STBXH planning overseas trip

[dancelnow]

STBXH has been talking to some woman from Ghana online for months. He has plans apparently to visit her for 2 weeks in March. We should be finalized by then so he will completely be an ex. I still don't believe this woman is real and exactly who she says she is. But obviously I can't stop him. I just hope for the sake of our son I'm wrong. It's also terrible timing for me to be without backup care and have my son for 2 weeks straight because of work.

Funny, the whole time we were married he couldn't manage to plan us an overseas vacation like we talked about but he's somehow going to manage this.

[stephreloaded]

It sounds like a terrible terrible idea but that is his lesson to learn.

It does suck not having as a back up for childcare. Do you have any family or friends nearby that could help you out?

Also, people do change. Divorce takes people out of their comfort zone so it's not surprising that he is doing this now.

[cuddlyevil]

Being without backup stinks, do you have family or friends to help out?

Unfortunately, this is a lesson he needs to learn on his own. But who knows, she could be exactly what he says. Just be glad you're outside of the drama zone.

[stephreloaded]

Oh and I have something to add. Unless this affects your child then stay out of his personal life. I don't thing it does any good to know all this stuff about his love life. If he ever offers this type of info, just tell him that this should be private and keep that type of conversations to a minimum.

Of course it hurts you and your feelings are completely normal but you need to protect your feelings.

[dancelnow]

Jan 2, 2017 11:07:07 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Oh and I have something to add. Unless this affects your child then stay out of his personal life. I don't thing it does any good to know all this stuff about his love life. If he ever offers this type of info, just tell him that this should be private and keep that type of conversations to a minimum.

Of course it hurts you and your feelings are completely normal but you need to protect your feelings.

I don't care about it from a romantic position, but I do from a practical that if something happens to him or he's extensively scammed it's going to impact jointly raising our kid. And he's still a fellow decent human that I don't want to see scammed.

No family within 8 hours. I do have a few friends here to can help in the evenings but if something happens a during the workday I may not be accessible due to working in a plant.

[kicks]

Jan 2, 2017 11:20:50 GMT -5 dancelnow said:

Jan 2, 2017 11:07:07 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Oh and I have something to add. Unless this affects your child then stay out of his personal life. I don't thing it does any good to know all this stuff about his love life. If he ever offers this type of info, just tell him that this should be private and keep that type of conversations to a minimum.

Of course it hurts you and your feelings are completely normal but you need to protect your feelings.

I don't care about it from a romantic position, but I do from a practical that if something happens to him or he's extensively scammed it's going to impact jointly raising our kid. And he's still a fellow decent human that I don't want to see scammed.

No family within 8 hours. I do have a few friends here to can help in the evenings but if something happens a during the workday I may not be accessible due to working in a plant.

Maybe I'm missing some background, but why do you think he might be getting extensively scammed?

[cuddlyevil]

I appreciate your concern on the practical side, it really isn't anything you have any control over. The best you can do is make sure that you have a solid foundation for you and your kiddo. If your xh gets scammed, there isn't much you can do beyond saying "oh that sucks". It's his choice.

[dancelnow]

Jan 2, 2017 13:09:55 GMT -5 kicks said:

Jan 2, 2017 11:20:50 GMT -5 dancelnow said:

I don't care about it from a romantic position, but I do from a practical that if something happens to him or he's extensively scammed it's going to impact jointly raising our kid. And he's still a fellow decent human that I don't want to see scammed.

No family within 8 hours. I do have a few friends here to can help in the evenings but if something happens a during the workday I may not be accessible due to working in a plant.

Maybe I'm missing some background, but why do you think he might be getting extensively scammed?

From the little he's told me, it fits a typical scam profile. Hopefully it's not, but he also fits the target profile so I'm not feeling good about it

[redshoejune]

Jan 2, 2017 8:41:58 GMT -5 dancelnow said:

Funny, the whole time we were married he couldn't manage to plan us an overseas vacation like we talked about but he's somehow going to manage this.

My x is like this and it makes me so mad. We rarely went anywhere and when we occasionally did for a couple days close to home he complained the whole time.
A few months after he moved out he found someone else and they've been all over the country, to Alaska, Mexico, Europe etc, and then got married all within 18 months after he left. Meanwhile I go nowhere, have no extra money, and get used as free babysitting.

But I will say, you get used to kid free time. And holiday schedules are very important. Include transportation! We have in our agreement who gets the kids and when, but it was not totally clear for holidays who was supposed to do drop off/pick up and where, and it led to some drama on new years.

[kicks]

Jan 2, 2017 16:43:14 GMT -5 dancelnow said:

Jan 2, 2017 13:09:55 GMT -5 kicks said:

Maybe I'm missing some background, but why do you think he might be getting extensively scammed?

From the little he's told me, it fits a typical scam profile. Hopefully it's not, but he also fits the target profile so I'm not feeling good about it

I guess I don't know the typical scam profile.

Hopefully things work out just fine.