As some of you know, BIL and SIL have a baby (L). She's 4 months old now. She goes to a daycare/preschool that is well known in the area, and has good reviews. Yesterday, when we went to visit them, they were telling us about one of the ladies that works in the baby's infant room. BIL told us that the lady was talking about how she hates working there, and she feels like she is overqualified b/c she has a masters degree, and doesn't make much money.(which I agree that she is probably underpaid there, but that's not something to discuss with parents of kids in your care IMO) She also said that she loves the L, and that that L is the only reason that she doesn't go home and cut herself at night. BIL and SIL are packers fans, and brought her to daycare on Friday wearing a packers onesie. This woman said "oh, i don't like the packers, we'll have to change you out of that outfit" and BIL thought she was joking, so he just laughed it off. When he got there to pick her up, she had been changed, but he thought she had probably had a diaper blowout, so he didn't say anything about it. When he got home, he realized the packers onesie was clean, and in her diaper bag that gets left at daycare. Then, another day that week, SIL went to pick up L and the daycare worker was holding her, and before she handed her to SIL, she KISSED L. I feel like this is BEYOND weird. I mentioned talking to the director, but they said that they were worried that the daycare worker would KNOW that it was them that said something, and that then L would not receive good care. I told them maybe they should start looking for other daycares. WWMLD?
Post by fuckstick on Sept 10, 2012 11:46:14 GMT -5
Based on the cutting herself comment alone, I would talk to the person who runs things, STAT. Combined with everything else... there's some serious problems there.
The money & cutting comments were out of line and worthy of speaking to the director. The changing & kissing are NBD. Why is it weird that she kissed L? I sometimes kiss the kids I watched.
Post by fuckstick on Sept 10, 2012 11:59:16 GMT -5
I don't think changing her was a *huge* deal, the kissing is kind of iffy, but both of those tacked on to the cutting herself/inappropriate money comments are just pushing it over the top.
Obviously the woman has no sense of boundaries if she's saying these things to the parents, and frankly would make me question how emotionally (un)stable she was. Sounds like she's pretty fixated on the baby yet unhappy working there which raises a red flag.
The money & cutting comments were out of line and worthy of speaking to the director. The changing & kissing are NBD. Why is it weird that she kissed L? I sometimes kiss the kids I watched.
Personally, I don't think the kissing is that weird, but BIL and SIL are not as huggy and kissy as I am, so I see how that would bother them. I also don't know if it was like a forehead kiss, or a mouth kiss, which is also kind of a factor in how weird it is. If the kissing was the ONLY issue, I think I would have just rolled my eyes about it, but my SIL described the whole scenario to me as "I think this lady really wants to be L's MOM." I would NOT be ok with feeling like that about my DCP.
OOOOOHHHHH andplusalso, I forgot to add this part: BIL said that the daycare worker was saying "OMG, you HAVE to see the cute picture I took of L the other day!" so BIL said ok, and then she proceeded to scroll through about 30 pics of L on her phone to find the one se was looking for.
Now, When I worked for a daycare, I would sometimes take pics of kids doing something cute on my phone, but I never took THAT MANY pictures of ONE INDIVIDUAL kid. I also thought that as weird....
I told H that I asked you guys what to do, and you all said talk tot he director and look for a new daycare. He said that he would readdress this with BIL asap.
Post by karmasabiotch on Sept 10, 2012 12:49:52 GMT -5
I don't think changing and kissing is a big deal. The money thing is iffy. Daycare workers are all underpaid. The cutting scary and I would pull my kid out asap. If she is crazy enough to voice that outloud to a parent I wouldn't want her to watch my child.
I don't think changing and kissing is a big deal. The money thing is iffy. Daycare workers are all underpaid. The cutting scary and I would pull my kid out asap. If she is crazy enough to voice that outloud to a parent I wouldn't want her to watch my child.
I DO think it's weird b/c she changed her out of an outfit, just b/c she didn't like the outfit. If it was b/c of an accident or something, no big deal, but just because you don't like it??? NOT a reason to change a baby that doesn't belong to you.
OOOOOHHHHH andplusalso, I forgot to add this part: BIL said that the daycare worker was saying "OMG, you HAVE to see the cute picture I took of L the other day!" so BIL said ok, and then she proceeded to scroll through about 30 pics of L on her phone to find the one se was looking for.
Now, When I worked for a daycare, I would sometimes take pics of kids doing something cute on my phone, but I never took THAT MANY pictures of ONE INDIVIDUAL kid. I also thought that as weird....
I never took a picture I didn't share with the parents. That's weird!
After we left their house H just kept saying, "you watch a lot of 20/20 and 48 hours and stuff, don't you think this sounds like the beginning to one of those shows where the baby gets abducted?" and I was like "YES!" I think BIL and SIL are trying to rationalize all of this stuff, instead of listening to their instincts about it. We will talk to them again tonight for sure, and hopefully they will pull L out, and have her someplace new and safe ASAP.
I DO think it's weird b/c she changed her out of an outfit, just b/c she didn't like the outfit. If it was b/c of an accident or something, no big deal, but just because you don't like it??? NOT a reason to change a baby that doesn't belong to you.
If the only issues at hand were the changing and the kissing, I'd be saying "whatever". The changing is a little weird no matter what, but on it's own - I wouldnt complain.
But w/ everything else at hand.... I find the changing weird and inappropriate. She doesn't seem to recognize boundaries and it's one more example of that.
Post by speckledfrog on Sept 10, 2012 13:52:47 GMT -5
If they are uncomfortable they should either say something or go elsewhere. The teacher sounds really weird.
As for the kissing, I kissed the kids when I taught in a child care center. Mostly I hugged them but occasionally I would kiss them on the cheek or hand. I always asked first (okay, toledo? ) and taught the children that kisses for teachers go on the cheek because they frequently wanted to give us kisses. Everyone gets really bonded when you spend that much time together and it's natural to be physically (appropriately) affectionate. I would hope that the parents of the kids in my class took it as a sign that their child was lovingly cared for while away from home.
However! If they (or anyone else) feels odd about another adult kissing their kiddo they should for sure say something.
Also, I never took pictures of the kiddos on my own camera. School stayed at school.
Post by vanillacourage on Sept 10, 2012 14:10:10 GMT -5
I would talk to the director and if the teacher wasn't moved to another room immediately I would pull my kid. Taking pics of the kid on her cell phone is really inappropriate (and she shouldn't have her cell phone out when kids are awake anyway). The cutting comment is also very strange.
Really though - there shouldn't be ANYTHING they feel uncomfortable talking about with the director when it comes to their daughter's safety. There are things that my DCP does that I'm not crazy about and I would do differently if it were me, but most things I let go because I also don't keep up with 8 infants at a time. But there have been one or two things that I felt were legit safety concerns and I immediately brought it to the teacher/director's attention and things were changed right away. If you can't talk to the director about a major safety concern, the center in general is not a good fit for the family.
The kissing wouldn't bother me, the changing of the outfit would irritate me, the "cutting myself" would be bizarro, but the pictures that haven't been shared...CREEPY! It is very "hand that rocks the cradle"
Yeah, the cutting comment would have me pulling the kid out fast. The onesie thing is weird.
The kissing thing is not weird to me. The lady that takes care of DS in the baby room sometimes kisses him on the cheek. It's never seemed strange to me.
Post by hankmoody on Sept 10, 2012 18:38:39 GMT -5
As a teacher, I have taken maybe a couple pics on my phone of kids, that I send to my email to use on our website or to print for the parents, then delete from my phone. I think it is weird to take pics of kids you work with to keep. I also hug and kiss (on the forehead) my kids (SD/ID and the parents are fine with it). However, I would never change a kids outfit because I didn't like it, I would never say something about injuring myself, and I would never be possessive of a kid to their parent. That is freaky. Get that baby out of there.