Update on crazy stbxh

[nextbigthing]

As part of our mediation a month ago, stbxh signed HIPPA release forms for me to go have a meeting with his psychologist to hear how he's doing (he's been in rehab for alcoholism 3 times in 5 months, claimed to have been sober for 2 months).

I went and met with the doctor thinking I'd hear decent info.

She told me stbxh was in there drunk two weeks ago and has no business supervising a child. What the what? She said he is very unstable. I was very surprised, he also has lied to her a lot we discovered. My attorney is on it, but I'm just not sure how to deal with this. We're going to have to subpoena the records and file for sole custody.

I don't want to be married to him but I was hoping he would get it together so DS could have his dad.

Not sure what I'm looking for, but if anyone has any thoughts or advice I could use it.

[1confused1]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I have full custody of my kids and my xh has supervised visitation.

If you want him involved in your kid's life, you can ask for supervised visitation. Personally I wouldn't want my kid around him until he can remain sober.

[nextbigthing]

Jan 11, 2017 22:07:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I have full custody of my kids and my xh has supervised visitation.

If you want him involved in your kid's life, you can ask for supervised visitation. Personally I wouldn't want my kid around him until he can remain sober.

He has supervised visitation now and he's starting a court mandated soberlink breathalyzer but I don't think it's enough. He's so sneaky! The debate now is I want the breathalyzer all the time, he only wants when he has DS (of course)

[pinkdutchtulips]

I was awarded full legal and physical custody w ZERO visitation to xh when I got my RO against him - 4 psyche holds in 6 wks, CPS involvement, not to mention violent towards me in front of then barely 4 yo dd.

The last time dd saw him was when he was arrested once again for violating the RO and that was in 8/2014. The mere mention of his name makes her anxious. I'm in no rush and I don't have the desire to change the custody order as long as he continues to use (and yes he still is :/). Nope.

On one hand FULL custody makes everything easier bc there's no co-parenting involved. The downside .... co-parenting isn't even your radar which means zero relationship bt your ds and his dad.

Best of luck to you and you CAN do this ! Stay focused and stay strong !

Yes - HE has to want to get it together enough for himself before any lasting change will occur, wanting it for the sake of your kids isn't enough. I'd love for dd to have a relationship w her dad but until he can stay clean and sober on a consistent basis that would be a hard NO !

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 11, 2017 23:42:39 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

Jan 11, 2017 22:07:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

I have full custody of my kids and my xh has supervised visitation.

If you want him involved in your kid's life, you can ask for supervised visitation. Personally I wouldn't want my kid around him until he can remain sober.

He has supervised visitation now and he's starting a court mandated soberlink breathalyzer but I don't think it's enough. He's so sneaky! The debate now is I want the breathalyzer all the time, he only wants when he has DS (of course)

are you prepared to withhold visits if he flunks the breathalyzer ? After how many fails would you to revoke even supervised visitation ?

[nextbigthing]

Jan 12, 2017 2:57:16 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Jan 11, 2017 23:42:39 GMT -5 nextbigthing said:

He has supervised visitation now and he's starting a court mandated soberlink breathalyzer but I don't think it's enough. He's so sneaky! The debate now is I want the breathalyzer all the time, he only wants when he has DS (of course)

are you prepared to withhold visits if he flunks the breathalyzer ? After how many fails would you to revoke even supervised visitation ?

The way it's written in the MSA and decree, if he fails even one test, all visitation is immediately suspended and he has to pay me $2500 for legal fees

[glynn]

Good luck this is hard. You ned to do what you feel is best for your kid.....