Dog is in a mandatory quarantine at Sister's apartment per animal control. Sister is there too, and is housebound due to her post-op recovery. Her friend is coming over to walk the dog. Friend was/is a supporter of her getting a dog, and keeping it, despite what happened, so she is fully aware that this dog is dangerous, and apparently doesn't care.
I stayed at my brothers house until sister was home from the hospital and dog was gone from my parents' house. I made it clear to them that my children and I will never be in the same area as that animal. No family beach vacations, sister will not be welcome in my house, nothing. They agree.
My mom had made it clear to Sister that she will no longer have anything to do with the dog. Ever. For any reason. Not even popping over to walk it during the school day. She also laid it all out to her that keeping this animal will have irreversible consequences for Sister's relationship with our family. And that finding boarding for it when she goes out of town will be nearly impossible. Or doggy day-care. Or homeowners insurance. Not to mention the legal risk she will carry if she keeps it.
Niece is a little trooper. You'd never know anything was wrong until dressing change time. She's running and playing, but is definitely processing in her own way - lots of stuffed animals are getting band aids on their noses per request.
My mom is - not well. The day it happened I think she was in shock (a lot of what she was telling me seemed "not like her"). When that wore off, she basically shut down. I have never seen her like this. She has kept it together just enough to talk to sister and get her home from her surgery. Other than that, she's wrecked. I may extend my visit here because I am that worried about her.
Sister is "torn" about what to do, didn't even say she was sorry to my brother (she texted SIL, not her own brother) so fuck her. There aren't strong enough words to express my anger towards her on so many levels, so fuck.her.
Pdq.
Will check back when I can, people are getting up and about now, so this is a semi post and run.
I am so sorry she is still keeping the dog. I am glad your niece is doing ok. And glad your mom was clear with her the dog is not welcome. I am glad you are able to be there for your family. I am sorry this is happening.
In shock from witnessing the attack or shock from sort of waking up to who your sister really is? I'm so glad your niece is doing as well as can be expected. I hope your mom improves.
In shock from witnessing the attack or shock from sort of waking up to who your sister really is? I'm so glad your niece is doing as well as can be expected. I hope your mom improves.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Apr 8, 2017 7:54:17 GMT -5
I'm enraged and I'm not even part of your family.
I feel so awful for your brother's family. I mean, I don't know how I'd ever calm myself down from being in a murderous rage over your sister's actions/inactions. And even if she eventually gets rid of the dog, I don't know that I'd ever talk to her again due to the outrageousness on her part.
I hate her and don't even know her.
How are your brother and SIL handling all this? I'm glad your niece is doing so well after the attack. Poor baby.
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Post by Leeham Rimes on Apr 8, 2017 7:59:03 GMT -5
I hope your mom will keep her bottom line. She's enabled your sister for a long time, that's hard to turn off. My mother enables my father, she draws lines and then erases them and it makes me want to tear my hair out of frustration.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Post by RexManningDay on Apr 8, 2017 8:17:21 GMT -5
Ugh this is so shitty. Your sister just seems so unbelievably selfish and I feel awful for your neice and her parents.
As an anecdote, I was badly bitten in the face by my grandparents' dog when I was 2. I needed 20-some stitches. It was on the side of my cheek and neck, so that's nowhere near as visible as the nose, poor girl, but psychologically I was fine. I never developed a fear of dogs (maybe that was kinda dumb of me). I hope the same for her.
Post by polarbearfans on Apr 8, 2017 8:23:21 GMT -5
I cannot believe your sister is being so selfish and making a bad decision keeping the dog. I'm glad your niece is doing alright... I cannot imagine how scary that attack had to be for her and your mom. I'm glad your mom is standing up to her... hopefully she holds that position
Your mom's response doesn't surprise me in the least. Going on my experience with dog attacks, I'm certain this was incredibly traumatizing for her. I'm so glad that she stood up to your sister though and also let her know that this could have irreversible consequences for her family. I realize your sister is "torn," but at least your mom is standing up to her on this.
Continued good thoughts to your brother, SIL, and niece.
I'm still in disbelief at your sister's response to all of this.
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If she's not allowed to have pets in her current apartment, how is that going to work for the next month anyway? Surely someone will see the dog if she lives in a complex.
I just can't imagine being that attached to a dog I just adopted that did something awful. I think I'd understand a little more if it was one she'd had for years and was very bonded with (I think I'd still have a problem with her decision, but I'd understand how hard it would be to lose a dog you were bonded with). But a dog doesn't feel like a member of your family from day 1. I can't imagine choosing this one over my ACTUAL family.
Glad your niece is doing well, though. And I'm glad your mom has changed her tune.
Another anecdote. I was also bitten by a dog around the same age. The dog got me around the mouth, chin, cheek area. Like Rex I bounced back fine emotionally/psychologically. I never developed a fear of dogs either. I hope advances in plastic surgery help your niece. I'm so sorry this happened and that your sister is being a selfish asshole.
Another anecdote. I was also bitten by a dog around the same age. The dog got me around the mouth, chin, cheek area. Like Rex I bounced back fine emotionally/psychologically. I never developed a fear of dogs either. I hope advances in plastic surgery help your niece. I'm so sorry this happened and that your sister is being a selfish asshole.
Ditto - though I was 8, but got me on the nose and cheek. And it was our dog. I have permanent scars, but also never developed a fear of dogs. I hope your niece is so lucky. I'm glad she is doing so well right now.
I'm so angry about your sister, but it sounds like she doesn't have a very good grasp on many things. I'm glad your mom is on the same page as you and your brother/SIL.
Anecdote - when my mom's old dog was a puppy, she jumped on a golfer (mom lives on a course) and scratched the golfer with her teeth who reported the dog. Dog lived with a "dangerous dog" label for life. All because at 6 months old she got excited & the golfer was an asshole. There weren't any bite puncture wounds or open skin, it was simply an excited scratch. My mom's options for boarding were pretty limited. I hope things are a million times harder for your sister.
I'm glad there's been progress, and that your niece is on the mend. Do you think your Mom will stick with it?
Yes, I do.
I also picked a fight with this "friend" of sister's who posted a pic on FB of the dog snuggling my sister, with some cutesy caption about loving it's mama. Tagged Sister, so brother, SIL, and my mom saw it.
Maybe I shouldn't have, but I PMd her to please remove it, as the dog has traumatized people enough, and that supporting sister involves helping her separate from this animal, not fostering a connection. Her response was that she will post what she pleases, and sister can make her own decisions. I replied with a very blunt assessment of the situation, that this dog mauled my niece, and that Sister puts herself at significant legal risk in keeping it. No reply, other than she doesn't want to fight with me, and that there are ways of Sister getting the "dangerous dog" label removed.
So she can fuck directly off with that.
I'm pretty sure my mom will stick to it. She told me today she knows that keeping the dog may well be the end of any and all contact between my brother, SIL, and sister. And probably me as well. It kills her, but she also said she knows it's time that Sister owns her decision, and the consequences that come with them. If she picks a dog over family so be it.
I giggled and teared up a little at the same time at the band-aids on the stuffed animals' noses. What a resilient kid!
Lots of good thoughts and healing vibes to your niece, brother, SIL, and you and your mom. As PPs have said, maybe this is her moment of clarity that will stop her enabling her daughter.
I'm glad there's been progress, and that your niece is on the mend. Do you think your Mom will stick with it?
Yes, I do.
I also picked a fight with this "friend" of sister's who posted a pic on FB of the dog snuggling my sister, with some cutesy caption about loving it's mama. Tagged Sister, so brother, SIL, and my mom saw it.
Maybe I shouldn't have, but I PMd her to please remove it, as the dog has traumatized people enough, and that supporting sister involves helping her separate from this animal, not fostering a connection. Her response was that she will post what she pleases, and sister can make her own decisions. I replied with a very blunt assessment of the situation, that this dog mauled my niece, and that Sister puts herself at significant legal risk in keeping it. No reply, other than she doesn't want to fight with me, and that there are ways of Sister getting the "dangerous dog" label removed.
So she can fuck directly off with that.
I'm pretty sure my mom will stick to it. She told me today she knows that keeping the dog may well be the end of any and all contact between my brother, SIL, and sister. And probably me as well. It kills her, but she also said she knows it's time that Sister owns her decision, and the consequences that come with them. If she picks a dog over family so be it.
Take that PM shizz and post it on her page publicly