Overwhelmed and exhausted.

[textbookcase]

My dad is still in the hospital. He has cancer for sure but they don't know exactly where yet. He has been too weak/unstable for much testing. Today he is having a PET scan so we will have answers soon. He has ascites and the fluid keeps building up, they've "tapped" it twice in a week and it keeps building up. He is in a lot of pain and discomfort. He's in the hospital in San Diego, 2 hours away from here. I've been up there twice this week. My mom is holding it together pretty well but I know a breakdown is coming (understandable) and I'm really worried about how she's going to cope with all of this. My parents are the most codependent people I've ever met, I can't imagine either of them without the other.

It's also county fair time. You know how involved my kids are in 4-h. These 2 weeks are our craziest weeks of the year. I don't even want to do it but the kids have so much time and money invested in their projects. This is their thing. ALSO Ks goat broke its leg yesterday (day before fair) so that's fun and now we can't take her.

We've been staying at my parents house because the mold mushroom house is uninhabitable and smells like a goddamn cave. I finally found a new rental, we move on the 10th. So on top of everything else I have to pack, move, etc in between fair, my dad, and everything else. I'm not really coping with any of it very well and have random bouts of crying at least 4 times a day. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

I just want to sleep for a month. Sorry this turned into a novel.

[rosiebear]

Oh my god, that is so much to carry. I'm sorry.

[isabel]

Ugh. I wish I could do something to help you pack or take the girls to 4H stuff or something. I'm so sorry.

[underwaterrhymes]

That's so much.

I'm so sorry. ❤

[cleo29]

YOu are carrying quite the load on your shoulders right now. I am so sorry to hear about your dad.

[1confused1]

I'm so sorry!!

[themysteriouswife]

Having an ill parent is though. Mix in everything else I understand why you are crying a lot. Can you ask a friend to help? I'm sorry you are struggling. I hope life slows down soon.

[flamingeaux]

Dude, you don't have to cope well with all that stuff. Just coping is sufficient. Crying is acceptable, so is screaming, and laughing yourself silly at something stupidly funny, in the moment. Talk to their 4H leader and see if someone can help out with that part of it. Heck while you're at it see if some of the older ones can help with the move. Hands for greater service and all that

[ooglie26]

That is so much to handle all at once. Cry, scream, laugh, whatever it takes to get it out. Can another 4H parent or close friends help with some of those activities?

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Huge hugs!

[pantsparty]

That all sounds very stressful, no wonder you're feeling it. Huge hugs!

[Eagles]

Oh, that is so much to carry. Huge hugs and lots of love.

[aprilsails]

You have every right to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. This is all too much.
I truly hope they are able to help your Dad. I too would suggest seeing if someone else can do at least one day at the fair. As far as moving and packing goes call in all the favours.

[Monica Geller]

I'm sorry. That's a lot for anyone. ((Hugs))

[readyin07]

Oh man. That is enough to make anybody board the bus to crazytown. I am so sorry you are dealing with all this stress. I hope they are able to get a handle on what is going on with your dad and come up with a plan of action asap.

[boxertdog]

I have never been through anything as hard as my dad having cancer and having to be a mom. It's ok to ask for help, bag out of things and be antisocial. Take care of yourself emotionally. You do not have to do everything you usually do. It's as good a thing to show your kids to let them see you ask for and receive help and support when you need it-maybe more than showing them you can power through your feelings. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's awful.

[googled]

I'm sorry. That all sounds awful I hope you can get some help and that they figure out what's going on with your dad!

[textbookcase]

Thanks, guys. It's just so much at once. I'm still in shock about my dad. We have no official diagnosis or prognosis but I know what the symptoms point to and I can't wrap my head around it.

I'll definitely bow out of the things I can get out of during fair. I just can't do the full load this time. I think Ks goats broken leg might be a positive, at least that's one less thing to do. (Lovebug will be fine, she's in a little goaty cast)

[pumpkin]

I'm so sorry! That's a ton to handle all at once. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[Waffles]

I'm sorry, that is a lot to be dealing with. I hope you can get some help with the kids activities at least.

[Leeham Rimes]

I'm sorry sending out good thoughts to you and your family.

[Saint Monica]

((A billion hugs textbookcase ))

[jennistarr1]

reach out to others... please. Are there other fair moms/dads that might be able to help out with that.

If you mentioned to people that you need help moving, do you think anyone would step up? If not, I would totally consider hiring movers and sticking it on a credit card if that is at all fathomable to you and you could easily make the payments towards that.

[happywife]

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate. Hang in there and remember to make time to care for yourself, too. Sending you love.

[yourmother]

Gosh, I'm so sorry. Take it one minute at a time. Take breaks. Breathe. Hugs!

[textbookcase]

Day one of fair done thank god.

He had his PET scan today finally - results inconclusive. Treating it as "cancer of unknown origin" and chemo starts tonight.