what are the "rules" of hosting a shower?

[jennlin]

i have a friend who's mom/MIL/sister are hosting a baby shower...h saw the invitation, and he said "aren't moms not allowed to host showers?" and i really don't remember. i think moms are not supposed to host bridal showers...but is baby shower the same way? and does MIL count as mom hosting?

[tacocat]

My mom and I did for my sister in law. No one seemed to mind but I don't know. No help here I guess

[Deleted]

No clue, but my mom hosted my bridal shower.

*runs and hides from the etiquette police*

[InBetweenDays]

The only hard and fast rule I know is not to host your own But seriously I wouldn't think twice about a mom hosting a bridal or baby shower (but I'm certainly no expert on etiquette).

[mkate710]

Hardcore tradition says mom can't host a shower. I don't know about MILs. But how many people stick to tradition like that?

My mom adamantly refused to host a bridal shower for me because she "wasn't allowed to". So she made my MOH "host" a 2nd shower (she didn't have time to make the original one my MOH planned) at her house, and told MOH how she wanted everything done. But she kept making a stink about "oh, but MOH is in charge". My poor sweet saint of an MOH. It was pretty obnoxious. I feel like she should have just violated tradition, the way she handled things was way more tacky than a mom hosting a shower.

[jennlin]

Sept 11, 2012 10:16:17 GMT -5 mkate710 said:

Hardcore tradition says mom can't host a shower. I don't know about MILs. But how many people stick to tradition like that?

apparently my h does

[madDawg228]

The etiquette police would judge a mom/sister/MIL hosting a bridal/baby shower. But I think it's generally okay. Ditto others on not hosting your own shower.

[picksthemusic]

My MIL hosted ours. I don't see the issue with a baby shower being hosted by a mom.

[macpanda]

Similar question....if someone wants to host a co-ed baby shower at your own house/the soon to be be parents house but the invitation would be from the host..is that alright by ettiquette? I know a few people who have done something similar to this.

[niq]

The etiquette police are dumb on this one. I think moms aren't supposed to host because it makes it look like the family needs gifts in order to support the baby. But f*** it, everyone knows it takes a village.

[karebear219]

Sept 11, 2012 12:16:45 GMT -5 macpanda said:

Similar question....if someone wants to host a co-ed baby shower at your own house/the soon to be be parents house but the invitation would be from the host..is that alright by ettiquette? I know a few people who have done something similar to this.

I think the ediquette police would frown at this too, but I know my H hosted his own man shower BUT he did spend at least $100 dollars on food and spent all day smoking spare ribs on the grill, so I don't think anyone cared. He also didn't except gifts, but most of the guys brought them.

[Deleted]

I think its old school rules (or maybe East coast?) but definitely never heard of it on the West Coast.

[jennlin]

Sept 11, 2012 12:20:53 GMT -5 niq said:

The etiquette police are dumb on this one. I think moms aren't supposed to host because it makes it look like the family needs gifts in order to support the baby. But f*** it, everyone knows it takes a village.

lol, i agree. and not only does it take a village, most people enjoy buying baby gifts....at least i do, and would buy gifts regardless of a shower or not........the people who don't enjoy buying gifts probably shouldn't be invited to a shower?

Sept 11, 2012 12:16:45 GMT -5 macpanda said:

Similar question....if someone wants to host a co-ed baby shower at your own house/the soon to be be parents house but the invitation would be from the host..is that alright by ettiquette? I know a few people who have done something similar to this.

i think technically, it's okay...but i still don't think it's perfectly acceptable yet. i think it makes total sense..that way nothing needs to be transported back...but it really doesn't sit right with me. i wouldn't out right judge anyone, and i'd still happily participate, but i still feel like it's slightly off.

[Deleted]

Sept 11, 2012 12:31:13 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Sept 11, 2012 12:20:53 GMT -5 niq said:

The etiquette police are dumb on this one. I think moms aren't supposed to host because it makes it look like the family needs gifts in order to support the baby. But f*** it, everyone knows it takes a village.

lol, i agree. and not only does it take a village, most people enjoy buying baby gifts....at least i do, and would buy gifts regardless of a shower or not........the people who don't enjoy buying gifts probably shouldn't be invited to a shower?

I enjoy buying baby gifts if it's doesn't involve going to Babies R Us.

Jenn, I hope you know how much I love you because I went to BRU for you during Xmas season.