Separation vs Divorce

[stellarose]

Sorry if this isn't the right board, I'm not sure where to go. We are dealing with DH's depression and looks like he wants to move forward with divorce without really trying to salvage the marriage. Honestly, it might be too far gone to salvage at this point.

I feel we should do a legal separation before proceeding divorce. What is the main benefit in doing this? Just to simulate a divorce without actually committing?

I do not think his meds are working yet. I've explained how final divorce is. He just doesn't seem in the right place to be making these calls. I've brought up separation but he doesn't see the benefit.

[Linie]

Just my experience: when I wanted to separate, it was because I felt the marriage was already over and divorce was just the next logical step. I didn't see us coming back from that.

Is your DH open to couple's therapy? We tried it, and I felt that it could have worked if I hadn't been so sure I wanted out.

Good luck!

[alleinesein]

What does your state require? Some states require a legal separation before a divorce is granted.

[nextbigthing]

Some states require a legal separation first.

For counseling, if you're both willing it could definitely help, but you can't force someone to want to fix the marriage.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[doglove]

It really depends on the state, as PP mentioned. In NC there is a mandatory 12 month + 1 day legal separation period before you can file for divorce. Basically in our state that is the period when everything gets sorted out from dividing property, assets, debt and working out child care/custody if any exist so that when you are ready to file for divorce - it's just a matter of signing the paperwork.

[Deleted]

We had a separation agreement in place during as we negotiated our divorce. It protected all assets during that time and any money we made then was ours individually.

[cuadrado]

Mar 29, 2017 16:52:28 GMT -5 Aloe Vera said:

I think people are confusing a separation and a legal separation. They are very different!

A legal separation requires a lawyer and you go in front of a judge. You are legally separated but you're still legally married.
If you decide to divorce, you're going to need a lawyer again and start the divorce process.

This article explains it better
family.findlaw.com/divorce/legal-separation.html

We just had to make a separation agreement ourselves and get it notarized. We didn't have to go before a judge. I consulted a lawyer just to protect myself but did not retain him. We did not have to submit the separation agreement with the divorce paperwork either (it was an option but not required)