What are you all up to?

[Deleted]

It's slow as molasses over here. I miss hearing from you ladies. What's going on in your lives?

I'll give you a few updates on mine to get us started! Work has been kicking my ass. I thought this winter I'd be coasting after the election, but whelp, nope. I'm flying all over working on a lot of stuff, which is great, but incredibly stressful.

I've dated here and there. Met a few guys I thought would be great, but turned out to have some real issues so I was all "Bye Felicia!" I've been working with a fantastic therapist, meditating and doing yoga, replacing wine with edibles, and overall I'm feeling so much more balanced and calm! 

Also now that I've shed some of these guys taking up space in my head, I for the first time can actually imagine a guy in my future! I've always just been a debbie downer and pictured myself alone, but now I'm feeling pretty positive that I'm going to meet a healthy, stable, funny guy.

It's also been a year since I lost my beloved chihuahua Paco, and I'm ready to adopt. I'm planning to adopt in late January when my travel dies down.

[cuddlyevil]

Things are busy. Work isn't kicking my ass, but I'm busy and still in training. I love it so so much.

Haven't really dated much since the dude in August, but I wanted to focus on getting settled in the new job. THEN my schedule with the kids changed, so as of October I have the kids Sunday morning through Friday morning -- which means I have weekends! Now I just gotta find a guy who wants to keep talking to me or actually meet me :/

The man you all know as WG got married last weekend. He is over the moon and we're all happy for him. I'll get to meet her in a little over a week, should be entertaining.

Glad you're feeling more balanced @pdx18!

[nextbigthing]

I know, why is it so slow around here, is everyone just doing so great? If so tell us!!

My divorce is almost final. I went to mediation over custody yesterday and I'm happy with what we came up with. He has to do a soberlink breathalyzer at random times at all times not just when he has my son. If he fails or misses even one test all bets are off. My lawyer is typing up the final paperwork and then it has to just be filed with the court and we should be done very soon.

I started dating a new guy almost 3 months ago and it's going well. I really like him and I think he really likes me and neither of us is dating anyone else but we're still keeping it somewhat casual mainly until my divorce is final. We see each other about once a week but talk on the phone every night and text throughout the day. It's fun to feel pursued and he really is a nice guy I just don't want to get into anything major until my divorce is final.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Waiting to see what the next wrinkle from the court is ... I filed for my default TWO years ago and the court is scrutinizing everything bc I'm a pro per and xh is a no show. I realized they don't want me to screw him over but ummm read the police reports :l

I dated someone who up and ghosted me after 6-7 months and I've been seeing someone since Sept nothing exclusive and we try to see each other once a week but damn is it hard to do when you've got full custody.

[abcdefu]

Work has been crazy! During the week I get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, exercise then sleep! I'm actually exercising on my stationary bike right now! Lol! The scale hasn't budged, but I know I'm losing inches because my pants are getting longer! Short woman probs!

I have applied to so many jobs in so many different cities and have received nothing but rejection emails. I'm not giving up! I need to GTFO of here!

I am hoping one day that my whole life will come together. I definitely think I'm moving in the right direction.

[abcdefu]

pinkdutchtulips I hope everything goes smoothly and you can get divorced soon. Sorry about the ghoster! I still cannot understand why grown men do that! Cheers to a better year in 2017!

[redshoejune]

My work has been really terrible but I've decided I'm going to stick it out and try to have a better attitude.
My ex is awful but I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me much except when he's treating the kids badly. I expect a custody case in 2017 because he's been blustering about it for a while but I'm not going to worry about it yet.
Maybe I will date sonetime? It's been almost two years since the divorce and zero dates, but I've only tried sporadically.

[jenstar]

I am going good.. After 7 months of ridiculousness and stress we finally closed on the house we bought in March and moved in a month ago. I'm really loving it, especially being able to decorate however I want. It's perfect for DS and I.

XHs baby arrived while DS and I were away in October, that has been a bit weird tbh but not really anything to do with me. He missed the two siblings meeting for the first time because he's a dick.. of course.. I haven't figured out his girlfriend really and I think I'm at a point where I don't even care to anymore. XH asked about having DS more time next year which I'm not keen on but will wait and see what happens there. DS loves being a big brother, so far anyway.

I haven't dated anyone since the guy I was kind of seeing a year ago. I'm ok with that though, it's been a big year and I'm only now starting to feel settled for the first time in about 4 years, so maybe 2017 is my year!

[Linie]

I started a post-graduate program in corporate finance at my old university and, together with the Italian class I take, my life has gotten rather stressful.
The BF and I are doing well. I think we have found the key to a great relationship by keeping different apartments. We don't see each other on "school nights" and are so happy when we are together. He's also a very funny guy, so we're laughing a lot.
Work is so-so as I seem incapable to please my boss. She needs to correct everything! Mind, she's younger than me with more in-house experience, but I did spend 22 year in big law firms...
I want to focus on eating better and probably drinking a little less wine.
Oh, and the house is still not sold. I'm going to change the online advert and propose to XH to put a sign in the yard.

[Deleted]

I'm so glad to hear that everyone is doing pretty well! Let's try and keep this board alive!

[bg]

I started a new job in September. It's good to have a job and I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects of it, but it definitely won't be a long term position for me. With my new schedule I'm trying to keep up my exercise routine as well as seeing friends. So far it's going pretty well.

I've also been dating someone new since September. Things are great and he's definitely all in. After the train wreck that is my exH, it's nice to have normal.

[mousemelon2]

Hi. I'm new. Stbxh texted me that he filed for divorce on the same day he accused me of child abuse. That was a few months ago. I have sole custody now and have been doing really good. I go back to school to get my MBA next month and am staying with my mom until I finish school.

My little (almost 3) is in gymnastics and doing awesome. I'm thinking about soccer in the spring. Or some kind of organized sport because omg he needs an outlet for his energy.

No dating til the divorce is final but that should come soon. Not that I'm ready. At. All. I'm focusing on getting through my first Christmas alone.

[nextbigthing]

Dec 9, 2016 11:32:17 GMT -5 mousemelon2 said:

Hi. I'm new. Stbxh texted me that he filed for divorce on the same day he accused me of child abuse. That was a few months ago. I have sole custody now and have been doing really good. I go back to school to get my MBA next month and am staying with my mom until I finish school.

My little (almost 3) is in gymnastics and doing awesome. I'm thinking about soccer in the spring. Or some kind of organized sport because omg he needs an outlet for his energy.

No dating til the divorce is final but that should come soon. Not that I'm ready. At. All. I'm focusing on getting through my first Christmas alone.

Welcome!

[Deleted]

I can't believe I'm four years out from my divorce.

A guy that ghosted me after dating 6 months tried to friend me on facebook. I messaged him to not contact me again and I asked if he forgot what he did or that he lied to me about being single. He said he was truly sorry and that he won't contact me again. Ugh. He lives in Ireland and I live in California. WHY? What's the purpose? For me to give him attention? Stroke his ego? He got the wrong person for that shit.

I'm on the brink of a promotion and ANOTHER move. It feels good to be promoted and that I will likely move to a lower cost of living (thank goodness). It's weird because I want a kid in the next three to five years. And I have been contemplating sperm donation. Is that weird? I don't even mind being single. And I believe I can afford a kid on my own in a few years. And my next move I might buy a house. That'd be so nice (and scary!) to own and not just give someone money but "save" it technically by putting into an asset.

[llh0211]

Not to sound creepy, (especially since I know I've never been a super regular poster) but I was just randomly thinking of you, @pdx18. I'm dating a guy that's from Portland, and he's trying to get there this weekend, but the ice storm sounds & looks pretty intimidating. For whatever reason, it made me think of you.

Glad things seem to be going pretty well for everyone as well! As I mentioned, I've been dating a guy for the last 7 months. We've been taking things pretty slowly, which has been good. This is my first real relationship since my divorce nearly 5 years ago, and it's brought up issues that I thought I'd worked through.

Work is going okay. Lots of changes with my company. We were bought by another, bigger company earlier this year. I kind of see how things are shifting, and I feel like I need to get out while I can. So... I need to freshen up the resume, and all that fun stuff. Ugh. Job hunting is so overwhelming!

I got into a minor car accident earlier this week. No one was hurt, but my car was crunched, so I have a rental. Of course, it snows in Seattle when I have a car I'm not used to. Luckily, it was a champ, and I made it without any issues. Not much else going on here. Keeping busy with the fella and my friends & family. Life is pretty decent overall.

[sweetchix]

I've been seeing a guy I went to middle/high school with since August. It's been slow moving, no label yet, because he's got 4 kids, 2 of them FT. We were supposed to go out last weekend, but he couldn't get a sitter so we ended up meeting at a bounce house with the kids. DDs have met his 2 older ones before (before we went out for the first time) but met his younger 2 for the first time. They all had so much fun. He told me his kids were asking when we could do that again. Our kids don't know we'are dating, we just treated it like any other play date.

He mentioned me coming over on NYE, it's his DDs bday but when I told him I was sad I didn't have anything going on and didn't have DDs, he mentioned me coming over. We'll see if that happens though.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Dec 9, 2016 22:24:15 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I've been seeing a guy I went to middle/high school with since August. It's been slow moving, no label yet, because he's got 4 kids, 2 of them FT. We were supposed to go out last weekend, but he couldn't get a sitter so we ended up meeting at a bounce house with the kids. DDs have met his 2 older ones before (before we went out for the first time) but met his younger 2 for the first time. They all had so much fun. He told me his kids were asking when we could do that again. Our kids don't know we'are dating, we just treated it like any other play date.

He mentioned me coming over on NYE, it's his DDs bday but when I told him I was sad I didn't have anything going on and didn't have DDs, he mentioned me coming over. We'll see if that happens though.

sub college for middle/hs since September ... same slow moving, he's got 50% custody of 2 kids and is SUPER understanding of me having FT custody of mine. the kids haven't met yet (he just met my dogs the other night lol) but the dds have overlapping interests (Monster High) so we'll see where this goes - we've got plans to see each other again next weekend that's to dd's daycare's parents night out where i've got 3 hours w/o my kiddo and he doesn't have his that weekend

[idahome]

I've been focusing on work this year and it's really paid off. I got a promotion and a raise. I'm excited for the possibilities with my job in 2017.

I'm still married because it takes time to really be"done", but I know I am getting to that point. We don't act like a couple and I'm tired of not having a real partner. I'm making a plan for next year because I've told him I want a divorce, but he hasn't changed any of his behaviors. It's on me now and I need to take control and be an active participant in my life once again.

[dancelnow]

I'm almost at the point of telling kids that BF and I are dating. Right now they just know we're friends and sometimes hang out without the two of them. They love each other so that's working out great.

He and I are working through some differences in parenting styles and communication. Having so much of our communication through text has been difficult but with our work and kid schedules it was necessary.

Still waiting on STBXH to approve the asset split paperwork. We can officially file in February so I want any questions answered first.

And I just hung outdoor lights by myself for the first time. Ex had been promising them to DS for years now and it's been 3 years since he's done it. I really wanted to do it for DS. They won't look the best (hello 20' roof peak!) but I'm sure a 6yo will love it.

[RamblingRose]

I'm starting over again. Or not, because I have no desire to put myself through this kind of pain again. Anyway, I'm single after nearly 3 years with TL, and I'm a mess. See my threads on TIP if you haven't already read them.

[abcdefu]

I'm sorry you are hurting RamblingRose. I hope you are taking care of yourself and that you find some peace and comfort soon.

[statlerwaldorf]

We have been going through a rough patch. I think we are finally coming out of survival mode after having the twins. So we've been focusing on our relationship.

XH completed his batterer's intervention program and moved to a 4 hour unsupervised visit. He had the kids from 4 to 8 today and never fed them dinner. He also threatened to hit them and dumped ds1 with his girlfriend. Dd1 doesn't want to go back, so I need to talk to my lawyer on Monday.

[statlerwaldorf]

mousemelon2 My kids love soccer. It has been a really positive outlet for my daughter with adhd.

[thedutchgirl]

I have been seeing a really great guy since August, and things are starting to get serious. It was a total surprise to me--being interested in him and ready to date--but I really like him. I met some of his family this weekend. I'm really happy and happy with the changes I've made in my life this year.

[themoneytree]

I can't remember when I last updated.

STBX moved out a few weeks ago. It was and is a weird time.
I'm mostly ok with patches of awful. I've been getting out and about a lot and have had a lot of friends coming to hang out for the evening. I'm sure it will taper off with Christmas, but it's been nice to have the support and company.

Thanksgiving wasn't much fun because STBX took A away to his family so I was here alone. I did go to a friend's for Thanksgiving dinner, but it was lonely. I have Christmas and I think it will be ok. I feel pretty positive about it so far.

Nothing that exciting really. I'm liking my new housemore and more and feel safe and at home here which is a great relief.

My attorney has been in hospital so I STILL don't have a separation agreement, but I have an appointment on Wednesday. I'm going to have her execute the quit claim deed on the house and get everything we've agreed to down in writing. Fingers crossed it goes smoothly because I think we've done a fairly good job at agreeing to things so far. Fingers crossed it continues.

Money is divided and I have my portion in my own accounts.

I think I feel mostly hopeful.

[stephreloaded]

I have been working tons as usual and I was sick for most of September until they finally figured out that it was my gallbladder so that I had removed last month.

My life is boring and DD just left for her winter visitation. The only thing exciting in my future is that we are going to Cancún next month for a week.

I haven't dated in almost 2 years and not sure how I feel about it.

[glynn]

In January I will have been out of the house for a year. Seprated since May 2015.

Bought a house in November in which I was not planning on doing. I am so happy with it and it feels like home.

Trying to date but no having much luck. Part of my problem is I meet someone late April out of the blue that knocked my socks off. He does not want a relaionship and I do. We can't seem to quit each other and I know it is all bad. I met a gut in October that was giving me the attention and time I wanted but he has so many issues so I broke it off. We have be talking again and he came by my office today. It was nice to see him amd nice that someone wants to talk to me and spend time with me but his issues are more than I knew. He makes double what I do and is struggling. He has 2 kids one with FT custody and a x with lots of issues. He is a good guy but at this age I can't see struggling so much again. He has been divorced longer than I have been and is still not go it together. Lots of family drama. I have 2 kids grown and another with some issues and just don't want more. He knows about the other guy and I am not seeing either one of them currently but would see the first one if he asked and it makes me mad.

Work. I will be the highest in seniority come the 1st of the year which gets me nothing. Some tenions have been relieved when one person when to PT and another is retiring. The office is so peaceful when they are both gone even though it is more work because the new people are not fully trained and won't be for a year or so. This job takes time to learn...

My big kids are coming in for Christmas this weekend and I am so excited!!!!

[1confused1]

Not much going on here. I'm taking XH back to court next week to get his visitation modified and hopefully get child support garnished from his 401K.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, for the first time ever, I will not be with my kids on Christmas morning.    The court added a holiday schedule to our order that was not agreed upon.

I am not dating nor am I interested in dating right now.  

[jenstar]

Dec 13, 2016 15:15:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Not much going on here. I'm taking XH back to court next week to get his visitation modified and hopefully get child support garnished from his 401K.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, for the first time ever, I will not be with my kids on Christmas morning.    The court added a holiday schedule to our order that was not agreed upon.

I am not dating nor am I interested in dating right now.  

Sorry about Christmas 1confused1 that sucks. I think I might have the same this Christmas as xh will probably want to play happy families with the new baby, even though last year he was content to spend Christmas morning with his gf of 6ish weeks..

[1confused1]

Dec 13, 2016 18:25:15 GMT -5 jenstar said:

Dec 13, 2016 15:15:37 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Not much going on here. I'm taking XH back to court next week to get his visitation modified and hopefully get child support garnished from his 401K.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, for the first time ever, I will not be with my kids on Christmas morning.    The court added a holiday schedule to our order that was not agreed upon.

I am not dating nor am I interested in dating right now.  

Sorry about Christmas 1confused1 that sucks. I think I might have the same this Christmas as xh will probably want to play happy families with the new baby, even though last year he was content to spend Christmas morning with his gf of 6ish weeks..

Thanks, sorry for you too 😢