I'm so sorry. I remember being where you are, I lost it in Walmart about 2 weeks after my dad died just because somebody I knew asked how I was. It would just hit at times like that. PP said it doesn't go away but does get better and that is true. My dad died 18 years ago last week, and I still have those moments when I think he should be here for this!
I'm so sorry. I vividly remember those days after losing my dad. It's no consolation to hear, but those waves do eventually get further apart and smaller. It's been 7.5 years for me and thinking of him or him showing up in my dreams mostly bring smiles now.
This. With time, the waves of grief get smaller and farther apart. Once in a while, a big wave catches me by surprise though. Dad passed 7 years ago, and mom passed this past November, and some days are better than others. Thinking of, and praying, for you and your family.
I am so very sorry. You are going to be on a rollercoaster of emotions, not just right now, but for many, many years to come, likely always.
You will have moments where you can breathe and just be and enjoy life and moments, even decades from now, that knock the breath right out of you and take you right back to that horrible moment when you lost your loved one.
Time does help but the wounds will always be there. Because you loved him and were loved by him and it just hurts like hell. Having lost a loved one, it's almost comforting in a weird way to expect that I am going to have those moments in the future, that he will always, always be on my mind and in my hurt, and that it really is okay not to be okay sometimes.
Post by amandakisser on Feb 23, 2017 11:07:23 GMT -5
I am so sorry. I remember my husband's grief when his father passed - it was like nothing I've ever seen before. For him, it came before his father actually died. He had an EXTREMELY aggressive form of cancer and died two weeks from diagnosis. My husband's grief changed him. He still misses his dad, and has been pretty depressed the past week because the 2-year anniversary is coming up in a few days. Just know nothing you feel is wrong, unusual, or anything you should feel ashamed of.
I can totally relate ...some days are easier than others.
I just lost my Dad this passed July. I'm still shocked that he's gone and I miss him. I'm in process of selling the house we grew up in. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. I've been seeing a grief counselor to help me make sense of all this.
You're not alone and be kind to yourself. Take care
Post by greenlight on Feb 23, 2017 16:29:36 GMT -5
The grief does seem to hit at random times. Remember to allow yourself to really sit in the sadness. Really feel the pain when it comes on. Let it wash over you. You have to let the grief in, in order to heal.
I was unable to do that after my Dad passed due to ridiculous family drama and it really stunted and prolonged my healing process.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 4 years ago this month and I remember exactly what you're going through right now. It will definitely come in waves for awhile. It sounds like you have a great, supportive family which will really help. And sometimes a good cry helps too. (((hugs)))
Post by chickadee77 on Feb 23, 2017 20:02:29 GMT -5
I am so, so sorry. It DOES get better, but it never goes away (at least, it hasn't for me or for anyone I know). You just learn how to cope. Right now, everything is bittersweet - emphasis on the bitter. As time goes on, the sweet will start to take over - I promise.
One of my worst moments came when my water heater broke and I realized I could no longer call my dad to ask what I should do about it.
I had a similar breakdown when my shelf fell off the wall in my apartment. It was maybe a month after my stepdad died (he always fixed everything for me). For a split second I thought--I have to call Pete, like an automatic reflex...and then immediately I realized he was gone. I just sat there alone and bawled in my kitchen. I'm tearing up thinking of that now. Sometimes it's the strangest things. Hugs to all.
Post by jennistarr1 on Feb 23, 2017 20:53:09 GMT -5
Tomorrow is my mom's first birthday on heaven. Grief truly comes in waves, this one is hard for me. I know how you've feel, it will get more tolerable. I am still so sorry for this awful club we are in
I had a similar breakdown when I shelf fell off the wall in my apartment. It's was maybe a month after my stepdad died (he always fixed everything for me). For a split second I thought--I have to call Pete, like an automatic reflex...and then immediately I realized he was gone. I just sat there alone and bawled in my kitchen. I'm tearing up thinking of that now. Sometimes it's the strangest things. Hugs to all.
I almost copied and sent a link to an article on Facebook the other day I knew he'd like. You're right - total reflex - and then realization gut punches you. </3
((@kizmet))
(I just reread my post--autocorrect makes me sound illiterate. )
Oh man. Tonight I keep flashing back to walking into my dads hospital room at 4:00 am and seeing his body. That was obviously incredibly impossibly sad.
My husband is having this problem and I wish I knew what I could do to help both of you. I don't know the circumstances of your dad's passing, but MIL had a complication from what had been a routine and successful heart valve repair so it was unexpected. He said he cannot let go of the nightmare images from the hospital, that every time he has a quiet moment he flashes on that. It breaks my heart. I wish he would speak to a grief counselor, but he has so far said no. He's farther out than you are, but I still think it's a good idea.