please lie to me and tell me i handled this right

[laurenpetro]

grace said the word Bitch today in gym class 3 times to a kid.

her story is that he was throwing a ball at her (or something stupid like that) and she told the teacher. the teacher reprimanded him. then the kid told grace that he hated her. she told him that Hate is a bad word and he can't say that. then HE said, "no, that's not a bad word, the B-word is a bad word". since we don't swear in front of grace, she didn't know what the B-word was and asked him. he said, "it sounds like Ditch but it has a B in the front". she said "Bitch? Is it Bitch?" and the kid told the gym teacher that grace was saying The B-word. when asked, grace said, "Yeah, I said it 3 times". grace said when she was walking back to her desk after being reprimanded, the little boy was smiling.

now, i don't entirely believe her story. i don't think the kid was smiling about the whole thing. and i'm not sure it took THAT much prodding by the kid to get her to say it. but i believe her when she says she didn't know what it meant and didn't know it was a bad word.

here's where the lie to me comes in: i just emailed the teacher back and told her that. i said it in a very respectful way, and i didn't rat the other kid out, but fuckaduck.

here's the email:

Hi Mrs (Teacher),

First of all, I want to apologize for this. I was completely shocked,
to say the least.

We spoke to Grace about this tonight.

(Before I write this, I want to point out that I am taking most of
this story with a grain of salt, to put it mildly)

The story that Grace told us is that she told the gym teacher that
another student was doing something they shouldn't have been doing, and in retaliation, this other student "tricked" her into saying it.
(What I got was that the student said they Hated her, she said Hate is a bad word. The student said, "That's not a bad word, the B- word is. When she asked what it was, they said, "it sounds like Ditch but with a B" When she said it, the student told the teacher. When she was asked, Grace said, "I said it 3 times".) When Grace was reprimanded, she said this other student was smiling about it.

Like I said, I don't entirely believe this. That said, I don't think
she knew what she was saying (especially since, when asked, she asked why the word "ditch" was a bad word).

We emphasized that, in the future, if she's not sure what a word
means, the best way to handle it is not to say that word at all. And,
if she does use it, the consequences will be severe (in Grace's
world).

If there's anything else you can suggest, please let me know.

Thank you,

Lauren

i look like an asshole now, don't i?

[MrsAxilla]

Personally, I wouldn't have emailed at all, not even to apologize. But your email isn't bitchy or anything, so no harm, no foul.

[pamela]

I would take out "would be severe" but overall I say ok.

[laurenpetro]

FWIW, the punishment is no stuffed animals in her bed. this is horrific in her world.

and, she agreed to it. when we were talking about her punishment i asked her what she thought of that as the punishment and she agreed.

[Deleted]

I think you did just fine. I think the email was good as it let the teacher know you are handling it and it also gave her a heads up on the situation and that perhaps the other kid is an instigating little troll beast . . . maybe. lol

What a tattletale anyway.

[laurenpetro]

May 17, 2012 21:27:28 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

I think you did just fine. I think the email was good as it let the teacher know you are handling it and it also gave her a heads up on the situation and that perhaps the other kid is an instigating little troll beast . . . maybe. lol

What a tattletale anyway.

if this whole thing really did play out like grace said, that kid is pretty fucked up. WAY more conniving than grace. she'd never think of that.

[Deleted]

It actually does sound plausible to me. I work with kids pretty frequently and the shit they come up with, well, this doesn't surprise me. I find it easier to believe this kid came up with this shit than Grace came up with this clever of a story.

The only part I think Grace is fudging is how "innocently" she stepped into dude's little trap. She knew what she was saying but she really was just answering him. At least that's how it sounds to me.

[laurenpetro]

May 17, 2012 21:38:04 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

It actually does sound plausible to me. I work with kids pretty frequently and the shit they come up with, well, this doesn't surprise me. I find it easier to believe this kid came up with this shit than Grace came up with this clever of a story.

The only part I think Grace is fudging is how "innocently" she stepped into dude's little trap. She knew what she was saying but she really was just answering him. At least that's how it sounds to me.

i agree. i don't think she knew that it was a specific bad word, per se, but there's no way she didn't know it wasn't a bad thing to say. she's not that dumb.