Spouses with anxiety

[chirpchirp]

This is a repost from the randoms last night. PDQ

H has been dealing with anxiety lately. I feel like I am doing a lousy of being a supportive spouse without getting overwhelmed myself with kid and house stuff (H has been rather checked out from that lately)
Does anyone have some advice for helping a spouse with anxiety?

[sunshineluv]

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[chirpchirp]

sunshineluv, that's exactly how I feel. I'm sorry you are dealing with it too

H has started working out and is waiting to hear back from a couple of therapists.

[fusion]

Ever had his vit D levels checked? There's a correlation with low levels and anxiety and with ya'll coming out of winter it could be a contributing factor.

[chirpchirp]

Good advice, fusion. I will mention it to him!

[Deleted]

Has he talked to any therapists or his regular doctor? Is he on any type of medicine to help?

PDQ but my husband was going through a really stressful work situation a few years ago. He went to his normal doctor and his doctor felt comfortable prescribing some medicine that was so helpful. I noticed a big change within a few weeks and so did he.

[sunshineluv]

Apr 24, 2017 8:11:25 GMT -5 fusion said:

Ever had his vit D levels checked? There's a correlation with low levels and anxiety and with ya'll coming out of winter it could be a contributing factor.

Say what? I did not know this... interesting.  DH has a vitamin D deficiency, and takes supplements. I will try to get him to get his levels checked again.

[chirpchirp]

@lindy, he has seen is primary care doc a couple of times now and is waiting to hear back from a couple therapists to make his first appointment. He really doesn't want to go on meds, but that is good to hear they had a positive effect on your H.

[fusion]

Apr 24, 2017 10:06:46 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Apr 24, 2017 8:11:25 GMT -5 fusion said:

Ever had his vit D levels checked? There's a correlation with low levels and anxiety and with ya'll coming out of winter it could be a contributing factor.

Say what? I did not know this... interesting.  DH has a vitamin D deficiency, and takes supplements. I will try to get him to get his levels checked again.

To support vitamin D absorption and have the body able to utilize it better you can add a good quality probiotic and a B complex, and make sure that he's getting healthy fats at the same time (can add an omega 3 pill) as vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin. 

[jsillyfun]

Good to know about vitamin D! My anxiety has been bad lately.

[CrazyLucky]

DH had anxiety and depression, but it was before kids. I can only imagine how much more difficult having kids would make it. DH is easily overwhelmed. We try to limit surprises by planning, lots of planning. And we keep the google calendar up to date. If we have a crazy weekend coming up, we'll talk about it and break it down. It's much easier to break it down like, "I'll take DS to baseball Saturday and you take DD. Then I'll take DD to the birthday party while you stay home with DS. We have to make an meal for the Smith family at church because they had their baby. We can do that after the kids are in bed on Saturday." The alternative is, "Boy, what a busy weekend - both kids have baseball, DD has a part, we have to make a meal, church on Sunday." That can be overwhelming for him.
But I don't know if that would have helped much when he was in the throes of it. He worked with a therapist and went through 3 drugs before he found one that helped and he still takes it.
Good luck, I know it's not easy.

[chirpchirp]

He ended up having blood work done today, so we'll know about vitD soon. Still haven't heard back from a therapist yet, which is frustrating.
He has been taking good steps to try and figure this out. I think what I'm most frustrated with is he's either consumed by anxiety or consumed with self-care and I find myself just running really low on patience.

[mlkgls]

PDQ

chirpchirp, I wish I had better advice, but I didn't want to read and not respond. (I could have written your last sentence and I struggle to find patience anymore, especially when DH doesn't handle it well or in a healthy manner.) Hopefully your H's therapist can provide him with several coping tools, but if he needs medication, it's nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn't have to be permanent. I've had this same discussion with my H ad nauseam.

I know how exhausting it can be and would encourage you to make sure you are taking care of yourself, in addition to everyone else. Big hugs.

[chirpchirp]

Thanks mlkgls. Hugs to you too!

[laurensmomma]

Well, in my relationship I'm the one with anxiety. What I have found helps is not drinking, taking vitamin D as well as magnesium supplements. I found a powdered magnesium supplement at a local place that I really, really like, and it makes a big difference in my mood and my sleeping. I hope he is able to find something that gives him some relief. I'm sure it's hard on you as well. Hugs.

[jg183]

Apr 25, 2017 20:11:49 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

Well, in my relationship I'm the one with anxiety. What I have found helps is not drinking, taking vitamin D as well as magnesium supplements. I found a powdered magnesium supplement at a local place that I really, really like, and it makes a big difference in my mood and my sleeping. I hope he is able to find something that gives him some relief. I'm sure it's hard on you as well. Hugs.

Interesting I've been slacking on vitamin d and magnesium and have been in a funk

[chirpchirp]

Thanks for the reply, laurensmomma! Hugs to you too. I will definitely pass the advice along to H

[creamsiclechica]

I'm sorry you're going through this, chirp chirp, and I just wanted to send you some love for reaching out about helping him!

[chirpchirp]

Thanks creamsiclechica  (heart)

[laurensmomma]

Apr 25, 2017 21:05:18 GMT -5 jg183 said:

Apr 25, 2017 20:11:49 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

Well, in my relationship I'm the one with anxiety. What I have found helps is not drinking, taking vitamin D as well as magnesium supplements. I found a powdered magnesium supplement at a local place that I really, really like, and it makes a big difference in my mood and my sleeping. I hope he is able to find something that gives him some relief. I'm sure it's hard on you as well. Hugs.

Interesting I've been slacking on vitamin d and magnesium and have been in a funk

I for sure notice a difference as well. The stuff I buy is from New Seasons. Love it.

[jg183]

Apr 25, 2017 21:22:34 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

Apr 25, 2017 21:05:18 GMT -5 jg183 said:

Interesting I've been slacking on vitamin d and magnesium and have been in a funk

I for sure notice a difference as well. The stuff I buy is from New Seasons. Love it.

This rain...

[laurensmomma]

Apr 25, 2017 21:24:51 GMT -5 jg183 said:

Apr 25, 2017 21:22:34 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

I for sure notice a difference as well. The stuff I buy is from New Seasons. Love it.

This rain...

Seriously, lol. So done.

[chirpchirp]

Apr 24, 2017 10:34:56 GMT -5 fusion said:

Apr 24, 2017 10:06:46 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Say what? I did not know this... interesting.  DH has a vitamin D deficiency, and takes supplements. I will try to get him to get his levels checked again.

To support vitamin D absorption and have the body able to utilize it better you can add a good quality probiotic and a B complex, and make sure that he's getting healthy fats at the same time (can add an omega 3 pill) as vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin. 

He got his blood test results back this afternoon and vitD was really low so he's going to start supplements and he's going to try your suggestions too. Thanks for the helpful advice!

[fusion]

Apr 28, 2017 20:28:39 GMT -5 chirpchirp said:

Apr 24, 2017 10:34:56 GMT -5 fusion said:

To support vitamin D absorption and have the body able to utilize it better you can add a good quality probiotic and a B complex, and make sure that he's getting healthy fats at the same time (can add an omega 3 pill) as vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin. 

He got his blood test results back this afternoon and vitD was really low so he's going to start supplements and he's going to try your suggestions too. Thanks for the helpful advice!

I hope he sees a difference!