I can break it off with T over the phone, right?

[Bernadine]

Tonight's the night. We've been seeing each other for about 3 months. I like him, I have a nice time with him, but there's not enough of a spark. I don't have enough fun with him.

Do people really want to be broken up with in person?

[starburst604]

I vote for in person too. Do you think he senses it's coming?

[dakotadangerdog]

I'm a huge puss. I say I think phone is okay, because honestly I would let shit drag out another month if I really had to do it in person. My last LTR was 9 months and I broke up with the dude over the phone. Mostly because he knew something was off and called and was asking what was wrong, so I told him. I never saw him in person or talked to him again after that conversation.

[Bernadine]

Really? In person? He's super quiet, and I feel like it would be more awkward for him in person. I don't think he'll ask any questions, but I would answer any he had.

No, I don't think he sees it coming. And we don't have any immediate plans to see each other. And he lives an hour away. I wouldn't want to do it in public, and what, would I drive to his apartment just to break up with him and leave?

I really have no idea. Xh is the only break up I've experienced in the last 14 years.

[starryfish]

Sept 11, 2012 11:39:28 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Really? In person? He's super quiet, and I feel like it would be more awkward for him in person. I don't think he'll ask any questions, but I would answer any he had.

No, I don't think he sees it coming. And we don't have any immediate plans to see each other. And he lives an hour away. I wouldn't want to do it in public, and what, would I drive to his apartment just to break up with him and leave?

I really have no idea. Xh is the only break up I've experienced in the last 14 years.

Given this info, I say over the phone is fine.

[starburst604]

Ok in your situation I think phone is acceptable. Im ashamed to say I ended a 9 month relationship via text. The day before his birthday.

[prettyinpearls]

Do what feels comfortable to you.

[Bernadine]

No, we did both say that we weren't seeing other people. But we didn't say bf and gf, or anything like that.

He's not a great comminucator. I think he likes me, but I'm not even sure how much, because he's THAT quiet.

[achase123]

Nope, you need to do it in person.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 11, 2012 11:46:08 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Sept 11, 2012 11:39:28 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Really? In person? He's super quiet, and I feel like it would be more awkward for him in person. I don't think he'll ask any questions, but I would answer any he had.

No, I don't think he sees it coming. And we don't have any immediate plans to see each other. And he lives an hour away. I wouldn't want to do it in public, and what, would I drive to his apartment just to break up with him and leave?

I really have no idea. Xh is the only break up I've experienced in the last 14 years.

Given this info, I say over the phone is fine.

I agree. If you have no plans to see each other, it doesn't sound very serious to me.

[blackkitty]

Sept 11, 2012 11:14:06 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Do people really want to be broken up with in person?

Personally I would prefer someone break up with me over the phone. As long as it isn't like a husband or live in boyfriend.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 11, 2012 13:40:53 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Sept 11, 2012 11:14:06 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Do people really want to be broken up with in person?

Personally I would prefer someone break up with me over the phone. As long as it isn't like a husband or live in boyfriend.

Me too as long as it is a semi-casual relationship. Serious or long term deserves in person.

[BlueBayou]

with no plans together soon, and the hour long distance i think the phone is reasonable. It would not be right to make someone drive long distance somewhere so you could tell them its over. Phone is next best thing to in person with that much distance. Good luck, breaking up with someone is always hard.

[dakotadangerdog]

Sept 11, 2012 13:44:20 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Sept 11, 2012 13:40:53 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Personally I would prefer someone break up with me over the phone. As long as it isn't like a husband or live in boyfriend.

Me too as long as it is a semi-casual relationship. Serious or long term deserves in person.

For real.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 11, 2012 13:40:53 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Sept 11, 2012 11:14:06 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Do people really want to be broken up with in person?

Personally I would prefer someone break up with me over the phone. As long as it isn't like a husband or live in boyfriend.

Seriously. and 3 months meaning it needs to be in person? really? Three months is NOT long term. You people be crazy.

My best friend had been dating this guy for around 2-3 months, he took him out to dinner and right before dessert told him he just wanted to be friends. My BFF was pissed because he could have done something else with his evening rather than sit through a meal just to get dumped. I agree with him. I don't want to spend a meal with someone who is dumping me. That time could be better used at a bar finding my break up sex!

[starburst604]

When I suggested she do it in person I wasn't saying do it over dinner. I was assuming he lived nearby and she could go to his house and talk to him. Given the distance the phone seems more reasonable. Believe me I'm no fan of in person breakups myself and if I were him I'd rather a phone convo. But other people seem to feel differently about it. Shrug.

[heavenly]

I would do it in person. I personally would want that myself if someone was breaking up with me. I would keep it simple and honest and thank him for the time shared.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 11, 2012 18:46:03 GMT -5 heavenly said:

I would do it in person. I personally would want that myself if someone was breaking up with me. I would keep it simple and honest and thank him for the time shared.

WHY? I guess I don't get it. 3 months in to dating when you aren't making plans in advance and haven't discussed being bf/gf, WHY would you want it in person? I wouldn't want a guy I had dated in my house breaking up with me. What do you do then? "Okay, thanks, leave now!" It would be sooooo awkward! Over the phone I can say the exact same things I would in person AND not have to see their stupid "I feel sorry for you" face.

Now, if it was long term, they were exclusive, I could see wanting it to be in person and talk it out, but 3 months? No. Call me say,"It was nice, but it's done" I say "Cool, thanks" and then call my girlfriends and go out.

I may not be the best person to answer this, though. I have had 3 serious live in relationships-broke up in person in our home. I had one 4-6 month relationship where he broke up with me in person, but it was after I walked in on another girl in his bed. Other than that, One of us just stopped calling. Didn't even call to say it is over, just, stopped communicating. That's obviously the wrong way, as well as FB or texting,but I honestly do not get what is bad about a phone call. You can hash it out over the phone too.

[bullygirl979]

JoJo, I think you will notice the majority of people said over the phone. Just sayin'

[jojoandleo]

Sept 11, 2012 21:01:02 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

JoJo, I think you will notice the majority of people said over the phone. Just sayin'

The first three said in person until she said how far away he was, etc. I was quick to reply. Plus I just like saying "You be crazy."

[bullygirl979]

Sept 11, 2012 21:08:45 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Sept 11, 2012 21:01:02 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

JoJo, I think you will notice the majority of people said over the phone. Just sayin'

The first three said in person until she said how far away he was, etc. I was quick to reply. Plus I just like saying "You be crazy."

Ohhh! I see. You're just looking for an excuse

My answer was based on the fact they had no definite upcoming plans. If they were REALLY serious (despite only being together 3 months) then I would say in person. But is sounds fairly casual, hence my answer of phone = fine.

And I just like my new siggy pic so I am posting a lot of replies

[jojoandleo]

Sept 11, 2012 21:11:54 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Sept 11, 2012 21:08:45 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

The first three said in person until she said how far away he was, etc. I was quick to reply. Plus I just like saying "You be crazy."

Ohhh! I see. You're just looking for an excuse

My answer was based on the fact they had no definite upcoming plans. If they were REALLY serious (despite only being together 3 months) then I would say in person. But is sounds fairly casual, hence my answer of phone = fine.

And I just like my new siggy pic so I am posting a lot of replies

Yep! My real excuse is just that I am probably a bad breaker-upper and the thought of doing it in person for every three month relationship I have ever had sounds horrible. Then again, I admitted to employing the "never contact them again" method, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

I think I'm trying to justify my being a shitty dater thinking NO ONE would want it in person. Either way, in this case, a phone call is fine.

[heavenly]

I don't personally think breaking up in person means drama or heartbreaking drag out. I just hate assuming the other person's feeling. But do what you are comfortable with.

[jade28]

It sounds like it's a casual relationship and it's fine to break up over the phone. Were you guys even bf/gf? I don't even have any expectations until someone is my boyfriend so I wouldn't even care what they did if we were just dating. I would much prefer it over the phone. I hate when people go out of there way to setup an in-person meeting just to dump me. So unnecessary.

That said, my bf and I have been dating for 4 months and I would expect it in person because we are in a committed relationship and serious and I would want more closure.

[blackkitty]

Did you do it last night?
We need an update!!

[Bernadine]

He didn't call me last night (we don't always talk everyday), and I'm wimpy, so I didn't call him, either. He'll probably call tonight, and I'll tell him then.

[dakotadangerdog]

Sept 12, 2012 11:49:56 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

He didn't call me last night (we don't always talk everyday), and I'm wimpy, so I didn't call him, either. He'll probably call tonight, and I'll tell him then.

Good luck!!