My point was there is a way to correct without ending the conversation. I didn't say not to call people out.
But then she lost me with the white privilege question.
So.
Please tell us this perfect way to guide a conversation correctly in order to bring about change.
I didn't say I had a perfect way.
The way that it did go down made her retreat right back into a place of white privilege and questioning why she couldn't have feelings for her own children.
Perhaps by saying, "Bringing up your white children's experience in this conversation actually is counterintuitive to this argument, and is very much a reason this topic is still persisting."-- might have been a better teaching point for her.
No dude. No. Not calling people out on shit is what has led to all of this. We've ignored a lot on this board for years. We can't keep ignoring shit or handling people with kid gloves just because their feelings might get hurt. That time needs to be over.
My point was there is a way to correct without ending the conversation. I didn't say not to call people out.
But then she lost me with the white privilege question.
So.
there shouldn't be any conversation, so the correct course of action is to STFU
Please tell us this perfect way to guide a conversation correctly in order to bring about change.
I didn't say I had a perfect way.
The way that it did go down made her retreat right back into a place of white privilege and questioning why she couldn't have feelings for her own children.
Perhaps by saying, "Bringing up your white children's experience in this conversation actually is counterintuitive to this argument, and is very much a reason this topic is still persisting."-- might have been a better teaching point for her.
No. Again. No.
You're suggesting handling her with kid gloves because otherwise she might get upset. So handle her gently and maybe she will take the time to listen and get it.
No! She's white, not made of glass. She won't break.
Please tell us this perfect way to guide a conversation correctly in order to bring about change.
Yes please, white women. Tell us again how to have these conversations appropriately. I'll wait.
@natariru I absolutely am not coming from a place of correcting a moment of injustice, and apologize that it is the way my comment is coming off. I worry about my husband and my family every time they leave my sight.
I am absolutely actively engaged in this conversation, in Ferguson and in the BLM movement in my current community.
They way POC want to have the conversation is the way they should, and I will continue to help how best I can.
Please tell us this perfect way to guide a conversation correctly in order to bring about change.
I didn't say I had a perfect way.
The way that it did go down made her retreat right back into a place of white privilege and questioning why she couldn't have feelings for her own children.
Perhaps by saying, "Bringing up your white children's experience in this conversation actually is counterintuitive to this argument, and is very much a reason this topic is still persisting."-- might have been a better teaching point for her.
You're suggesting handling her with kid gloves because otherwise she might get upset. So handle her gently and maybe she will take the time to listen and get it.
No! She's white, not made of glass. She won't break.
Quit being mean.
If you had only worded that more kindly, I might have one day thought about listening.
I said "my children" bc it's still who will be left in this world(50, 100+??) after I'm dead and gone and unable to see what becomes of this cluster!
Yes, my 3 blondies will always have WP. And I will,too. But I'll always be here trying to be part of the solution, folks! And trying to teach them how to live in this fucking country.
Even if I'm coming across clumsy as hell, I am going to keep stating my opinion and trying to understand.
The way that it did go down made her retreat right back into a place of white privilege and questioning why she couldn't have feelings for her own children.
Perhaps by saying, "Bringing up your white children's experience in this conversation actually is counterintuitive to this argument, and is very much a reason this topic is still persisting."-- might have been a better teaching point for her.
Lol. Can I teach you something?
You are now in competition for biggest dumb ass.
How is this continuing?
I should have corrected her with my words, rather than correcting those for how she was corrected. I see and admit my mistake, and I was at fault.
I don't know that it's a nod to my intelligence, but you are entitled to think it does.
I should have corrected her with my words, rather than correcting those for how she was corrected. I see and admit my mistake, and I was at fault.
I don't know that it's a nod to my intelligence, but you are entitled to think it does.
Well you asked for "us" to teach.
That's my method of teaching by calling someone's actions for what they are. At best your post is hypocritical and lacks any understanding of the subject matter you clearly feel versed enough to educate the WOCs about and at worst it's just plain stupid. Your choice.
I should have corrected her with my words, rather than correcting those for how she was corrected. I see and admit my mistake, and I was at fault.
I don't know that it's a nod to my intelligence, but you are entitled to think it does.
Well you asked for "us" to teach.
That's my method of teaching by calling someone's actions for what they are. At best your post is hypocritical and lacks any understanding of the subject matter you clearly feel versed enough to educate the WOCs about and at worst it's just plain stupid. Your choice.
I have absolutely nothing to educate the WOC on at all-- I didn't know who I was speaking to and again, should have corrected Missy's comment directly rather than correcting how she was corrected (I don't know anyone here at all).
So you're right. It was stupid. And for that, I apologize.
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
Not quite. I was all feelings and think of the children in my OP. It was my entire point.
But, keep being insulting and shitty. I'm gonna head to bed.
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
You're absolutely right.
And I am whole-heartedly sorry for making it another moment of nearly forced teaching for those who are not responsible for making people behave decently.
Is this still happening? I keep thinking well that was a dumb ass comment. Then a bigger dumb ass comes along. Is it now a competition to see who can be the biggest dumb ass of the board? Why do people keep trying to show empathy by making this about THEM and how it effects their families?
Because this entire long thread is indicative ,a tiny shred, of what's going on in our country. It's disgusting. And I don't see it getting better over the next several generations before it gets worse. And for me, I'm sad about that. For my kids growing g up in a world like this? I'm sad.
Why is that not an "acceptable" way to feel?
I hadn't even read your comment. I was commenting on what seems to be occurring on another thread. However, I stand by what I've stated. You may want to step back because honestly your sentiment and thoughts have been echoed for pages. The point is look at it beyond your bubble.
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
Not quite. I was all feelings and think of the children in my OP. It was my entire point.
But, keep being insulting and shitty. I'm gonna head to bed.
Night!
Are you kidding? This was so kindly and eloquently stated and that's your response?
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
The BLM protests (especially in MN after Philando Castile was shot, when all the people on Summit Avenue were being "inconvenienced"), Colin Kaepernick's and now Brandon Marshall's protest, the calm discussion and patience WOC on here have shown all of us - is never the "right" way to discuss race issues. Which is bull shit. Maybe burning shit down (as we like to say here 05heel) is what's needed. I don't know, but I'm certainly not going to tell WOC how to communicate.
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
Not quite. I was all feelings and think of the children in my OP. It was my entire point.
But, keep being insulting and shitty. I'm gonna head to bed.
Night!
The isn't about your feelings. Did you read the thread?
Get out of here with your little emoji smile as if that absolves you of everything or anything.
Oh, El oh el, noodles. Calm the FUCK down and give it a rest tonight, will ya? Too hard to admit to yourself that i, as a white woman, wanted to try sharring an opinion in a respectful way for the last hour. I get nothing but dumped on,misunderstood, laughed at... so I throw a tiny snark emoji out there and you're riled?
Ok but, see how people came at you and how you responded attempting to explain your intent, acknowledging the frustration and reiterating your desire to be a better ally? They came at her the same way and she immediately got defensive and feelings and think of the children.
So it's not actually about how things are communicated. It's about the person being communicated having the ability to not get up in their feelings and to listen with recognition of the frustration behind the words.
And I, for one, am no longer here for couching what I have to say in cotton candy and bubble wrap. If you really want to listen, then LISTEN. I can whisper that a house is on fire, or scream it, or calmly state it but the fact is no matter how I communicate it the house is still on fucking fire.
Not quite. I was all feelings and think of the children in my OP. It was my entire point.
But, keep being insulting and shitty. I'm gonna head to bed.
Night!
ew. GTFO, Missy. Fuck you and yours. Good night, bitch!
Get out of here with your little emoji smile as if that absolves you of everything or anything.
Oh, El oh el, noodles. Calm the FUCK down and give it a rest tonight, will ya? Too hard to admit to yourself that i, as a white woman, wanted to try sharring an opinion in a respectful way for the last hour. I get nothing but dumped on,misunderstood, laughed at... so I throw a tiny snark emoji out there and you're riled?
Still not offended though! Never that. I'm just not going to let some trashy fool go skipping off into the sunset like she actually said anything of substance. Remember that I'm not new here before you try to act brand new.
Missy, the experience of racism isn't about you or your kids (or me or my kids). Fixing it is. You're making this about your feelings and your progeny which, given all the surrounding board and current social context, is especially irrelevant. Always irrelevant, but especially irrelevant.