@ Baby Budget Talk

[katespade]

Can we talk about budget considerations for adding a baby to your household?
How did you decide that you were financially stable enough to start TTC?


I'm freaking out about money. I can't figure out how in the world we would be able to afford a baby, but I also don't know how much we actually need to free up in our budget. Are there decisions we should start making now? Budget items we can price out ahead of time? Recommendations or guidelines for expected costs to plan for? 

[estrellita]

Ditto most of suzv's post. Insurance covered a lot but not all. I maxed out my healthcare FSA to pay as much as I could that way. I now max out my dependent care FSA for daycare. Helps a bit making that money tax free, plus my company does a match.

Daycare IS expensive, so really look at options. Ours is the cheapest center in the area and they provide meals and quite a bit of stuff. We have to provide diapers and formula when he was a baby unless wanted to use theirs (he didn't do as well on theirs). In home is cheaper but I prefer the accountability of a center, plus not having to worry about them taking days off when we can't get off work.

Other ways we try to save:
- Cloth diapers
- store brand formula (tried to BF which is obviously cheapest but wasn't able to, so next best thing)
- watching for deals - Target often has gift cards when you buy a certain amount, plus Cartwheel and other deals. Stock up at these times.
- don't splurge on things unless you really have the money or need for it. Example is car seats - they all need to meet minimum standards, so they are all safe, some just have fancier features (yes, some features help with safety but not all).
- buy used, borrow things, etc. Especially things baby would only use for a short amount of time.

[hocus2]

I think you need two budgets - a start up budget and a revised monthly budget.

Childcare is really the big issue IMO for little kids. Everything else can be gotten on a fairly modest budget. My kids are older so it is different but when they were little I got a big box of diapers and tone of wipes per month. I was lucky to get hand-me downs from time to time and I also got some really inexpensive stuff from places like target and old navy. My kids were not big eaters and the cost of food wasn't too bad at first -- especially if you can partially make it yourself. (e.g. apple sauce is fairly cheap to make, less than what a pouch costs).

For start up you'll want to estimate your out of pocket medical expenses, savings to cover your leave if it is unpaid or partially paid, a car seat and some sort of basic stroller. A crib or other safe place to sleep and bedding is needed along with some basic baby items (a few toys, some books, etc) will get you started for the first few months or so. Things like a high chair aren't needed until your child starts eating around 5 or 6 months in.

All in I'd say it would be good to get at least $1000 set aside for start up costs and $125 per month on top of daycare to cover diapers/wipes/food/etc. I'd also keep in mind that while there are some savings with older children there aren't always as major as expected. School year child costs are lower for most folks (e.g. daycare was at least double what afterschool care costs) but summer camp is very pricey so my annual saving was only about 30% per year. Have you considered posting a post baby budget? It might help folks give you more clear feedback.

Note that for most families there is a small tax advantage of having kids so if you're on the bubble of making your budget work that might be what tips you into a positive budget. I have no regrets about having children and while we've had some years that in the red/dipped into savings we've muddled through OK.

[MrsMB]

Ditto suzv

I feel like you can get deals on most items. Plus lots will be given to you by family/friends/showers...so the monthly costs are really the big things IMHO. I know you're in HR so I'm assuming you've preached enough about short-term disability to know how big of a deal that can be....I'm sure you're already signed up for that. That helps a ton. If you coupon just right, you can get really good deals on diapers. We stocked up on diapers (before L was born) to the point we didn't have to buy any for L until she was about 10 months old. We've already started stocking up for #2. I think I'm already done buying for size 1.

WIPES WIPES WIPES.....stock up on those too. I get coupons through my grocer for those. We got enough to where we didn't need to buy wipes until this month for L...who is almost 15 months old.

[katespade]

How in the world do you figure out how much childcare is going to cost? I can't find any pricing information anywhere! We're very lucky that between our schedules we will only need someone 7-11 days per month (H works a rotating shift so the number of days varies), but it's hard to consider the options when I can't compare costs.

[estrellita]

Mar 15, 2017 12:44:08 GMT -5 katespade said:

How in the world do you figure out how much childcare is going to cost? I can't find any pricing information anywhere! We're very lucky that between our schedules we will only need someone 7-11 days per month (H works a rotating shift so the number of days varies), but it's hard to consider the options when I can't compare costs.

You'd have to call. It can change or vary based on number of hours, age, etc. Or ask people in the area what they pay to get a ballpark amount.

[hocus2]

Mar 15, 2017 12:44:08 GMT -5 katespade said:

How in the world do you figure out how much childcare is going to cost? I can't find any pricing information anywhere! We're very lucky that between our schedules we will only need someone 7-11 days per month (H works a rotating shift so the number of days varies), but it's hard to consider the options when I can't compare costs.

You can call places and inquire. They get those calls all the time. If they push you to come in just tell them you can't come in until you know the costs since you have a fixed budget.

 I'll be honest though it may be hard to find ad-hoc care like you're describing. A nanny would want most regular work and daycares would want a more firm schedule (e.g. Tuesday and Wednesday). Around here all the infant cents are full time. There is a huge demand for infant care and it means that part time care, which isn't as financially stable for the provider, isn't offered. If you have a large place an au pair might be an option. But there are a lot of up front costs with an au pair even if the annual costs are much lower.

[katespade]

hocus2 - We definitely don't have the space for an au pair situation. I have considered looking into an in-home nanny, though, if we could find one with enough flexibility to work with our schedules. I work a set schedule, so it would always be days between Mon-Thu, but which days would change from week to week.

Also, I work 10 hour days and H works 12 hour days, and I'm not seeing many centers that are open early enough for our work hours.

[hocus2]

Mar 15, 2017 13:04:07 GMT -5 katespade said:

hocus2 - We definitely don't have the space for an au pair situation. I have considered looking into an in-home nanny, though, if we could find one with enough flexibility to work with our schedules. I work a set schedule, so it would always be days between Mon-Thu, but which days would change from week to week.

Also, I work 10 hour days and H works 12 hour days, and I'm not seeing many centers that are open early enough for our work hours.

 A lot of places have caps on them in their state regulations (9.5 or 10 hours). Around here folks generally off set their hours so one can go in late enough for drop off and the other can pick up. 

An in-home might be an option but if they really need the money they're going to want a commitment of fixed number of days even if you don't need all of them.  

Are you a nurse? I'd ask around what people do because it sounds like more conventional options might not work for you. FWIW I've really slowed my career because DH works long days and can't pick up at the times a lot of places close and often can't drop off so 90% of it falls to me. I need to have a job that has regular and flexible hours. I'm almost to a place where I could take on more since both kids are in school on the same schedule and the hours aren't too bad for a working parent.

[katespade]

Mar 15, 2017 13:14:01 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

Mar 15, 2017 13:04:07 GMT -5 katespade said:

hocus2 - We definitely don't have the space for an au pair situation. I have considered looking into an in-home nanny, though, if we could find one with enough flexibility to work with our schedules. I work a set schedule, so it would always be days between Mon-Thu, but which days would change from week to week.

Also, I work 10 hour days and H works 12 hour days, and I'm not seeing many centers that are open early enough for our work hours.

 A lot of places have caps on them in their state regulations (9.5 or 10 hours). Around here folks generally off set their hours so one can go in late enough for drop off and the other can pick up. 

An in-home might be an option but if they really need the money they're going to want a commitment of fixed number of days even if you don't need all of them.  

Are you a nurse? I'd ask around what people do because it sounds like more conventional options might not work for you. FWIW I've really slowed my career because DH works long days and can't pick up at the times a lot of places close and often can't drop off so 90% of it falls to me. I need to have a job that has regular and flexible hours. I'm almost to a place where I could take on more since both kids are in school on the same schedule and the hours aren't too bad for a working parent.

No, I'm not a nurse. I'm a data analyst, but I work 4x10 instead of 5x8. My days/hours are very stable and I do have some flexibility since I work from home, but I have to be able to attend meetings in the early morning so our childcare has to be available to handle that. H's shifts start at 5:30 am, and I often have meetings scheduled that early, too. His workdays also rotate, because he works three days on, three days off. It's really inconvenient for scheduling situations, but the benefits of his job definitely outweigh the crummy schedule and he would probably have the same schedule issues no matter where he worked in his field, so it wouldn't make sense for him to consider leaving. 

He works with a lot of people who have young children, though. I'll have him ask around to see what they do for childcare and/or how much they pay. His co-workers would probably be good resources for that, since they all work the same schedule. 

[grover]

Definitely call around. We have to go with home daycare bc centers are out of our budget. Our lady charges $40/day or $200 for full time weekly. She also has a few kids she takes part time, and has two assistants.

We did not stock up on diapers bc all my friends have said they had to go through trial and error to see which brands worked for baby. I'd rather not deal with having to make exchanges, when it's faster to just send H in to grab a pack on his way home.

[katespade]

Mar 15, 2017 14:11:43 GMT -5 grover said:

Definitely call around. We have to go with home daycare bc centers are out of our budget. Our lady charges $40/day or $200 for full time weekly. She also has a few kids she takes part time, and has two assistants.

We did not stock up on diapers bc all my friends have said they had to go through trial and error to see which brands worked for baby. I'd rather not deal with having to make exchanges, when it's faster to just send H in to grab a pack on his way home.

I like suzv's idea about slowly stocking up on gift cards so that you don't have to worry about the cost later. Heck, I might start doing that now! $10-20 extra at the grocery store doesn't feel like a big deal right now, but it could mean a lot more later.

How did you find your home daycare provider? 

[luv2rn4fun]

Expenses for us have been increase in insurance premium (also figure out how much delivery would cost...ours was cheap- $250/baby). Monthly expenses are roughly $50 For diapers, $5- 10 for wipes (diapers and wipes cost per baby...so do us, roughly $120/mobth), $75 Good for C, L just started eating and cost maybe $15 right now but will be close to $50 in the next few months. Clothes... $40/month average per kid. Copays...varies, with C we had hardly any but with L he has been costing us $50/month lately.

You will get most of the things you will need to start Up, maybe having to purchase a convertible car seat, second stroller, or some random things you might now get. I was lucky to get a lot of things handed down to me as Well, which helped cut our start up cost. I would take whatever someone is willing to give if it's something you think you might need/want/use.

I like the idea of setting aside money/gift cards now so it's not a burden when the time comes.

Also, things we didn't consider were costs of meds while pregnant and the cost of our losses (d&c, meds, testing and doctors appointments). Thankfully these were cheap (meds were about $150/pregnancy, d&c was $40, copays were maybe $100 between the two pregnancies for C and L).

The big cost for us was the decision for me to stay home and the loss of my $85k salary. We moved to a house we could easily afford and actually paid it off by the end of my maternity leave. We always knew I would SAH so from day 1 of our marriage we lived on DH's income. We now have a mortgage again (since we moved to a much higher COL area) on top of a new kid and feel the financial pressure for DH to keep making his salary. But staying home is a huge priority for all of us so we will figure out where we can cut our already very frugal budget when needed. Right now we are living as though we will pay for preschool each month, knowing that cost is coming soon and want to make sure we can afford it...it has really hit us hard and is eye opening when we think of both boys being in preschool at the same time.

[grover]

Mar 15, 2017 14:20:55 GMT -5 katespade said:

Mar 15, 2017 14:11:43 GMT -5 grover said:

Definitely call around. We have to go with home daycare bc centers are out of our budget. Our lady charges $40/day or $200 for full time weekly. She also has a few kids she takes part time, and has two assistants.

We did not stock up on diapers bc all my friends have said they had to go through trial and error to see which brands worked for baby. I'd rather not deal with having to make exchanges, when it's faster to just send H in to grab a pack on his way home.

I like suzv's idea about slowly stocking up on gift cards so that you don't have to worry about the cost later. Heck, I might start doing that now! $10-20 extra at the grocery store doesn't feel like a big deal right now, but it could mean a lot more later.

How did you find your home daycare provider? 

My state has a childcare website where it lists centers and in homes along with any violations.
Then I looked on the neighborhood fb page for recs.

[travelbug]

This is such good advice and tips!

[amaranth]

I agree with the idea of two budgets, start up vs. New monthly.

Everyone always says you get so much at showers and as gifts. That isn't true for everyone and wasn't my experience. I am glad we pre saved the baby start up costs because we needed it all ($1500ish). We took advantage of the registry discounts and bought stuff the child would need for the first two years included some books, toys, medicine, etc.

Our monthly budget for 2 kids without daycare is only $50-$100. By shopping sales and used I can get each kid an entire year of clothing for around $100. The biggest issue in our family are kids shoes which I never expected. My kids both have extra wide feet and usually need $30-$50 shoes. We legit put tax money aside for those. Lol.

Toys are cheap, and easy to find nicely used or on clearance

We spend a ton on activities but if your child is in daycare I doubt that is a factor. If you decide to stay home and want this info, let me know.

OH, pre save for maternity clothes, nursing bras, and some bigger sized post partum items. Those items caught me off guard and are up several hundred.

[wanderingenough]

Sounds like everyone else hit on what I already would have. I was able to get a STD policy through work and use that to supplement some extra cash after delivery. You get a lump sum for your hospital stay, etc. which was nice while on maternity leave. Most of those you have to have for 10 months, so once you decide you want to TTC see if you can add that during open enrollment. My only issue was my MCs, which meant I ended up paying for those policies for several years.

Our biggest line item by far is daycare. We pay $255 a week for full time toddler care and we were at $300 for infant care. I think pooh and some of the other nurses struggled to find care for random hours like you are mentioning, so you might tag her and ask what she ended up doing. Pretty sure she got in a center at least part time. Formula was sucking us dry (something like ~$22/week) for a long time too because of course R could only tolerate a super pricey one, but I was all about the formula checks and coupons. If you end up needing to deal with that, I can teach you the system there.

Other than that, Amazon prime for diapers and wipes + sales for baby clothes + grandparents for toys. You'll be good to go.

[krystee]

katespade one of the daycares we toured did a drop-off program for parents who don't know their schedules. It was something like $60/day, so you'd be looking at $660 for 11 days. I think that daycare was Tutor Time, so you could check to see if you have one in your area.

[pooh8402]

Dh was super worried about this. The main advice we got from others was "if you wait until you can afford to have a kid, you'll never have kids." It turned out that simply conceiving our son was $$$$$, and we've managed.

So my advice? Don't worry about trying to budget. They'll be more expensive than you think but you will make it work.

[macmars45]

Mar 16, 2017 9:47:11 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Dh was super worried about this. The main advice we got from others was "if you wait until you can afford to have a kid, you'll never have kids." It turned out that simply conceiving our son was $$$$$, and we've managed.

So my advice? Don't worry about trying to budget. They'll be more expensive than you think but you will make it work.

I was your H is this scenario. And DS ended up in NICU for 4 days after my high risk pregnancy.
We worked out what we thought monthly costs (diapers, wipes, formula). And it's been pretty close. The l&d cost was the biggest question for us because no one would give us a straight answer but ended up ok as our FSA ended up covering the bulk of it.
I got maternity clothes for free from friends, I'm borrowing baby clothes from a sister and I get toys from my local buy nothing group. So that's all been helpful. Family & friends gifted us a stroller, rnp, pnp & halo bassinet. The high chair & car seat were our big ticket items we purchased new.

[katespade]

I don't even have words for how helpful this thread has been. Seriously, thank you all so much for your insights and advice.

H is going to talk to some co-workers about childcare recommendations, and we're going to start picking up gift cards when we go to the store and stashing them away like suzv mentioned. We also talked about how to pay off some of our debt to lower our monthly bills, which will obviously help.

I'm not the kind of person who can jump into this kind of thing without doing some planning, so it definitely makes a huge difference for me to have things I can focus on.

[hocus2]

Mar 16, 2017 15:33:01 GMT -5 katespade said:

I don't even have words for how helpful this thread has been. Seriously, thank you all so much for your insights and advice.

H is going to talk to some co-workers about childcare recommendations, and we're going to start picking up gift cards when we go to the store and stashing them away like suzv mentioned. We also talked about how to pay off some of our debt to lower our monthly bills, which will obviously help.

I'm not the kind of person who can jump into this kind of thing without doing some planning, so it definitely makes a huge difference for me to have things I can focus on.

  If you're not pregnant now (you don't have a ticker, so I can't tell)  I'd hold of on the cards and just do a spare change jar. Those cards often have fees at the year mark. 

[katespade]

Mar 16, 2017 15:39:15 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

Mar 16, 2017 15:33:01 GMT -5 katespade said:

I don't even have words for how helpful this thread has been. Seriously, thank you all so much for your insights and advice.

H is going to talk to some co-workers about childcare recommendations, and we're going to start picking up gift cards when we go to the store and stashing them away like suzv mentioned. We also talked about how to pay off some of our debt to lower our monthly bills, which will obviously help.

I'm not the kind of person who can jump into this kind of thing without doing some planning, so it definitely makes a huge difference for me to have things I can focus on.

  If you're not pregnant now (you don't have a ticker, so I can't tell)  I'd hold of on the cards and just do a spare change jar. Those cards often have fees at the year mark. 

Oh really? That's good to know! I'm not pregnant now and we won't start TTC for another couple of months, so maybe we'll just make a habit of getting $10-20 in cash back when we shop and stashing it in our safe or something. 

[estrellita]

I don't think store gift cards have fees, but the Visa/AmEx ones might. You could open another savings account too and have a certain amount of your paycheck go in there to save specifically for baby stuff. Could be 5 or 10 dollars a paycheck, then throw a little extra in there here and there.

[katespade]

Mar 16, 2017 16:27:14 GMT -5 estrellita said:

I don't think store gift cards have fees, but the Visa/AmEx ones might. You could open another savings account too and have a certain amount of your paycheck go in there to save specifically for baby stuff. Could be 5 or 10 dollars a paycheck, then throw a little extra in there here and there.

The problem with a savings account is that the money is easily accessible. lol.

We have trouble saving money that way because we usually end up borrowing against ourselves for something, saying we'll pay it back, and then that doesn't always happen. Since we never deal with cash, I think we would be way less likely to end up spending it if we saved that way.

[estrellita]

Mar 16, 2017 16:32:31 GMT -5 katespade said:

Mar 16, 2017 16:27:14 GMT -5 estrellita said:

I don't think store gift cards have fees, but the Visa/AmEx ones might. You could open another savings account too and have a certain amount of your paycheck go in there to save specifically for baby stuff. Could be 5 or 10 dollars a paycheck, then throw a little extra in there here and there.

The problem with a savings account is that the money is easily accessible. lol.

We have trouble saving money that way because we usually end up borrowing against ourselves for something, saying we'll pay it back, and then that doesn't always happen. Since we never deal with cash, I think we would be way less likely to end up spending it if we saved that way.

You could open an account at another bank or one of my banks has an option to "hide" the account from your main page. Then you wouldn't notice it and may even forget it exists until you need it!

[pooh8402]

Mar 15, 2017 13:11:13 GMT -5 suzv said:

My guess is that you will have a hard time finding a center that lets you change days each week. I feel like that would make staffing difficult on the center. My daycare opens at 6:30am, it is the earliest I have found. A nanny might be your best bet.

This, exactly. As a nurse, it's been hell trying to find daycare that is open early enough and late enough for me to do dropoff/pickup when I'm working and DH is out of town. In our old city, it meant either having family come in town to help, or asking a friend to do before/after. This is a big reason we made this move,so I have help when DH is out of town.

As far as the varied schedule, I also couldn't find any that would let me change the schedule from week to week. We ended up just putting him in daycare full-time, and I can choose to take him in, or not. As an infant, I kept him home with me more on my days off, but now that he's a toddler, he does much better with a routine and I have my days off free to do what I need to do. It's pretty nice and I recommend it.

[HoneySpider]

I know some people don't like stocking up on diapers and wipes ahead of time but I loved it! I didn't even start until I was about 25ish weeks and still had a good stockpile between what we got as gifts and what I bought - it allowed me to buy only when I got SUPER deals. I bought/registered for a variety of brands so incase something didn't work we didn't have a ton (fortunately, DS has no issues) and I figured I could always pass along to someone, donate, or exchange.

Since I SAH we don't have daycare costs and honestly, so far the cost has been pretty minimal. I know it will increase but so far I haven't really noticed a difference. DS is getting more formula now that I am decreasing my pumping but I'm able to use formula checks/deals to get it at a decent price.

I figure as DS gets older and needs more stuff (activities, etc) we will readjust our budget as we go along.

[awick14]

If you do stock up on diapers and you do it from a place like target they will take the diapers back usually even without a receipt. (So if it's been over the normal return time) They usually will just give you a gift card to the store instead of cash back. Then you can just turn around and buy the diapers you want.

We did wait until we felt we were financially ready to ttc. Then with all of our losses and life happening we were in our worst financial state when I found out I was pregnant with DD. But we are making it work, and our finances are starting to look better then they were before. 😊

I am excited for you. I hope that you figure the finances out and that you have a smooth ttc process.