2 last names or 2 middle names?

[somersault72]

I got remarried in January. I'd like to still use my current last name some (mostly when it comes to DS--it's his last name) and possibly at work, I haven't decided. I don't know where I should put my current last name on the SS card form. I don't mind both names being on my SS card as a last name, but I don't want them both on my DL, credit cards, etc. Have any of you ever done this before? Can I legally be Somersault Middle currentlast marriedlast but not have 2 last names on EVERYTHING?

[TR]

I think you'd have to make it a middle name to avoid having it on everything. But I'm really only, like, 12% sure about this.

[juliachild]

I moved my maiden name to my middle name, so I have two middle names. I didn't change my name at work. No real problems. I typically only put my first initial on forms.

[MixedBerryJam]

Middle is your son's last name? It kind of sounds like you're only Mrs. DS'sLastname semi-informally where he is concerned, and on your business cards and work email, so I don't see why you couldn't just change to your new last name only on your DL and with SS and banks and whatnot, assuming that's what you want to do. I'd probably go with two middle names, personally, but I like consistency.You can always chanage your mind about school stuff the next time he changes schools.

ETA: When I was thinking about changing my name at work (which I actually didn't end up doing) my bank told me that I couldn't have direct deposit to an account name that was different from what was on my paycheck. That was a long time ago and things may have changed but it's the main reason I didn't change.

[Deleted]

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

My H has 2 last names (I only took the first of the two, which was his given last name). He honestly mostly goes by our shared name casually, but his DL, passport, and SS card all have both listed. I think because he uses the first last name more, nobody has ever questioned it when using a credit card or anything else with an ID, even though his DL doesn't exactly match what is listed on his CC. That being said, that's largely because he just changed his name a year ago and hasn't gotten around to updating things. I think any new official accounts that we open will have both of his names listed.

That sounded more complicated than it is IRL, lol.

[mysticmuffin]

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

This depends on what state your marriage certificate is from. Mine only lists my name on the date of marriage, nothing about the intention to change my name. 

[ladyk]

I had two middles. It was on my SS card and Drivers license (because they have to match in my state) and then I just told my creditors which middle initial to use and I was consistent in which one I used.

That being said, if I get married again, I'm about 97% sure I'm not changing my name again.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

My H has 2 last names (I only took the first of the two, which was his given last name). He honestly mostly goes by our shared name casually, but his DL, passport, and SS card all have both listed. I think because he uses the first last name more, nobody has ever questioned it when using a credit card or anything else with an ID, even though his DL doesn't exactly match what is listed on his CC. That being said, that's largely because he just changed his name a year ago and hasn't gotten around to updating things. I think any new official accounts that we open will have both of his names listed.

That sounded more complicated than it is IRL, lol.

in some states, CA, there's no where on the marriage license/certificate to list what your married name will be.

I never changed my name when I got married and dd has xh's last name. If I ever remarry, it's unlikely I'll change my name then either. I haven't had any problems w dd and I having different last names.

[UMaineTeach]

I went with 2 middles
SS card has 4 names on it e.g. Molly Felicity McIntire Merriman
Everything else says Molly Felicity Merriman.

[Deleted]

Apr 18, 2017 14:44:58 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

My H has 2 last names (I only took the first of the two, which was his given last name). He honestly mostly goes by our shared name casually, but his DL, passport, and SS card all have both listed. I think because he uses the first last name more, nobody has ever questioned it when using a credit card or anything else with an ID, even though his DL doesn't exactly match what is listed on his CC. That being said, that's largely because he just changed his name a year ago and hasn't gotten around to updating things. I think any new official accounts that we open will have both of his names listed.

That sounded more complicated than it is IRL, lol.

in some states, CA, there's no where on the marriage license/certificate to list what your married name will be.

I never changed my name when I got married and dd has xh's last name. If I ever remarry, it's unlikely I'll change my name then either. I haven't had any problems w dd and I having different last names.

I just got married in CA and had to put what my name was going to be on my application for the marriage license!

Of course 10 weeks later I'm still waiting for the certificate to come (thanks LA county...) but I know I double checked when I filled it out that I HAD TO make a decision on what my name was going to be. This sticks out because I was still feeling a little conflicted on whether or not I was going to change it, but I ended up going for it.

[AHappierHour]

Apr 18, 2017 14:44:58 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

My H has 2 last names (I only took the first of the two, which was his given last name). He honestly mostly goes by our shared name casually, but his DL, passport, and SS card all have both listed. I think because he uses the first last name more, nobody has ever questioned it when using a credit card or anything else with an ID, even though his DL doesn't exactly match what is listed on his CC. That being said, that's largely because he just changed his name a year ago and hasn't gotten around to updating things. I think any new official accounts that we open will have both of his names listed.

That sounded more complicated than it is IRL, lol.

in some states, CA, there's no where on the marriage license/certificate to list what your married name will be.

I never changed my name when I got married and dd has xh's last name. If I ever remarry, it's unlikely I'll change my name then either. I haven't had any problems w dd and I having different last names.

There was when I got married last year.

[smock]

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

That wasn't the case in the state where I married, or in the state where I legally changed my name. I was planning to do two middle names and I actually had to pick one at the SS office because there wasn't enough space for both. It was a weird moment because I was choosing between my mom's last name (my middle name) and my dad's last name (maiden name)--sorry, dad, I went with mom.

[Deleted]

Apr 18, 2017 14:41:33 GMT -5 mysticmuffin said:

Apr 18, 2017 14:39:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Well, first of all it might be too late for this. Did you change your name when you got married, on the marriage certificate? If so, you'll have to pay something separate to change it further now, and go through the court. You can't just decide what needs to go on your SS card, it has to match what your marriage certificate says.

This depends on what state your marriage certificate is from. Mine only lists my name on the date of marriage, nothing about the intention to change my name. 

I mean, this may be true - but I am pretty sure that if it doesn't state an intention to change a name, that means you can't change it unless you go through the court.

You fill out the marriage license and it asks for your current name and what your name will be after marriage. Then when the actual certificate arrives, it just lists your married name (IIRC) because it is already legally changed at that point. It gets legally changed the day of the ceremony, but then you have to update all your other legal documents to match it afterward.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I guess I stand corrected and they changed it. Back in 2007 you didn't have to state what your married name would be.

[mrs.jacinthe]

I'm First Middle Maiden Last. I use both my middle initials if I'm signing something hugely legal (like buying a house or something) but otherwise, I just sign first last for everything.

I had a bit of a kerfuffle with the SSA to get it done properly, but since then, I haven't had any real issues with it.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Apr 18, 2017 14:52:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Apr 18, 2017 14:41:33 GMT -5 mysticmuffin said:

This depends on what state your marriage certificate is from. Mine only lists my name on the date of marriage, nothing about the intention to change my name. 

I mean, this may be true - but I am pretty sure that if it doesn't state an intention to change a name, that means you can't change it unless you go through the court.

You fill out the marriage license and it asks for your current name and what your name will be after marriage. Then when the actual certificate arrives, it just lists your married name (IIRC) because it is already legally changed at that point. It gets legally changed the day of the ceremony, but then you have to update all your other legal documents to match it afterward.

pre 2009 CA, you didn't need to go through the court to change your name after marriage - you took your marriage license to SSA and request a new card w the new name and once you got the new SSA card then change your DL, etc.

eta - I'm sure to streamline the process and crack down on fraud they started asking for intended married name on the marriage license.

[sarahsays]

I moved my maiden to a second middle when I got married. My passport/SS card have my full name but everything else just has First and Last so I think that path could work for you too.

[Deleted]

Apr 18, 2017 15:44:29 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Apr 18, 2017 14:52:31 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

I mean, this may be true - but I am pretty sure that if it doesn't state an intention to change a name, that means you can't change it unless you go through the court.

You fill out the marriage license and it asks for your current name and what your name will be after marriage. Then when the actual certificate arrives, it just lists your married name (IIRC) because it is already legally changed at that point. It gets legally changed the day of the ceremony, but then you have to update all your other legal documents to match it afterward.

This is wild to me! I just signed my maiden name, then used the marriage certificate to change my SS name and then went from there.

IDK, maybe I'm nuts and I'm wrong. Lol. I got married in Iowa in 2009 and if I am recalling correctly, that's how it worked here. I got married in CA Feb 9th and I still don't even have my damned marriage certificate so who knows what it will say My understanding when I filled out the marriage license was the above, but now I am second guessing myself. I know I had to  choose my new name but I guess I don't know how it will be listed on the certificate.

[mysticmuffin]

Apr 18, 2017 16:10:44 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Apr 18, 2017 15:44:29 GMT -5 mofongo said:

This is wild to me! I just signed my maiden name, then used the marriage certificate to change my SS name and then went from there.

IDK, maybe I'm nuts and I'm wrong. Lol. I got married in Iowa in 2009 and if I am recalling correctly, that's how it worked here. I got married in CA Feb 9th and I still don't even have my damned marriage certificate so who knows what it will say My understanding when I filled out the marriage license was the above, but now I am second guessing myself. I know I had to  choose my new name but I guess I don't know how it will be listed on the certificate.

In Florida where we got married in 2014 I filled out the marriage license with my maiden name and that was it. What we got back was just a certified copy of the license with the county filing stamp on it.

From there, my experience was exactly like mofongo.

[yaga]

PA doesn't ask for the after wedding name, but NY does. I do wonder how it would work changing names in NY since I don't have a document written my married name on it (as it says to do on the dmv form).

I considered two last names, but someone I asked who did it said it ended up being a pain. If it's very long you could have issues with forms or documents, or just generally being a mouthful. (My last name is 9 letters, H's is 8. It would never fit on a form.)

However, my middle initial barely shows up on anything of mine (only passport and SS card), so if it's important to share a name with your son, I don't know if making it a middle name would help. (Like sharing a name to make school stuff easier? I don't know, I don't have kids.)

The babbling above is why I'm 3.5 years out from my wedding and still haven't made up my mind.

[somersault72]

FL didn't ask me what my name was going to be (nor did Ohio, the first time around). I think I'll just do 2 middles. Thanks everyone!!

[Captain Serious]

I have two middle names. It is confusing anytime I travel or do anything requiring legal paperwork in a country that typically uses two last names, because they just assume one of my middle names is a last name. Other than that, it works for me.

[bittybomb]

Apr 18, 2017 14:48:33 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

I went with 2 middles
SS card has 4 names on it e.g. Molly Felicity McIntire Merriman
Everything else says Molly Felicity Merriman.

We did this with our kids - they each have two middle names, with the second being my maiden name. Only their social security cards have the two middle names - at school they are first name first middle name last name.

[livinitup]

It's legal, as long as you don't use a different name/combination for the purpose of deceit, fraud or avoiding to pay a debt.

Just report your income and pay your taxes.

I have my maiden name on my bank account/ATM card, married on Drivers liscence, both on a credit card.

[isabel]

Apr 18, 2017 14:04:26 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Middle is your son's last name? It kind of sounds like you're only Mrs. DS'sLastname semi-informally where he is concerned, and on your business cards and work email, so I don't see why you couldn't just change to your new last name only on your DL and with SS and banks and whatnot, assuming that's what you want to do. I'd probably go with two middle names, personally, but I like consistency.You can always chanage your mind about school stuff the next time he changes schools.

ETA: When I was thinking about changing my name at work (which I actually didn't end up doing) my bank told me that I couldn't have direct deposit to an account name that was different from what was on my paycheck. That was a long time ago and things may have changed but it's the main reason I didn't change.

This may not be true. I go by my middle name and my work screwed up my paperwork, so my paycheck is Middle Last, while my bank account is First Middle Last. My checks get deposited fine. But maybe that's because my middle name is still on my bank account, so the check isn't totally different, just missing my first name.

[redwino]

I have 2 middle names and 2 last names. Don't do that. Lol. My SS card is the only thing that shows my whole name. The DMV told me it wouldn't all fit and that they couldn't put 2 last names in the last name box so my license is missing a middle name and the comma is in the wrong place. It's never been an issue. I kept a lot of credit cards in my maiden name out of laziness. It also hasn't been an issue.

If you want to keep your son's last name I would go with 2 last names. You can then use it when you want.