Sunday Randoms

[Deleted]

How's everyone doing after the first week of the new year? I started a blog on cooking as single person and I'm pretty shocked by the interest from my friends even those who are not single. It's been a fun hobby!

It snowed here so I've been stuck inside for the weekend which has been kind of nice actually! I got a pot roast in the slow cooker and getting ready to do a work out video. How is everyone's weekend going?

[nextbigthing]

I feel like things are going downhill with the guy after our talk last week, but I honestly cant tell.

It just seems weird, we hung out Friday night, went and had a few beers, it would normally be super flirty and fun, but it was off, not bad, just off. I did stay the night and we had sex and that was better, we talked a lot and had a good night, it's just hard to tell.

I'm such an over analyzer (I'm working with my therapist on this), I just hate that what was great a week ago now seems weird. Maybe that means it's just not meant to be. He's supposed to come over one night this week, I think I'll see how that goes then decide if I want to end it.

I hate dating. I always say I wish I could just fast forward to the nice stable part, I'm really good in relationships and I was good at being married (just not to an alcoholic), I don't think Im bad at dating, I just don't like all the unknown.

[nextbigthing]

I'm sorry mommadukes

@pdx18 that's very cool about the blog, I would love to do stuff like that. What workout videos do you like to do? I've been looking for some new stuff

[Deleted]

Sorry to both of you. I know the feeling of being dumped out of the blue and it sucks. nextbigthing I find that my gut is usually right in these situations. I tend to back off of initiating communications and plans in these situations and see if they pick it up. If they don't then I usually have my answer.

Dating really is a pain and I think there is less and less desire for relationships in hook up culture. I wish there was a website for people who were actually serious about finding a relationship but I'm sure people aren't serious would still work their way in.

[nextbigthing]

Jan 8, 2017 16:09:51 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I tend to back off of initiating communications and plans in these situations and see if they pick it up. If they don't then I usually have my answer.




This was exactly my plan. I did text him today and he texted right back and we texted a bit, but I think I'm going to cool it, if he comes over this week I may just ask him how he feels, if he's not into it, I'd rather just know.

[Deleted]

mommadukes what they want isn't important. It's about what YOU want. Every man is gonna be different. Some will be open to dating someone with kids, others won't. I think we often get to wrapped up in what others want and don't stop to think about what WE want.

[Eureka1984]

Congrats on the blog PDX! I'm doing well. I've decided that I'm taking a break from dating. I need to re group and focus on me some since the last guy I dated ended up having some drama.

[nextbigthing]

Jan 8, 2017 16:49:20 GMT -5 mommadukes said:

Jan 8, 2017 16:09:51 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Sorry to both of you. I know the feeling of being dumped out of the blue and it sucks. nextbigthing I find that my gut is usually right in these situations. I tend to back off of initiating communications and plans in these situations and see if they pick it up. If they don't then I usually have my answer.

Dating really is a pain and I think there is less and less desire for relationships in hook up culture. I wish there was a website for people who were actually serious about finding a relationship but I'm sure people aren't serious would still work their way in.

I've known the guy for so long. his communication is awful. i truly thought this was going to be a real thing but I was wrong apparently. i Def don't want to go online and date. but I really want to know at my age, 38 and older, what do guys want? since I have kids do I look for someone eventually that was already married and has kids? this is so hard

I'm 37 and have custody all but 3 hours/week and feel the exact same way, this guy I'm dating is awful at communication, I'm always guessing. I just want a nice, honest guy that wants me and DS too.

Just wanted to reply with commisseration and hugs, I get it.

[1confused1]

I go back to work and the kids go back to school tomorrow after being off since December 23, this is going to be rough!

We've had such a nice break, spent some time up in the snow, some time with friends, I'm sad it's over.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 8, 2017 17:48:55 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 8, 2017 16:49:20 GMT -5 mommadukes said:

I've known the guy for so long. his communication is awful. i truly thought this was going to be a real thing but I was wrong apparently. i Def don't want to go online and date. but I really want to know at my age, 38 and older, what do guys want? since I have kids do I look for someone eventually that was already married and has kids? this is so hard

I'm 37 and have custody all but 3 hours/week and feel the exact same way, this guy I'm dating is awful at communication, I'm always guessing. I just want a nice, honest guy that wants me and DS too.

Just wanted to reply with commisseration and hugs, I get it.

full 24/7 custody and 42 years old ..... dating has been a roller coaster. rare is the guy who will honestly tell you that he's not interested, far more common is the one will just ghost you.

why is it SO HARD to find a nice relatively normal guy who would want a relationship with me ?!? i've got ALOT to offer but absolutely no takers it seems ??

[pinkdutchtulips]

what started off good (3 guys interested in me and a guy who i had seen 5-6x since early September *nothing exclusive*) has ended horribly ....

i'm wondering what it is about me that just screams "ghost me" ?? one guy ok, but that many, in such a short amount of time WTH ?!? i'm most mystified by the ghosting from the guy had i been seeing casually since Sept. like i'm not worth an explanation ?

to top it off my sister is expecting again, kid #3, she's got the perfect hubs, perfect in-laws and my mom will drop EVERYTHING to help her. of course she can have kid #3 while some of us had to stop at one or else risk losing our sanity altogether bc they live in opposite world.

[nextbigthing]

Jan 8, 2017 20:47:02 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

what started off good (3 guys interested in me and a guy who i had seen 5-6x since early September *nothing exclusive*) has ended horribly ....

i'm wondering what it is about me that just screams "ghost me" ?? one guy ok, but that many, in such a short amount of time WTH ?!? i'm most mystified by the ghosting from the guy had i been seeing casually since Sept. like i'm not worth an explanation ?

to top it off my sister is expecting again, kid #3, she's got the perfect hubs, perfect in-laws and my mom will drop EVERYTHING to help her. of course she can have kid #3 while some of us had to stop at one or else risk losing our sanity altogether bc they live in opposite world.

Hugs, I wish we lived in the same city, I'd invite you to happy hour to drink and commisserate! I'm pretty sure I scared off the guy I've talked to every day since September and seen about once a week because I asked what we were. Now I'm afraid I'll never be willing to go out on that limb again.

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2017 21:31:14 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 8, 2017 20:47:02 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

what started off good (3 guys interested in me and a guy who i had seen 5-6x since early September *nothing exclusive*) has ended horribly ....

i'm wondering what it is about me that just screams "ghost me" ?? one guy ok, but that many, in such a short amount of time WTH ?!? i'm most mystified by the ghosting from the guy had i been seeing casually since Sept. like i'm not worth an explanation ?

to top it off my sister is expecting again, kid #3, she's got the perfect hubs, perfect in-laws and my mom will drop EVERYTHING to help her. of course she can have kid #3 while some of us had to stop at one or else risk losing our sanity altogether bc they live in opposite world.

Hugs, I wish we lived in the same city, I'd invite you to happy hour to drink and commisserate! I'm pretty sure I scared off the guy I've talked to every day since September and seen about once a week because I asked what we were. Now I'm afraid I'll never be willing to go out on that limb again.

If that scares him off then he wasn't worth your time. The phrase if he likes you you'll know, if he doesn't you'll be confused has been a phrase that brings me a lot of clarity. Early months of dating should be easy. Also I think ghosting is becoming the norm rather than the exception sadly. I don't think it's anything about you pinkdutchtulips it happens with alarming frequency among myself and my friends.

[abcdefu]

It's no longer Sunday, but here are my randoms:

This year was supposed to be my healthy year and I received a call from my gyno that my ps came back abnormal. I had to have a colposcopy and 3 biopsies to see if I have cervical cancer. I'm trying not to be negative, but it's so hard with everything I've been through. This 3 week wait has been torture. I go back this Thursday to get the results. FML

Also, I'm really struggling in my job search. I feel like I need to get certified, or go back to school. The problem is I think I'm lazy, or depressed, or both. I am tired all the time and really stressed to my max. If I can't motivate myself to study for my cert test, how the hell am I going to go back to school?

I'm sorry for everyone who is having a shit time dating. It can be a real crapshute. ((hugs))

[nextbigthing]

Jan 9, 2017 8:23:32 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

It's no longer Sunday, but here are my randoms:

This year was supposed to be my healthy year and I received a call from my gyno that my ps came back abnormal. I had to have a colposcopy and 3 biopsies to see if I have cervical cancer. I'm trying not to be negative, but it's so hard with everything I've been through. This 3 week wait has been torture. I go back this Thursday to get the results. FML

Also, I'm really struggling in my job search. I feel like I need to get certified, or go back to school. The problem is I think I'm lazy, or depressed, or both. I am tired all the time and really stressed to my max. If I can't motivate myself to study for my cert test, how the hell am I going to go back to school?

I'm sorry for everyone who is having a shit time dating. It can be a real crapshute. ((hugs))

Lots of t&p for good test results, keep us posted!  I had an abnormal one a few years ago and it was fine, hopefully the same will happen for you.

[Deleted]

Think of you abcdefu! I had the same issue and while scary it all turned out okay.

[Linie]

Jan 9, 2017 8:23:32 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

It's no longer Sunday, but here are my randoms:

This year was supposed to be my healthy year and I received a call from my gyno that my ps came back abnormal. I had to have a colposcopy and 3 biopsies to see if I have cervical cancer. I'm trying not to be negative, but it's so hard with everything I've been through. This 3 week wait has been torture. I go back this Thursday to get the results. FML

Also, I'm really struggling in my job search. I feel like I need to get certified, or go back to school. The problem is I think I'm lazy, or depressed, or both. I am tired all the time and really stressed to my max. If I can't motivate myself to study for my cert test, how the hell am I going to go back to school?

I'm sorry for everyone who is having a shit time dating. It can be a real crapshute. ((hugs))

I had a similar problem 15 years ago and after laser treatment, everything has been fine. Keeping my fingers crossed!

[abcdefu]

Thank you ladies! I'm glad I reached out to you because I've only told my mom what has been going on. It makes me feel better that you've had similar but okay experiences. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's nothing and the rest of the year will be uneventful!

[jenstar]

Jan 9, 2017 11:49:04 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

Thank you ladies! I'm glad I reached out to you because I've only told my mom what has been going on. It makes me feel better that you've had similar but okay experiences. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's nothing and the rest of the year will be uneventful!

Sorry abcdefu, that's shit and I really hope it's nothing. x

My sister has been horribly sick with lyme disease for a number of years and over the same time has had several abnormal pap tests and biopsies etc, then right before Christmas her doctor told her that she has precancerous cells and will need a hysterectomy.. she was devastated, she's 43 and hasn't had any kids but always hoped it would happen when she's better. I know she feels the same way, like wtf world, when do I just get a break!?! (hugs)

Thankfully she saw the gyn oncologist a few days later who said she didn't think there was a reason to do something so drastic.. thanks for nothing other doctor. 

[abcdefu]

Jan 9, 2017 18:32:23 GMT -5 jenstar said:

Jan 9, 2017 11:49:04 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

Thank you ladies! I'm glad I reached out to you because I've only told my mom what has been going on. It makes me feel better that you've had similar but okay experiences. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it's nothing and the rest of the year will be uneventful!

Sorry abcdefu, that's shit and I really hope it's nothing. x

My sister has been horribly sick with lyme disease for a number of years and over the same time has had several abnormal pap tests and biopsies etc, then right before Christmas her doctor told her that she has precancerous cells and will need a hysterectomy.. she was devastated, she's 43 and hasn't had any kids but always hoped it would happen when she's better. I know she feels the same way, like wtf world, when do I just get a break!?! (hugs)

Thankfully she saw the gyn oncologist a few days later who said she didn't think there was a reason to do something so drastic.. thanks for nothing other doctor. 

Thank you for sharing. I finally got myself well enough to catch up on normal care such as gyno and dentist, wellness visits. I never expected it to turn into something. I can definitely empathize with your sister. It just feels like there is always something, but it's never like a splinter or a broken nail. Either way it turns out I just have to KOKO.

[stephreloaded]

Jan 8, 2017 12:45:23 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

How's everyone doing after the first week of the new year? I started a blog on cooking as single person and I'm pretty shocked by the interest from my friends even those who are not single. It's been a fun hobby!

It snowed here so I've been stuck inside for the weekend which has been kind of nice actually! I got a pot roast in the slow cooker and getting ready to do a work out video. How is everyone's weekend going?

Can you share? I am interested in cooking a lot more this year. 

I have reasonably well for the last 2 weeks so I hope it sticks!

[stephreloaded]

I am going on vacation to Cancun later this week. I hadn't really planned it that much but decided to do it on a whim even if that meant being a bit tight on money for the month. Then my car was hit at my building parking lot and today I wake up with a fraudulent charge on my DEBIT card.

[Deleted]

Jan 10, 2017 11:07:45 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

I am going on vacation to Cancun later this week. I hadn't really planned it that much but decided to do it on a whim even if that meant being a bit tight on money for the month. Then my car was hit at my building parking lot and today I wake up with a fraudulent charge on my DEBIT card.

You bet! It's www.thedelicioussingle.com I JUST started so I'm not in a great rountine with posting yet, but I will have a new one up today or tomorrow.

[sweetchix]

Jan 8, 2017 17:48:55 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 8, 2017 16:49:20 GMT -5 mommadukes said:

I've known the guy for so long. his communication is awful. i truly thought this was going to be a real thing but I was wrong apparently. i Def don't want to go online and date. but I really want to know at my age, 38 and older, what do guys want? since I have kids do I look for someone eventually that was already married and has kids? this is so hard

I'm 37 and have custody all but 3 hours/week and feel the exact same way, this guy I'm dating is awful at communication, I'm always guessing. I just want a nice, honest guy that wants me and DS too.

Just wanted to reply with commisseration and hugs, I get it.

I missed this on Sunday, but I just wanted to commiserate with this. I've been seeing J since August, but it's been extreeeeeemely slow moving. He has 2 of his 4 kids full-time so it's hard to get together. That alone wouldn't bother me so much if he would just keep in touch in between. I feel like I'm the one who reaches out 90% of the time. Are guys really that horrible at communication?

ETA: relevant info- I'm 40 with 50/50 custody. He's 40 with full custody of his 2 oldest and 50/50 with his 2 youngest. He has a very odd schedule with the younger 2 which he's explained to me twice but I still don't get it.

mommadukes

[nextbigthing]

Jan 10, 2017 23:34:46 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jan 8, 2017 17:48:55 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

I'm 37 and have custody all but 3 hours/week and feel the exact same way, this guy I'm dating is awful at communication, I'm always guessing. I just want a nice, honest guy that wants me and DS too.

Just wanted to reply with commisseration and hugs, I get it.

I missed this on Sunday, but I just wanted to commiserate with this. I've been seeing J since August, but it's been extreeeeeemely slow moving. He has 2 of his 4 kids full-time so it's hard to get together. That alone wouldn't bother me so much if he would just keep in touch in between. I feel like I'm the one who reaches out 90% of the time. Are guys really that horrible at communication?

ETA: relevant info- I'm 40 with 50/50 custody. He's 40 with full custody of his 2 oldest and 50/50 with his 2 youngest. He has a very odd schedule with the younger 2 which he's explained to me twice but I still don't get it.

mommadukes

I will say I pulled waaaaaay back from the communication to him, like pretty much none, and he's jumped all over it, the good morning texts, how's your day, calling at night. Who knows, but I'm going back to letting him chase me, will see how it goes. I am really thinking he's not for me long term, but he's a fun distraction from my never ending divorce

[sweetchix]

Jan 11, 2017 10:29:16 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 10, 2017 23:34:46 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I missed this on Sunday, but I just wanted to commiserate with this. I've been seeing J since August, but it's been extreeeeeemely slow moving. He has 2 of his 4 kids full-time so it's hard to get together. That alone wouldn't bother me so much if he would just keep in touch in between. I feel like I'm the one who reaches out 90% of the time. Are guys really that horrible at communication?

ETA: relevant info- I'm 40 with 50/50 custody. He's 40 with full custody of his 2 oldest and 50/50 with his 2 youngest. He has a very odd schedule with the younger 2 which he's explained to me twice but I still don't get it.

mommadukes

I will say I pulled waaaaaay back from the communication to him, like pretty much none, and he's jumped all over it, the good morning texts, how's your day, calling at night. Who knows, but I'm going back to letting him chase me, will see how it goes. I am really thinking he's not for me long term, but he's a fun distraction from my never ending divorce

I've stepped back a couple times as well, usually when I start to question whether or not I think he wants to keep seeing me, and then that's the time her surprises me with a text or says/does something when we're together that makes it seem like he *does* want to be with me. Problem is, he hasn't even kissed me yet. Not even a move. So then I think maybe he just wants to be friends. I've been trying to plan it so we are both kid-free and someplace where we can talk about what we are/what we want from this. Not a conversation I really want to have at Texas Roadhouse or a bowling alley, but at this rate, and for my own sanity at time, I think it may have to do. I really like him, and he seems to really like me. He truly does feel bad that we can't go out more often. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm ok with this, am I ok only seeing him every 2-3 weeks. If there were more communication on his side? Then absolutely. This nothing or minimal communication in between is when the questions and doubts start rolling through my head. Hoping to be able to get out this Friday. He's kid-free, but I'm not . Trying to get a sleepover set up for DDs but I probably won't know until that day.

[bullygirl979]

@pdx18, congrats on the blog! I just subscribed

[doriswe]

Jan 11, 2017 10:40:07 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jan 11, 2017 10:29:16 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

I will say I pulled waaaaaay back from the communication to him, like pretty much none, and he's jumped all over it, the good morning texts, how's your day, calling at night. Who knows, but I'm going back to letting him chase me, will see how it goes. I am really thinking he's not for me long term, but he's a fun distraction from my never ending divorce

I've stepped back a couple times as well, usually when I start to question whether or not I think he wants to keep seeing me, and then that's the time her surprises me with a text or says/does something when we're together that makes it seem like he *does* want to be with me. Problem is, he hasn't even kissed me yet. Not even a move. So then I think maybe he just wants to be friends. I've been trying to plan it so we are both kid-free and someplace where we can talk about what we are/what we want from this. Not a conversation I really want to have at Texas Roadhouse or a bowling alley, but at this rate, and for my own sanity at time, I think it may have to do. I really like him, and he seems to really like me. He truly does feel bad that we can't go out more often. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm ok with this, am I ok only seeing him every 2-3 weeks. If there were more communication on his side? Then absolutely. This nothing or minimal communication in between is when the questions and doubts start rolling through my head. Hoping to be able to get out this Friday. He's kid-free, but I'm not . Trying to get a sleepover set up for DDs but I probably won't know until that day.

Are you dating other people also?

Honestly, I don't think this is what you need in your life.  There is no reason you two couldn't have phone conversations to keep that communication going regularly so you wouldn't have to wonder.  And people with kids get sitters all the time. You both could work it out if you wanted to. I think him not doing these things is him telling you he is not willing to give 100% to this...and you deserve someone who would move heaven and earth to see you regularly.  His kid schedule will probably never change, so are you really willing to settle for that sort of infrequent contact?

[nextbigthing]

Jan 11, 2017 10:40:07 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jan 11, 2017 10:29:16 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

I will say I pulled waaaaaay back from the communication to him, like pretty much none, and he's jumped all over it, the good morning texts, how's your day, calling at night. Who knows, but I'm going back to letting him chase me, will see how it goes. I am really thinking he's not for me long term, but he's a fun distraction from my never ending divorce

I've stepped back a couple times as well, usually when I start to question whether or not I think he wants to keep seeing me, and then that's the time her surprises me with a text or says/does something when we're together that makes it seem like he *does* want to be with me. Problem is, he hasn't even kissed me yet. Not even a move. So then I think maybe he just wants to be friends. I've been trying to plan it so we are both kid-free and someplace where we can talk about what we are/what we want from this. Not a conversation I really want to have at Texas Roadhouse or a bowling alley, but at this rate, and for my own sanity at time, I think it may have to do. I really like him, and he seems to really like me. He truly does feel bad that we can't go out more often. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm ok with this, am I ok only seeing him every 2-3 weeks. If there were more communication on his side? Then absolutely. This nothing or minimal communication in between is when the questions and doubts start rolling through my head. Hoping to be able to get out this Friday. He's kid-free, but I'm not . Trying to get a sleepover set up for DDs but I probably won't know until that day.

How often do you talk on the phone? Has he made any affectionate moves or comments at all? At this point I'd think there should at least be some smooching.

It's hard when you feel like they aren't all in but you want to be (although I'm not sure what I want anymore(

[sweetchix]

Jan 11, 2017 16:01:25 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 11, 2017 10:40:07 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I've stepped back a couple times as well, usually when I start to question whether or not I think he wants to keep seeing me, and then that's the time her surprises me with a text or says/does something when we're together that makes it seem like he *does* want to be with me. Problem is, he hasn't even kissed me yet. Not even a move. So then I think maybe he just wants to be friends. I've been trying to plan it so we are both kid-free and someplace where we can talk about what we are/what we want from this. Not a conversation I really want to have at Texas Roadhouse or a bowling alley, but at this rate, and for my own sanity at time, I think it may have to do. I really like him, and he seems to really like me. He truly does feel bad that we can't go out more often. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm ok with this, am I ok only seeing him every 2-3 weeks. If there were more communication on his side? Then absolutely. This nothing or minimal communication in between is when the questions and doubts start rolling through my head. Hoping to be able to get out this Friday. He's kid-free, but I'm not . Trying to get a sleepover set up for DDs but I probably won't know until that day.

How often do you talk on the phone? Has he made any affectionate moves or comments at all? At this point I'd think there should at least be some smooching.

It's hard when you feel like they aren't all in but you want to be (although I'm not sure what I want anymore(

I hate talking on the phone. To anyone. We've talked on the phone twice. We usually text.

He hugs me. Kisses me on the cheek. We flirt. But that's been it so far. My thought is that he's moving slow because A) his failed relationships in the past. But I'm just guessing. Or, B) maybe he does consider us just friends. But I really don't think so. I'm thinking more A.