How do you take a break?

[mrsn052408]

I don't go here but I lurk once in awhile. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I know marriages ebb and flow. But, I feel like I might be done. There's no drama, no fighting, no cheating. But, just little things that are building up. Today is my birthday. He has to work 11a-10p. He chose to sleep in until it was time to go to work. I got up with our two kids, ages 3 and 6, did some work, laundry, fed them breakfast and got ready for out of town company coming today. He acted like everything was fine when he got up. I quietly explained that I was disappointed. He apologized. I couldn't tell if it was sincere. He's not usually a jerk. He's started a new job that he hates. We are working opposite shifts. I want more. I either want to be alone and happy or with someone who puts me first for a couple of hours on my birthday. Maybe we need a break. I could ask him to move out and go to his mother's. He'd still have to come here to get the kids ready in the morning. He always said he'd never do counseling. I love him but....Life is too short to live with regrets. If you took a break, how did you do it with kids?

[cuddlyevil]

Are you in therapy? It is what helped me figure things out.

[nextbigthing]

Do you know why he won't do counseling? In this situation, it probably would help a lot.

Hugs

[mrsn052408]

Oct 9, 2016 12:07:38 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Are you in therapy? It is what helped me figure things out.

I'm not but you are right. It's a good first step. Thanks for that clarity I just don't have.

[mrsn052408]

Oct 9, 2016 14:25:53 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Do you know why he won't do counseling? In this situation, it probably would help a lot.

Hugs

I certainly could ask. I guess I'm afraid to talk about the elephant in the room. I get it though. Nothing worth having is ever easy. Thanks

[cuddlyevil]

Oct 9, 2016 19:59:45 GMT -5 mrsn052408 said:

Oct 9, 2016 12:07:38 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Are you in therapy? It is what helped me figure things out.

I'm not but you are right. It's a good first step. Thanks for that clarity I just don't have.

You're welcome. It really will help you figure things out.

[Linie]

I agree with pp about seeing a therapist on your own. After a few sessions, you could ask for the name of a couple's therapist. When my marriage went down, we did couple's therapy but it was too late. It could have helped if we had done it years earlier.

Good luck!

[mrsn052408]

Oct 10, 2016 6:18:35 GMT -5 Linie said:

I agree with pp about seeing a therapist on your own. After a few sessions, you could ask for the name of a couple's therapist. When my marriage went down, we did couple's therapy but it was too late. It could have helped if we had done it years earlier.

Good luck!

I called my insurance today to ask about coverage and to get a list of names. Thanks for the push in the right direction!

[glynn]

Good Luck!