I need you guys to talk me down

[andwhat]

This bothers me and not much does. I think they forgot. Which is not ok at all, but I definitely can't deal with being lied to. So if J got fed in the morning before drop off, the only thing he had to eat is what they fed him @ 11:20. And if they would normally log a refusal, the only reason they didn't is they forgot to even try. I would think if a baby were acting weird enough to call the parent, you would be more attentive to the log so they could know what was going on. I don't know if I would move over this. I think their response and how they handle things going forward would dictate that. But if you don't feel comfortable, I think that is enough reason to move. I am sorry you are experiencing working mom guilt.

[sweetday]

I'd be pissed.

Enough that it wouldnt go away until I spoke in person to the director.

Especially since they log everything but didnt do this.

[05heel]

Yeah, I'd be very upset. I'm with you - my baby being hungry has always made me hyperventilate. Even now I get really twitchy about her having enough food.

How do you forget to feed a baby? Even toddlers know that babies need bottles.

[05heel]

Mar 3, 2017 11:02:22 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Mar 3, 2017 10:47:21 GMT -5 05heel said:

Yeah, I'd be very upset. I'm with you - my baby being hungry has always made me hyperventilate. Even now I get really twitchy about her having enough food.

How do you forget to feed a baby? Even toddlers know that babies need bottles.

He only cries when he is hungry. Even as a newborn. He's a chill, happy baby otherwise.

I feel like a moron for not checking the log before telling H to pick him up. But I assumed he was fed!

I get why you would feel bad, but you shouldn't. His having been fed was a very safe assumption!

[childofhiphop]

Big hugs. I am so sorry this happened. I'm glad your H was able to step in and that J is okay.

I turn into The Wolverine about my kids.

Since, they did apologize, I think my next move would depend on their next actions. I believe mistakes can be made but it's how you deal with them so they never happen again is the most important part. And I mean NEVER EVER happen again.

My DH has helped me to try and be more reasonable esp if all ended up well and the kids recovered okay and our family was safe and sound at the end of the day. If it happened another time, he's okay for me to turn loose my "someone's gonna pay" alter ego.

[newnamesameperson]

I would feel like asking her how it'd feel to go without drinking anything all day? Then I'd want to throw up. This is extremely stressful.

It is not your job to remind people to feed a child. It is not your responsibility nor reasonable for you to expect that you can micromanage them.  Don't guilt yourself into thinking you should have checked...


Do you trust them?  Maybe he did refuse a bottle, and they didn't think to offer it again.  They need to let you know if he goes X hours without eating solids/bottle so you are aware.  

[newnamesameperson]

Well, then that's done. That type of trust can't be rebuilt. I'd review their logs daily, like on their asses....and find a new place asap.

This is basic care, that they screwed up.

[raangoli]

I'd request a meeting to get to the bottom of this. Someone isn't telling the truth and I want to know who it is. I'm so sorry that you have to add this to your already overwhelming list of things.

[threejs]

I'm probably the only person who feels like this, but I think I would go talk to them when you're back, and depending upon the director's and teacher's reactions, I wouldn't move him. But, only if they are overly apologetic, acknowledge the mistake, understand you'll be checking up on them, etc.

As a working Mom, I truly get it. I used to spend SO MUCH TIME beating myself up and ready to fight everyone who looked like they were even thinking about harming my child. My anxiety was through the roof. I'm not sure wtf nobody tried a bottle, but maybe everyone thought someone else had?? I don't know. Mistakes happen. Even with our babies. And while it sucks that he was hungry, it sounds like he is okay now. Glad he doesn't have an ear infection.

Hang in there, mama.

[bimbi284]

Mar 3, 2017 11:16:44 GMT -5 05heel said:

Mar 3, 2017 11:02:22 GMT -5 @natariru said:

He only cries when he is hungry. Even as a newborn. He's a chill, happy baby otherwise.

I feel like a moron for not checking the log before telling H to pick him up. But I assumed he was fed!

I get why you would feel bad, but you shouldn't. His having been fed was a very safe assumption!

Agreed. Particularly if a baby is fussy, how is it not an instinct to rule out hunger before calling parents?

[bugandbibs]

I'm really, really sorry. It's incredibly stressful to leave your children in someone else's care. The only way it works is with 100% trust.

I wouldn't be able to get past this, mostly because of the lying. I'd worry too much. I'd look into other options, but I know we would not be able to afford an extra $500/month. We use a nanny, which was cheaper than daycare for us (but we only need part-time care). My kids adore her and run to hug her when she comes in the door. That makes it a lot easier for me to leave for work.

[meshaliuknits]

Mar 3, 2017 16:30:49 GMT -5 threejs said:

I'm probably the only person who feels like this, but I think I would go talk to them when you're back, and depending upon the director's and teacher's reactions, I wouldn't move him. But, only if they are overly apologetic, acknowledge the mistake, understand you'll be checking up on them, etc.

As a working Mom, I truly get it. I used to spend SO MUCH TIME beating myself up and ready to fight everyone who looked like they were even thinking about harming my child. My anxiety was through the roof. I'm not sure wtf nobody tried a bottle, but maybe everyone thought someone else had?? I don't know. Mistakes happen. Even with our babies. And while it sucks that he was hungry, it sounds like he is okay now. Glad he doesn't have an ear infection.

Hang in there, mama.

I'm here. Good luck.

[divanerd]

Im so sorry I would be upset working mon or not. You are paying for a service they failed to provide

I would monitor for next few weeks and then decide on new place if your gut tells you to do so.

Hugs momma!

[thejackpot]

So sorry that you are dealing with this mess. Hugs! I think all of your feelings are valid. I would talk to the director and share your concern about the lack of feeding and the dishonesty. See how you feel after the conversation. If it feels like you can't trust them than I would explore other options.

[dr.girlfriend]

Oh, man. I would need talking down too. I would want to meet iwth the teacher and director together to gauge their reaction. It definitely sounds super hinky.

[cookiemdough]

I am with threejs. Hope everything works out and that your little one is doing better.

[bugandbibs]

How are things?

[thejackpot]

I think you made a wise decision. A few days away from the situation and the head and heart are much clearer. You are a great Mom and I know you will continue to follow your gut and do what's best for your boys. I so wish we could do away with Mom guilt, it stinks that that is even a thing.