"You have to get to know him"

[Deleted]

Do people ever tell you this about a person? Like an asshole? Like "oh, you really have to get to know him, and then he's cool" kinda deal?

No, I don't have to get to know him. If he's not likable on the surface, he's not worth my time.

There are so many people I like INSTANTLY. Why waste time on somebody who takes WORK?

[cjeanette]

I think this is the case with me. I am like cheese.

[y4m]

I think I'm like this. But it's because I don't come out of my shell until I know people. So I'm pretty boring until you know me. Possibly after that too.

[btay]

I am like this. I am so shy that people think I'm stuck-up. Really I'm just terrified to talk to strangers.

[cjeanette]

May 17, 2012 16:57:34 GMT -5 y4m said:

I think I'm like this. But it's because I don't come out of my shell until I know people. So I'm pretty boring until you know me. Possibly after that too.

yes! So people think I am boring or a bitch at first.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 16:57:34 GMT -5 y4m said:

I think I'm like this. But it's because I don't come out of my shell until I know people. So I'm pretty boring until you know me. Possibly after that too.

I feel the same way about myself. I don't come off as an asshole to anyone, but sometimes aloof or boring.

[slug*bug]

May 17, 2012 16:55:27 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

There are so many people I like INSTANTLY. Why waste time on somebody who takes WORK?

True, but there's that occasional person who is worth it.

A close gf's DH is my best example.

His first impression is very reserved...at first I couldn't figure out how they were compatible. B/c I saw them together multiple times, he eventually opened up and honestly? He is one of the most hysterical people I've ever met and he treats my friend wonderfully, which makes me like him even more.

I never would've guessed it the first time we met. Team givepeopleachance.

Edited b/c I can't make myself make sense the first time around, apparently.

[Deleted]

Silly cjeanette and y4m! Both of you make good first impressions.

Remember, I am instantly judgy.

[jgleespen]

May 17, 2012 16:56:43 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

I think this is the case with me. I am like cheese.

What's not to like about cheese?

[y4m]

May 17, 2012 16:59:30 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Silly cjeanette and y4m! Both of you make good first impressions.

Remember, I am instantly judgy.

We had made our first impressions on you before you met us though. It's different.

[Deleted]

I guess I just appreciate WYSIWYG.

And it doesn't matter if it's good or if it's bad.

At least I don't have to waste time digging to find out.

[EmilieMadison]

"You have to get to know him" is usually code for "Once you're used to him, maybe you'll just decide to put up with his asshole behaviour." I dont put up with asshole behaviour, so I dont want to take the time.

I disliked DH's best friend when I first met him, but I actually DID end up liking him once I got to know him. And he's not an asshole

[fuddyduddy]

I think this is kind of difficult to do. People tend to form opinions about others within a few seconds of meeting them, so I think it would be challenging to overcome that first impression. Some people may grow on you over time (or become less likeable), but I see no reason to force it.

[StJess80]

I am the same way. I don't have the time or the energy. Wow me in 30 seconds, because that's all you have.

semi-unrelated--I always tell people that they have 30 seconds to get their message across, because after that, my mind is somewhere else if I am not interested.

[AHappierHour]

yes this is my FI, he is shy around new crowds but once he warms up he's good to go. It bothers me at times but from past experience there could be worst things about a person.

[Deleted]

But this is NOT a "shy" issue.

I can meet shy people and like them right away.

Argh. I don't know how to explain.

[womet]

DH and I are both fairly outgoing people. I think we both make good first impressions.

[Deleted]

my cousin Bart is like this. he tends to break social norms (which can make people feel uncomfortable) and can seem like an asshole. but really, he is super fun, witty and loyal.

everyone who really knows him absolutely loves him.

but I get where you are coming from - if he wasn't family I might not have put in that much effort to get to know him.

[EmilieMadison]

May 17, 2012 17:12:00 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

But this is NOT a "shy" issue.

I can meet shy people and like them right away.

Argh. I don't know how to explain.

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Some people may be shy at first, or come off as stuck up because they're shy, whatever. They just take time to warm up, and typically, I can see that. Within 30 seconds. But there are types of people that give me douchchills in less than a minute. THOSE are the ones who people say "you have to get to know them". No, I dont have to and I'm not gonna.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 17:20:43 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

May 17, 2012 17:12:00 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

But this is NOT a "shy" issue.

I can meet shy people and like them right away.

Argh. I don't know how to explain.

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Some people may be shy at first, or come off as stuck up because they're shy, whatever. They just take time to warm up, and typically, I can see that. Within 30 seconds. But there are types of people that give me douchchills in less than a minute. THOSE are the ones who people say "you have to get to know them". No, I dont have to and I'm not gonna.

YOU GET ME, EMILIEMADISON! Hahahahahaha.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 17:21:17 GMT -5 v said:

May 17, 2012 17:15:56 GMT -5 tacom said:

my cousin Bart is like this. he tends to break social norms (which can make people feel uncomfortable) and can seem like an asshole. but really, he is super fun, witty and loyal.

everyone who really knows him absolutely loves him.

but I get where you are coming from - if he wasn't family I might not have put in that much effort to get to know him.

One of my projects is a Bart! Is he a lawyer?

non-practicing, but yes.

he loved law school - hated working as an attorney. then his dad died out of nowhere, so he inherited a decent sum of money and day trades on his iPhone. he also reads about a novel a day and takes care of his two dogs. he really is a bizarre person.

He let me live with him for a summer when things got bad at home, so I might view him through overly-rose-colored-glasses.

[Deleted]

+v+ I also realize he is probably your age. LOL. I wonder if you actually know him.

[EmilieMadison]

May 17, 2012 17:23:55 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

May 17, 2012 17:20:43 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Some people may be shy at first, or come off as stuck up because they're shy, whatever. They just take time to warm up, and typically, I can see that. Within 30 seconds. But there are types of people that give me douchchills in less than a minute. THOSE are the ones who people say "you have to get to know them". No, I dont have to and I'm not gonna.

YOU GET ME, EMILIEMADISON! Hahahahahaha.

[aspentosh]

I agree with you completely. If the person is a douche from the beginning, it's not worth the effort.

[Doc_Lobster]

May 17, 2012 16:55:27 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Do people ever tell you this about a person? Like an asshole? Like "oh, you really have to get to know him, and then he's cool" kinda deal?

No, I don't have to get to know him. If he's not likable on the surface, he's not worth my time.

There are so many people I like INSTANTLY. Why waste time on somebody who takes WORK?

I have a feeling that I'm someone that people have to "get to know" in order to appreciate.

[Deleted]

Doubtful because I like you very very much!

[Deleted]

This is the case with me. IRL I am very quiet and shielded around new people. I have to know you for awhile and be comfortable around you before I let me true awesomeness be known.

[cjeanette]

May 17, 2012 17:00:48 GMT -5 @jgleespen said:

May 17, 2012 16:56:43 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

I think this is the case with me. I am like cheese.

What's not to like about cheese?

It gets better with time ;D

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 17:00:48 GMT -5 @jgleespen said:

May 17, 2012 16:56:43 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

I think this is the case with me. I am like cheese.

What's not to like about cheese?

Ask volenti. Oh, wait...

[cjeanette]

True, I guess a total prick you can often tell from the start.