient and the pastor isn't progressive. I would ask around for some recommendations and then google the church. A lot of churches have embraced technology and have YouTube videos of sermons. Watch those and see how you feel about the church.

Pay visits and not just on a big event day. Go on off Sundays like 3rd because the attendance is usually lower and you can get a better feel for how warm the congregation is. 

My church feels like home to me. Even tho I'm dreading some upcoming drama (LAWDT folks don't act right), but overall, I love the church and the people there.

[sunshine608]

I've pretty much given up. I really enjoyed my old church but then we got a new pastor and I just couldn't follow him. It was Unitef Methodist so he was eventually reassigned. I found another church but honestly it was to far in distance and a little to progressive for me- I feel like I'm very traditional when it comes to the service but not the church itself. I'm all over the place. My home church from 2000-2006 was perfect and I miss everything about it.

There is a local Methodist church I've been meaning to try that sounds perfect but I'm wary of new churches after a pastor locked the door once after I left because of the foolishness and the fact that he was badly plagiarizing a Joel Ostern sermon. Unfortunately my friend and my ride home was stuck inside. She said after I and several other left he demanded the ushers lock the door so people could hear his word.

[redwino]

I'm looking for a church now. I've visited a couple and will continue to visit more. I grew up baptist but can't see myself and family in a Baptist Church anymore. The nondenominational churches I've attended have had things I liked and things I don't. I have a problem when a church's biggest mission seems to be to obtain more "campuses". I also don't want to be part of a church where the pastor is inaccessible. These two things are what most of the nondenominational churches have in common in my area.

I'm interested in exploring other denominations but I know a black congregation is important to me so that limits my options. My plan is to keep visiting churches until I find one that fits. Surprisingly, I've gotten a lot of judgements from friends about that.

[wesleycrusher4ever]

I struggle with this because I'm athiest and want to raise my child completely secular, but I also want my child to enjoy the culture and traditions I did growing up in a black church, without the religion. I wish there was an all black Unitarian church in town. My town is very very white and I'm just worried they'll always be the only instead of knowing what it's like to be one of many.

[Queen Mamadala]

I was exposed to hyper-fundamentalism a la Jerry Falwell and two degrees shy of Duggars & Co. (same sect/cult) when I lived with my dad and stepmom. He was a deacon in one of the churches we started attending, and eventually became a youth pastor at the church they're at now. He's a hard core IFB apologist. I used to be just like him many years ago.

My mom is not religious at all. She was brought up culturally Christian, but she never really believed and only attends church for weddings and funerals. She's probably more of a deist. Very, very liberal and breezy, and she raised my sister in a non-religious household.

Comparative religion/religious studies is my field of study, and one of my true passions, but I'm not religious. I'm a relative atheist - agnostic pandeist. I deconverted nine years ago, a process that took about a year and a half. I explored different brands of theology during that time, and was a progressive Christian with Gnostic/mystic leanings by the time I left the Church. My older two were super young at the time, 3 and 1, and exH and I stopped attending church just before dd2 was born. ExH is atheist and my now-husband is also atheist. I expose them to all sort of ancient religious traditions and philosophies. They have many books on various traditions, folklore, their history, their legends, tenets, creation stories, etc. I used to identify as a Mahayana Buddhist with Vedantist leanings about 5+ years ago, and have several children's books on Buddhism and Dharmic philosophies. My oldest took an interest in the Norse tradition and has read some of their writings. So I make an effort to expose them to different traditions and we avoid using words that paint any one tradition as an absolute truth, and we make sure to explain there are many sects and denominations throughout all traditions. I'm looking forward to doing a more in depth and academic study with them when they're ready.

There's a Sunday Assembly where we live, and I've been to a few UU churches in the past. My husband went to one before he moved back to Sac, but didn't like it. It wasn't as progressive as he hoped.

[Queen Mamadala]

@barefootbarista

Here are some:

www.amazon.com/Buddha-Bedtime-Enchant-Enlighten-Inspire/dp/1844836231/ref=cm_lmf_img_7
www.amazon.com/Nothing-Something-Questions-Friendship-Everything/dp/1937006654/ref=pd_sim_14_8?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VAZQ4X0SFJF79NVQKRGX
www.amazon.com/Handful-Quiet-Happiness-Four-Pebbles/dp/1937006212/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=GS8TAWF4WPRPF89AR4QF
www.amazon.com/Once-Was-Monkey-Stories-Buddha/dp/0374335486/ref=pd_sim_14_9?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=12288T8F5F2MCJJ18BRV
www.amazon.com/Prince-Siddhartha-Buddha-Jonathan-Landaw/dp/0861716531/ref=pd_sim_14_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VRHDM3WEDQ05WK70AQ3W

Tao of Pooh. It explores Taoism. It's one of my favorite books. My oldest has read it. It's not a children's book.

www.amazon.com/Tao-Pooh-Benjamin-Hoff/dp/0140067477/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472921651&sr=1-1&keywords=tao+of+pooh

Hinduism. They love these two.

www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Hindu-Deities-Goddess/dp/0452287758/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472921749&sr=1-1&keywords=hindu+deities
www.amazon.com/Ganeshas-Sweet-Tooth-Emily-Haynes/dp/1452103623/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=5KHATYS9HF384DXBD4H1

[05heel]

I'm actually an atheist, but I attend church nearly every Sunday because I can SANG. LOL. Probably not what your're looking for, but I love singing gospel music. Now that I have a kid though, I still take her because I do think it's important for her to have the black church experience as a cultural reference. Every week she's surrounded by beautiful people who look like her, think she's beautiful (you know black churches love their babies), and who care about their community. I don't really tithe, but I do involve myself in the community outreach activities that I think are valuable. I'll sing a solo all day, but I draw the line at leading a prayer or altar call. That's just a little too blatantly heathenish and messy for me. I only require a good choir and good food. My only hard no is a church that is blatantly homophobic or sexist.

[sarabi]

youre north right?

I don't know much about that part of town, but I may be able to recommend some churches for you to try and see if they fit. I'll pm you in a few days.

We've been at a multicultural non denom church for a few years. I do miss the music and other traditional black experiences, but I think we're in the right place for our family right now. i do worry about my kids not being in any majority black environments. Actually been looking into Jack and Jill because of this.

[sfy]

Sept 5, 2016 11:40:51 GMT -5 cubed said:

So DH and I have half assed our attempt to try out different Churches. I was raised Catholic and even went to Catholic school until 8th grade. My mom took me to Mass Saturday or Sunday and it was a 45 minute in and out deal. It wasn't until high school where I started visiting other denominations that I realized Church doesn't have to be such a snooze fest.

DH attended Church sporadically when he was growing up and decided to be Baptized when he was in college. However, he is far more spiritual than most people I know and reads Bible passages daily. Me...not so much.

Our older son knows how to pray because of his first daycare, which was related to a United Methodist Church. He also knows how to pray in Hebrew because of the JCC preschool he attended. I think the more exposure the better. At a young age, I do believe habit and familiarity are great and I want to take another chance and go to more Churches. It's just hard with DS2, who thought the priest was singing to him and kept repeating the humming he heard at the Catholic Mass. I had to walk out of the back because he started "singing" and kids in the back started giggling with their parents. Heh.

iammalcolmx or sfy, any suggestions where to go?

No, sorry, I'm Catholic, so the only churches I've been to in the area are Catholic.