Anyone thinking about another?

[luv2rn4fun]

Our sons are 21 months apart. We had 2 losses before DS1 so wanted to start when he was close to 12 months. My cycle returned at 9 months, we started trying at 11 months and his birthday ended up being my first day of LMP for DS2. It happened much faster than before and we didn't have any losses. I spent most of the 9 months in complete denial. But now that DS2 is here (and almost 5 months old) I am loving most of it! DH is firmly done...if he weren't I would like to entertain a 3rd and start trying when DS2 is 18- 24 months. The hardest part so far has been having C home all the time (versus going to preschool) and being home for L's naps (which he is still doing 4x...rarely does he do a 3 nap day).

[scm1011]

We are on the fence about a 2nd. If we do go for it, id like a 3 year-ish gap, so we have time to think on it. Right now DH is slightly leaning more toward one and done, while I lean slightly more towards having a second. Essentially he says it's up to me. We have 4 frosties. .

[loira]

Sometimes I think about having another. I could see us with 2 if we had the money and if our lives were relatively stable. But I'm not sure why I want another. A large part of it has to do with fear of losing A... and I don't think that's a healthy reason. I also don't think I'm equipped to be a good mum to more than 1 - maybe because part of my emotional energy every day already goes towards dealing with our loss, maybe because I'm an introvert and feel like A takes enough out of me. Also I have no desire to be pregnant again. Ever. H doesn't care either way. I'd want a 4 year gap so we do have time to decide.

[knx9211]

I'm always amazed by people who can wait for their beta. I tested at 5dp5dt with both our fresh cycle (m/c) and FET (current). BFP at 5dp5dt.

My kid isn't even here yet and I already plan to never go back on BC. I find it hard to believe that we'll get pregnant on our own, but it'd be fun!

[icedcoffee]

DS is 16 weeks. I'm on the mini pill now and plan to take it until he turns one. At that point we will pull the goalie and just have fun for a bit. We will probably see an RE to get a sperm analysis around 18 months to see what we are working with. We don't have any frosties, unfortunately.

[janegold]

B is 10 weeks so we are still quite a ways off from a second, but if we decide to go for it, it will probably be in the summer or fall of 2018. We have 3 frozen embryos left and we would ideally like to try to time the birth of #2 to be more convenient with H's work schedule. B was born during a time that was not ideal from that perspective. B was the result of a FET and they really are so much easier than a fresh cycle so I am not dreading it yet, and I am glad to know that we won't have to go through the heartbreak of trying for months/years on our own like the first time around. We haven't used any BC for 7.5 years so I'm not about to start now, but we will likely PNP until we are closer to being ready for #2 (that is, when I am ready to have sex again, lol).

[janegold]

daisyfay25, for my FET, I got a BFP at 4dp5dt.

[daisyfay25]

Feb 19, 2017 23:13:25 GMT -5 janegold said:

daisyfay25, for my FET, I got a BFP at 4dp5dt.

That is awesome!! I am so testing that early this time around lol, I think I'm a little over-excited. And it's still months away.

[daisyfay25]

We aren't going to try naturally at all. I am not going back to that place mentally, it was really tough on us! We are very fortunate that we have some frozen embryos.

[pooh8402]

Feb 20, 2017 7:59:32 GMT -5 daisyfay25 said:

We aren't going to try naturally at all. I am not going back to that place mentally, it was really tough on us! We are very fortunate that we have some frozen embryos.

Same. DH wants to try naturally (to save money) but I couldn't mentally handle it.

MFI was our main reason for needing IVF, and pregnancy doesn't change that, you know?

[EllieT]

Feb 16, 2017 13:12:14 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Feb 16, 2017 13:09:09 GMT -5 daisyfay25 said:

midwest07 How exciting, good luck! Random question, when you did the FET with your daughter, could you take a pregnancy test before your beta? Since there isn't a trigger shot or anything to wait out? I don't know why I care about that at this point but I was wondering lol.

I was literally thinking about this, this morning on my way to work. Get out of my head!

Yes you can test early. I did a FET and they don't do betas here. The clinic gave me a pregnancy test and instructions to take it 14 days after transfer. Well, I cheated and tested already 5dp5dt. It was a very very faint positive (actually it was so faint I didn't even consider it positive until I got a just slightly darker one the next day).

[EllieT]

I'm definitely thinking a lot about a second. DS is 6 months old and before he was born and when he was newborn I thought two years apart sounded good. But that would mean getting pregnant when he is just over a year and right now that sounds crazy. He's just so little. Then again I know we are talking about 8-9 months from now so I know much can change. But still. I feel like I want him to get my undivided love and attention for longer. And I can't wrap my brain around how I could possibly love another one like him. But I know lots of people feel like that and then end up with just as much love for number two

If it wasn't for our age (I'm 36 and DH 41) and for possibly wanting a #3 as well (was set on 3 kids before IF, not sure about it now but also don't want to close that door right now) I think I would rather wait until DS is 3 or even 4. But if we wait that long a third will definitely be out of the question. And we might very well end up thinking two is enough but I want that to be our decision because we feel done, not because we are too old and we've lost our embryos.

I hope I feel more ready for a second after Summer because that really was our plan. I don't think we will try naturally (I have an IUD), we have 10 frosties so we will probably go straight for another FET.

[starburst604]

#2 is the hugest unknown in my life right now, it's all very weird. L will be two in May and when she turned one we did go see our RE and did some testing (Clomid Challenge). It showed that I'm not a good candidate for IVF with my own eggs at this point, which was insane to me since I conceived via our first IUI. But, insurance wouldn't cover anything for me now with the results I got. The RE did say I should repeat the Clomid Challenge to make sure the results weren't a fluke, but I haven't. We aren't inclined to try OOP IVF (and the RE said she wouldn't recommend it anyway), nor are we going to do donor eggs. I guess you'd say we're both very wishy-washy on a second child. We enjoy L tremendously, but I think we both can't see past the financial drain of a second kid in daycare, not to mention the parenting logistics. I think as L gets older and is easier to do stuff with, we are both reluctant to repeat the newborn stage.

Fortunately, we are both in the same place even if it's undecided. Right now it's off the table and we are avoiding since I'm training for the Boston Marathon in April. After that we will just see what happens naturally - I'm not torturing myself with OPKs and temping again. I'll be 42 in December so if it doesn't happen by then we may need to reevaluate how long we will be open to a surprise pregnancy.