What would be best?

[gretchenindisguise]

A good friend's husband passed away on Monday, and his funeral is going to be on Sunday.

We live in San Diego, funeral is in the Midwest.

They've been friends for 13 years to both my husband and I.

Flights at this point are out of our price range, except on Frontier. I can get there on Frontier late Saturday night, but our only option to fly back on Sunday is leaving at 4pm. Viewing/Funeral is planned for 12-4pm. We'd have to leave at 2pm to make the flight.

Should we go?

Should we wait and go in a few weeks to help with other stuff? We could do a weekend later on.

If you have gone through something similar, which would you have preferred?

[shopgirl07]

I think I would prefer if you came later on. You'll feel rushed and stressed so I don't think you'll be that helpful for the funeral. Plus, she'll need ongoing support and the worst times can be when the services are over and everyone goes back to their lives. Send a nice arrangement for the funeral and visit later when you can.

[ECB]

I agree with shopgirl07. I think your time (and money) would be better spent in a few weeks when the rush of everything is over and the reality of her new life has set in.

[gretchenindisguise]

You guys are confirming what H and I were leaning towards.

Thank you.

[sapphireblue]

I agree with others. Everything will be a blur to your friend at the funeral. In a few weeks or months, people return to their normal lives and the grieving person is being hit with the reality of their loss (I'm generalizing here). A visit then will probably be very much appreciated.

[juliachild]

Send a card now. Visit later.

[spitforspat]

Visit later. One of the hardest parts of losing someone is that for everyone else the world goes on, when yours has just stopped. After the service people go home, go back to work, etc, and you're alone with your thoughts. She'll appreciate some company after the crowds have left.

[spitforspat]

Also, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[emoflamingo]

Definitely later. Not exactly the same but having friends who stuck around weeks after my mom's funeral helped my emotional well being soooooo much.

[bma]

I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with others, wait a few weeks when the initial support starts to fade. It will do more then, IMO.

[awick14]

I would go later for sure. Friends who are around after a loss can be so helpful.

((Hugs)) I'm sorry for your loss.