I'm so sorry. With my first m/c, I was sad. With my second, I was angry. Like, I already did this, I shouldn't have to do it again. Which is irrational but fuck it, that's how I felt.
This was exactly my experience, too. Like fuck, man, really? REALLY?! AGAIN??
It's ok to be angry, 05heel. But I feel like you probably know that. But I wanted to say it anyway.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I am so, so sorry. With my first loss, we saw the heartbeat on a Monday and then went in due to some hardly noticeable spotting on Friday to find no heartbeat. I was PISSED because how could they tell me everything looked fine and give me an ultrasound picture to show EVERYONE, only to have the baby die a few days later? How could they not have known? It's the biggest mindfuck.
Nothing else to say, but I'm sorry..
yes! I'm irrationally angry this time around. The first time I had a natural miscarriage before I'd ever had an official appointment, so it was different. This time I've already spent countless hours getting blood tests and ultrasounds, so to have it all end abruptly is kind of ticking me off. Couldn't they have figured this out a little sooner? I know that's not possible, but it adds insult to injury.
Rationally, you know they couldn't have foreseen it or prevented it. But that doesn't mean you can't be angry about it. Being angry right now is not only acceptable, but completely normal. Please, let yourself be angry if that's what you feel. There's no shame in that. My first loss was a natural pregnancy while my second loss was the result of our first IUI. It was an earlier loss, but it still hurt a lot. I remember saying, "Did I just pay hundreds of dollars to have a miscarriage??" The whole thing just sucks.
Post by Shreddingbetty on Mar 13, 2017 21:39:09 GMT -5
I'm sorry We did IVF and the first time it didn't take. No one knew we were trying except for a select few. The second time it took and we told very close family around 13 weeks and the rest of the world after my 20 week US. I was very paranoid because we did IVF. I would've kept it a secret longer except that after 20 weeks it started getting hard to hide it any longer. I wish you the best of luck with IVF when you are ready to pursue that. Finger crossed that you will have good luck next time.