My first instinct is to exit MMM stage left but I know I'm just leaving it to others to say what needs to be said, and that's not right. So. Stop being shitpigs. It shouldn't be hard to do but, inexplicably, it apparently is.
Post by noodleskooze on Sept 8, 2016 20:01:32 GMT -5
Yeah, @this the whole point of the discussions this past week is that it's not right to just step back and read. It's just plain wrong to stay silent when you see racism.
Is it really so hard not to be a total fucking asshole?
I mean, as a white person who still has some work to do, I know I might step in it at some point and say something offensive, it can happen, but.
It's not that hard to avoid talking shit behind people's backs on a "gossip" board.
It's not that hard to realize that sticking your head in the sand and talking about Pokemon or TV shows is pretty offensive while real shit is going down. People bristled at TamiTaylor's callout because they felt like they were being coerced into speaking but news flash - if you weren't posting banal shit in those threads then you weren't the target audience. And if you were then hell yes you needed to be, ahem, redirected!
It might not be easy to be a perfect white ally but it's also not hard avoid being a giant raging asshole.
I have certainly not responded perfectly to every racial topic that has come up...sometimes it takes me a while to understand, and certainly I have remained silent when I wish I'd had the balls to speak up. But FFS, people....a GOSSIP TRAIN to make fun of these real issues? Kicking out WOC? Come the fuck on.
This board has meant so much to me over the last couple of years and has been my lifeline during some really hard and lonely times. I am so disappointed right now.
I'm so angry for your friend, @246baje, and for all of you who continue to be on the receiving end of such atrocious behavior. I'm so sorry. That seems so hollow to say but it is so true. I'm just sorry and angry.
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to say WTF? I thought this was a board of liberal, educated, enlightened(?) women. It certainly doesn't seem like it recently.
i'm going to pick on you to make a point.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies.
I remember this point coming up in a few CEP threads. It was eye-opening.
What's horrible? Fact? There's no time to worry about the horribleness of it all when you're worrying about all you've got to do to keep your family alive and intact.
Notice how there are rarely navel gazing posts started by POC, such as, "I'm going on a cruise in 2057, and I'm worried it's too early to be away from my baby. Send hair pats!".
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to say WTF? I thought this was a board of liberal, educated, enlightened(?) women. It certainly doesn't seem like it recently.
i'm going to pick on you to make a point.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies. i'm honestly happy people are being forced to face the fact that THIS IS YOU, white america. this is not a shock to a single one of the WOC who post and lurk on these boards. not one. it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating, even a bit entertaining from the sheer ridiculousness, but surprising? not even a tiny bit.
own it and then move forward. but stop thinking that because you voted for a black man and you made grandma nugget's famous mac 'n cheese that this is not you. it is. that's life. now do better.
with that, i'm done posting here as well. this board is many things, but a place for WOC to post it is not.
I am one of those people, and I pledge to better every day. What's become clear to me in the last two weeks, though, is how little I truly understand about how privilege works. Hell, I made it clear when I questioned Tami's post last week. Its like I'm barely at the tip of the iceberg.
It's been a week since the "extra points" bullshit, and it seems like a lot of (white) people want to go back to posting random thoughts while ignoring posts that directly speak to racism. The "don't talk to white people about race" thread had, what, less than twenty posters? So you'll "read and listen" when you don't want to look like a racist, but stick your head back in that ostrich hole as soon as you think no one is paying attention.
Because deleting nata was fucked up but wanting to "move on" from the racial threads was ALSO fucked up.
So nope not exonerated.
Here's your FUCK YOU!
Absolutely I see.
Eta: I didn't want to move on and I don't want you to think that was the case. I didn't start any posts not respond to anything besides support for people going through bad times. But I also felt badly that people felt uncomfortable posting those things.
I want to come back to this. My posting last week in no way stated that you cant post important things (see all the posters agreeing with me that I let legitimate serious threads alone) but it was more to say "Hey maybe that Pokemon thing you catch isn't so important right now." It's such a slap in the face to the WOC to carry on as nothing has happened. We white posters have the privilege to just keep on keeping on. I never posted a malicious poster specific call out. It was an across the board "hey lets get our shit together."
Again, it's not my problem people felt uncomfortable.
It's disappointing that you and others, shared (or relished in the fact of sharing) my real name, that you turned a chat into mocking racial issues, and removed a WOC so you could keep on do your thing.
I am very disappointed in you. I've never been anything but kind to you. It obviously wasn't deserved.
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to say WTF? I thought this was a board of liberal, educated, enlightened(?) women. It certainly doesn't seem like it recently.
i'm going to pick on you to make a point.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies. i'm honestly happy people are being forced to face the fact that THIS IS YOU, white america. this is not a shock to a single one of the WOC who post and lurk on these boards. not one. it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating, even a bit entertaining from the sheer ridiculousness, but surprising? not even a tiny bit.
own it and then move forward. but stop thinking that because you voted for a black man and you made grandma nugget's famous mac 'n cheese that this is not you. it is. that's life. now do better.
with that, i'm done posting here as well. this board is many things, but a place for WOC to post it is not.
Yes.
Liberal, educated, white women are often among the most racist.
Post by Velar Fricative on Sept 8, 2016 20:16:53 GMT -5
FFS. I'm both appalled and not surprised.
I remember at the NYC GTG in July (I think a week before the MMM GTG?), @natariru was talking about how she really wanted to go to Chicago but ended up not being able to go. And this is how people who would have been sucking up to her there are behaving. No one needs fake "friends" like that. Imagine having to come to that realization all the damn time about so many damn people who you thought were your friends - that's what people of color have to deal with.
@this and others can take a break but we WOC live in this bullshit and when you take a break, ignore it and post about dumb shit and homespun looking clothes instead, you are guaranteeing that your children will grow up to be just as hurtful and ignorant as you are being right now.
I think about this a LOT. I've had moments of "trying to understand and unpack all my privilege* is so exhausting. The rest of my life has stress too. I want a break." And then I slap myself because HAVING a break is privilege. Just momentarily grasping a fraction of that mental and emotional fatigue makes me all the more appalled. And when I misstep, and I do regularly, I try at least not to make the same mistake twice. Because it's bad enough to mess up to begin with, and worse not to do better.
I don't want to apologize and run. I want to do better and not pay empty lip service. I am going to do the Yale course on African American history and experience. If anyone else wants to participate and have a discussion group, please let me know and I will start a once-a-week thread.
I also want to remind people of the organization @kirkette recommended we donate to: www.jklivinfoundation.org
I will make a donation this week.
I know this will sound like I'm doing these things to myself feel better or to try and deflect blame or something. Maybe some of that is even true. But ultimately I want to be a good mom and a good friend, and these are the two first steps I can think to take. I will keep looking for more. When it might benefit other people too, I will post them. Otherwise, I will just do them.
Post by bugandbibs on Sept 8, 2016 20:21:11 GMT -5
I'm listening and learning in this thread and what I've come up with is that there are SOME MESSY ASS, RACHET, RACIST BITCHES HERE WHO ARE SO USED TO BEING PART OF WHITE PRIVILEGE THAT THEY DON'T FEEL SHAME FOR THEIR IGNORANT ASSHOLE BEHAVIOR.
I'm so tired, but my ass is tan every single day and I can't run from that when thInge get too hard or serious. My kids deserve better than the examples some of you are setting for their future classmates.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies. i'm honestly happy people are being forced to face the fact that THIS IS YOU, white america. this is not a shock to a single one of the WOC who post and lurk on these boards. not one. it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating, even a bit entertaining from the sheer ridiculousness, but surprising? not even a tiny bit.
own it and then move forward. but stop thinking that because you voted for a black man and you made grandma nugget's famous mac 'n cheese that this is not you. it is. that's life. now do better.
with that, i'm done posting here as well. this board is many things, but a place for WOC to post it is not.
Yes.
Liberal, educated, white women are often among the most racist.
And it's because they say "I'm liberal, educated, and a woman, so I can't possibly be racist!"
It's like people who wrongly think there are no racists in the north, because only southerners are racist. And then you just don't see racism except where you expect to find it (i.e. Trump rallies).
It's too easy to say "I'm one of the GOOD ONES," and not actually challenge yourself and those around you to do better.
Has the bottom of the barrel finally been scraped? Dear God I hope so.
You're adorable.
NO .
You're right and I know better by now. I'm sure they'll be need for another housecleaning and purge all too soon.
I'm in need of a new German word that adequately describes my feelings about all of this ish. Fremdschämen doesn't work because second hand embarrassment requires at least a smidge of empathy and right now I'm not feeling that for my cousins*.
*meaning those particular posters who keep paying lip service to doing better but are alarmingly quick to show their asses once again
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to say WTF? I thought this was a board of liberal, educated, enlightened(?) women. It certainly doesn't seem like it recently.
i'm going to pick on you to make a point.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies. i'm honestly happy people are being forced to face the fact that THIS IS YOU, white america. this is not a shock to a single one of the WOC who post and lurk on these boards. not one. it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating, even a bit entertaining from the sheer ridiculousness, but surprising? not even a tiny bit.
own it and then move forward. but stop thinking that because you voted for a black man and you made grandma nugget's famous mac 'n cheese that this is not you. it is. that's life. now do better.
with that, i'm done posting here as well. this board is many things, but a place for WOC to post it is not.
I am ashamed to say that I didn't get this until relatively recently. I've rested on my white liberal laurels and thinking Other People are the problem. But I'm the problem too because I'm not actually doing anything other than having the "right" thoughts. I am sincerely working on changing that (the inaction part, not the thoughts).
Post by rupertpenny on Sept 8, 2016 20:23:59 GMT -5
Jesus, I always knew this board was 95% full of boring basic bitches, but some of you have really outdone yourself. I know I don't come here that much, but I don't even know who most of the people involved in the group chat are they bring so little to the table. The only reason I ever did come here at all is for the few fun and interesting people here like @kirkette, @natariru, anna7602, kicks and a few others. This board is going to be even more of a lame suburban mommy internet wasteland without all the awesome people who are leaving.
Post by browneyedgirl9 on Sept 8, 2016 20:25:51 GMT -5
Just got on here, and can't believe this shit. This is so fucking messed up. What is wrong with people. Obviously some of these women haven't taken anything away from the discussions over the past week.
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to say WTF? I thought this was a board of liberal, educated, enlightened(?) women. It certainly doesn't seem like it recently.
i'm going to pick on you to make a point.
by all accounts, this IS the general makeup of the board. that's the point.
this behavior does not only exist at Trump rallies. i'm honestly happy people are being forced to face the fact that THIS IS YOU, white america. this is not a shock to a single one of the WOC who post and lurk on these boards. not one. it's exhausting, sometimes infuriating, even a bit entertaining from the sheer ridiculousness, but surprising? not even a tiny bit.
own it and then move forward. but stop thinking that because you voted for a black man and you made grandma nugget's famous mac 'n cheese that this is not you. it is. that's life. now do better.
with that, i'm done posting here as well. this board is many things, but a place for WOC to post it is not.
You are so right. I like to think that racism is kept in the backwoods redneck conservative America, but it's simply not true. White people need to sit down and shut the fuck up. I worry about the direction this country is moving.
Post by estrellita on Sept 8, 2016 20:28:39 GMT -5
Finally catching up on this. Wtf? I mean, really. I feel like I just flashed back to HS with the bitchy talking behind people's backs. This is just angering. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said. People need to get over themselves and stop this bullshit.