Invite neighborhood kids to 1st b-day?

[fortmyersbride]

DD's first b-day is in about 10days. We're going to grill out and have cake, and let the kids run around in the backyard (weather permitting). I had just invited family and a few friends with kids close to DD's age. But, we also just moved to the neighborhood and a few of my neighbors stopped by yesterday with a big welcome basket and said they can't wait to get the kids together to play (DS is close to their kids' ages). Would it be weird to turn around and say "thanks for the basket, want to come to a first birthday party next week? Their kids are all 4yrs old and up. We do have a big play structure in the backyard that they could all use.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't invite them to a party because they'll feel obligated to bring a gift (even if you say not to). I'd just set up a playdate.

[ECB]

Um.... my reaction is "no" only because it puts them in the position of having to bring a gift. I'd, instead, just plan a regular playdate soon (while the weather is nice).

This jus tseems like a pretty small party of people close to you - to invite people you really don't know... I don't know. I think there are better situations in which to do that.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't.

[fortmyersbride]

Yeah, I was kinda leaning towards no largely b/c I didn't want them to feel obligated to bring anything. But then I thought, since all of our backyards are one open space (no fences) would it be weird to be having a kids' party and not mention it?

Maybe I'll just have a little Halloween party next month and invite the neighbors then.

[ECB]

Sept 13, 2012 10:37:33 GMT -5 fortmyersbride said:

But then I thought, since all of our backyards are one open space (no fences) would it be weird to be having a kids' party and not mention it?

No, you aren't required to invite your entire neighborhood to every party (kid or non-kid related) you have!

Give yourself some time, meet the neighbors, their kids, and see how you like them/ get along, etc.

And also try to get a vibe for how the neighborhood as a whole "works".

[fortmyersbride]

Sept 13, 2012 11:01:46 GMT -5 ECB said:

Sept 13, 2012 10:37:33 GMT -5 fortmyersbride said:

But then I thought, since all of our backyards are one open space (no fences) would it be weird to be having a kids' party and not mention it?

No, you aren't required to invite your entire neighborhood to every party (kid or non-kid related) you have!

Give yourself some time, meet the neighbors, their kids, and see how you like them/ get along, etc.

And also try to get a vibe for how the neighborhood as a whole "works".

Lol, thanks. Our last several neighborhoods haven't been all that "friendly" (more of a mind your own business vibe) so friendly neighbors are a nice change.

I'm still flying back to work 2-3 times a month, so I think once that's over in the next few months then we'll really settle in and I'll have time to set up some playdates.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

[slug*bug]

It must be the area! We've landed in by far the friendliest (and most kid-friendly) neighborhood we've lived in and, in your shoes, I'd be tempted to extend an invite, too.

In the end, I'd probably hold off only b/c I wouldn't want them to feel like they needed to bring a gift. It's a good dilemma to have, though!

[Deleted]

I was going to say do it but then I read the other responses and I can see how it might put the neighbors in an awkward position of feeling obligated to bring a gift. So, I guess I'd just try to set up a playdate sometime soon at a different time. Happy birthday to your DD!

[ECB]

Sept 13, 2012 11:12:52 GMT -5 slug*bug said:

It's a good dilemma to have, though!

This is true! I live in a neighborhood that I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. But I'll admit- throwing a party can kind of be stressful. If it's a personal party, not a neighborhood party, there is the pressure of "what neighborhood people do I invite?".

It's a good problem to have, but stilll.... that's partially why I say "no". Don't start out of the gate putting yourself in the position of feeling that you now "have" to always include your neighbors. You may have parties occasionally that you don't want to.

[fortmyersbride]

Sept 13, 2012 11:12:52 GMT -5 slug*bug said:

It must be the area! We've landed in by far the friendliest (and most kid-friendly) neighborhood we've lived in and, in your shoes, I'd be tempted to extend an invite, too.

In the end, I'd probably hold off only b/c I wouldn't want them to feel like they needed to bring a gift. It's a good dilemma to have, though!

It must be the area! We've had so many people come by and drop off baked goods, say hi, offer to babysit. It's definitely a nice change

[slug*bug]

Sept 13, 2012 11:17:51 GMT -5 ECB said:

Sept 13, 2012 11:12:52 GMT -5 slug*bug said:

It's a good dilemma to have, though!

This is true! I live in a neighborhood that I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. But I'll admit- throwing a party can kind of be stressful. If it's a personal party, not a neighborhood party, there is the pressure of "what neighborhood people do I invite?".

It's a good problem to have, but stilll.... that's partially why I say "no". Don't start out of the gate putting yourself in the position of feeling that you now "have" to always include your neighbors. You may have parties occasionally that you don't want to.

Completely agree. I was just trying to explain this to DH last night: we're both really excited about the potential for GTGs etc. with our neighbors b/c there are four couples, all the same age, all close by and several of us have 3 year old boys. So it's exciting b/c DH and I both grew up in neighborhoods similar to this and it was fantastic.

That said, there was one crazy mom in our neighborhood when I was a kid. Even as a kid, I was like this . A lot. Think lots of birthday party invite drama, etc. (one of her kids was a daughter my age.) I'm sure the moms in my neighborhood did a lot of breath holding. I was telling DH last night that as awesome as our neighbors are (ETA: our street is 12-15 families, all with kids 0-9ish, so we're talking a big group), statistically, there's got to be one parent who's nutty, you know? You just don't know which one right away.

[cjeanette]

I say yes. DS was recently invited to a party for a kid on his soccer team after they had only met for 1 practice. I side-eyed for a second but it ended up being a great way for the kids to meet and for parents to meet. I picked up a $5 present at Target and called it good.

[minzy]

Maybe if the neighbors are around that day, you can play it by ear. As the party is winding down, knock and ask them if they want to come over for some cake. That way you're still being neighborly, and there's no pressure on them to buy a gift.

[8675309]

We have a big neighborhood filled with kids of all ages. We've lived here 5 years but it took us awhile before we knew who the crazies were. There are 4 couples/families that we LOVE. Our kids play and us moms & dads have tons in common. There are also a couple moms that I would rather gnaw my arm off than deal with. (Busy bodies/drama queens etc.)

Obviously I don't make this known but we just don't invite them. Apparently not inviting them to my DDs birthday party last year offended them. I was asked why we excluded them and it was SUPER awkward. So if you dont invite any neighbors I think you are safe.

I think your suggestion to have a Halloween GTG would be a much better way to get to know them. Then....you can weed out the crazies as you get to know them. haha!

[CloudBee]

Sept 13, 2012 11:15:23 GMT -5 @lilly said:

I was going to say do it but then I read the other responses and I can see how it might put the neighbors in an awkward position of feeling obligated to bring a gift. So, I guess I'd just try to set up a playdate sometime soon at a different time. Happy birthday to your DD!

This is where I'm at. I think it would be a great opportunity to meet the neighbors, are groups are often more comfortable. The gift aspect didn't cross my mind until I read the responses.

I might still be inclined to invite a few of them - being adamant that we did not want gifts.

[Ashley&Scott]

Separate play date, the Halloween party idea sounds fun