2-year-old pees in the street, mom gets ticket

[80sjunkie]

usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/09/13/13845857-mom-gets-ticket-after-2-year-old-son-pees-in-the-street?lite

I'm not a mom, so I'd love to hear your thoughts...

[Deleted]

I didn't link the article... but I'd be screwed. The number of times we've been out with no bathroom in sight and I've told my boys to go find a bush. I'm thankful I have boys instead of girls for this reason alone.

[ECB]

I want to know more too. I'd like to see the area where they were, why did the officer give the ticket (beyond the obvious).

I haven't been confronted with this situation, but realistically, this kind of crap happens w/ young kids. They wait until the last minute. And she DID try to find a restroom.

But at the same time - I'd have tried to find a more secluded place, I think, than a light pole. This is why, though, I'd like to see where they were before passing judgement.

[rootbeerfloat]

There have been a few times where we weren't close enough to a bathroom, so DS had to pee in a bush. We've usually found some place secluded, though. I would be so embarrassed if anyone saw us, much less a police officer who could give us a ticket. I would be pissed to pay the $50, but I would want public scrutiny even less.

And DD can just as easily pee outside. She learned from her older brother

[liveintheville]

I'm more impressed that she's managed to get her 2 year old son potty trained already.

[Deleted]

I think she should have gotten a ticket. She was 5 blocks from home & in an urban area--either go to another store or let the kid pee his pants & walk home wet. Whipping it out & pissing in public is not cool at any age. Doesn't sound like she tried to hide him behind a bush or go behind an alley/look out to make sure noone was watching. I wouldn't let my 2yr old squat in a grassy patch in an urban area & pee--if my DD didn't make it to the bathroom her pants would be wet & lesson would be learned. This has happened many times. I don't care if dogs or homeless people (who are legitimately barred from using plenty of private restrooms & don't have the $ to pay fines) are doing it. Sounds like with an OB baby delivering Daddy they can afford it.

[honeybee]

Things happen. Its a two year old. My cop fiance agrees this cop was just being a jerk.

[CloudBee]

Wrong. He went on a "grassy patch" in a city. I agree with carolbrady - his mom should have run down the sidewalk with and found another store/restaurant for him to go, or dealt with wet pants. I would feel differently if they were in a more rural area, or along the wooded edge of a park.

[CloudBee]

Sept 13, 2012 14:53:33 GMT -5 honeybee said:

Things happen. Its a two year old. My cop fiance agrees this cop was just being a jerk.

"Things happen" when the kid does it on his own, and isn't give instruction to do so by his parent. I saw a toddler once turn his back while playing mini golf, and pee on the fence. His parents were mortified. In that instance, I think a ticket would have been wrong.

However, in this situation, the mother had specifically told him to pee in the middle of the city. 5 blocks from home, walking down the street as a 2 yr old with wet pants is far more appropriate.

I'm assuming that her discussion with the cop persuaded him to give her a ticket, as she probably said "I told him to pee there". Thus placing the blame on herself, not her son.

Had she been actively telling him "don't pee there", and apologized as the officer walked up, I'm betting she wouldn't have gotten a ticket.

[honeybee]

Sept 13, 2012 14:58:40 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Sept 13, 2012 14:53:33 GMT -5 honeybee said:

Things happen. Its a two year old. My cop fiance agrees this cop was just being a jerk.

"Things happen" when the kid does it on his own, and isn't give instruction to do so by his parent. I saw a toddler once turn his back while playing mini golf, and pee on the fence. His parents were mortified. In that instance, I think a ticket would have been wrong.

However, in this situation, the mother had specifically told him to pee in the middle of the city. 5 blocks from home, walking down the street as a 2 yr old with wet pants is far more appropriate.

I'm assuming that her discussion with the cop persuaded him to give her a ticket, as she probably said "I told him to pee there". Thus placing the blame on herself, not her son.

Had she been actively telling him "don't pee there", and apologized as the officer walked up, I'm betting she wouldn't have gotten a ticket.

He's 2! A 2 year old who has to go has to go. I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the wet pants and inevitable tears from discomfort that would have followed either.

Its not like she's potty training her son to go outside. Or to pee in public normally. She was avoiding a mess and an accident. She did say they tried to use the store's restroom and they wouldn't allow it.

[CloudBee]

Sept 13, 2012 15:02:18 GMT -5 honeybee said:

He's 2! A 2 year old who has to go has to go. I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the wet pants and inevitable tears from discomfort that would have followed either.

Its not like she's potty training her son to go outside. Or to pee in public normally. She was avoiding a mess and an accident. She did say they tried to use the store's restroom and they wouldn't allow it.

Sorry, as a former nanny who has potty trained 2 yr olds, I think that wet pants and tears are part of the learning experience. It happens.

I honestly don't think that wet pants during a 5 block walk home are a big deal. That's not a huge mess to deal with. It can be remedied with a a few wipes and a change of pants - and possibly throwing a pair of shoes into the wash or shower.

Having wet pants on a 5 block walk home is the lesser evil when compared to having your son pee on a patch of grass in the middle of a city, presumably along a sidewalk.

[fortmyersbride]

I could see this both ways. Actually, I would like to see where it took place b/c I have to believe that there was a better spot (alley, bushes, somethings?) close by. And what store denies a kid their bathroom? I mean I know many places have that as their official policy, but I've never been turned away when I had a toddler doing the "gotta pee" dance--shouldn't they worry the kid might have an accident in their store instead?

I think I'd feel worse for her if she'd tried to be a bit more discreet about the whole thing.

[dochas]

I'm leaning towards 'glad she got a ticket'. I once saw a woman open the doors between cars on a moving subway and make her toddler pee onto the tracks. Maybe that's clouding my judgement but I feel like potty training is your problem. Stick close to home until it's finished. This kid just ate and since he was in a restaurant probably drank way more than usual. Take him home and get to the toilet. And if he really couldn't wait - he would have wet his pants.

[noonecareswhoiam]

My DS#2 has a great love of peeing in the outdoors and I have to discourage it. I do occasionally bust him mid-pee. He is now 4.

When he was almost 3, we were trapped by snowbanks in the McDonald's drive-through and I had to get him out of his car seat to pee in the snow. Wet pants are one thing, but DH would hve FREAKED if the kid had peed in his car. The dude behind me said something, but there was no way out.

[iheartbanjos]

I had a kid that was potty trained at 22 months and we'll be out and about when she has to go. We've always managed to find a bathroom, even if we're in a park or walking down the street. Granted, I have a DD, but I would encourage planning ahead and teaching a lesson about waiting too long, especially if we were only 5 blocks from home and could easily run home to change clothes.

[bronxgirl]

Sept 13, 2012 15:08:32 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Sept 13, 2012 15:02:18 GMT -5 honeybee said:

He's 2! A 2 year old who has to go has to go. I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the wet pants and inevitable tears from discomfort that would have followed either.

Its not like she's potty training her son to go outside. Or to pee in public normally. She was avoiding a mess and an accident. She did say they tried to use the store's restroom and they wouldn't allow it.

Sorry, as a former nanny who has potty trained 2 yr olds, I think that wet pants and tears are part of the learning experience. It happens.

I honestly don't think that wet pants during a 5 block walk home are a big deal. That's not a huge mess to deal with. It can be remedied with a a few wipes and a change of pants - and possibly throwing a pair of shoes into the wash or shower.

Having wet pants on a 5 block walk home is the lesser evil when compared to having your son pee on a patch of grass in the middle of a city, presumably along a sidewalk.

I agree with CloudBee. Initially I was team mom b/c I know how hard it can be with a toddler who has to pee, but wet pants for five blocks is not a big deal and will likely happen a lot in the course of potty training. Sometimes it happens to us with a diaper that was fuller than we realized. However, I think the cop could have given a warning rather than a ticket.

[takeonyou]

I am team cop. It is an urban area. Maybe I am biased since it is my city, BUT -- I don't care if it was a kid or an adult. Pissing on a grassy patch between the sidewalk and street is effing gross.

Ok, you have a newly potty trained 2 year old and are at the diner. What is the LAST thing any mom would ask the kid before leaving? "Do you need to go potty?" And if she didn't, it is totally her fault. My kid has peed in wooded areas before, but not in the middle of a public street. Big difference. And the homeless argument makes NO sense. The homeless have no choice. Let the kid have an accident -- it won't scar him forever. And FWIW, I am trained in ECE as well. That mom is a dope.

[Deleted]

Team Mom. This is not a big deal.

[statlerwaldorf]

I am team mom. He's only 2. The well he should've thought about that and have to walk home with wet pants seems kind of cruel for a kid that age. Plus if he's anything like my DD he might not have been able to pee right after eating/drinking when leaving the restaurant, but it will hit him 30 minutes or so later.

When I lived in an urban area, most of the little stores did not have restrooms available for the public.

The one thing I don't understand is that if the clothing store was across the street from the restaurant, why didn't they go back to the restaurant?

[fakejew]

I agree that it's cruel to make a 2 y/o walk 5 blocks with urine in his underpants, shorts, socks and shoes b/c he's 2, has the bladder of a 2 y/o and the store wouldn't let them use the restroom.

While I'm sure technically correct, that was a dick move on the part of the cop. He could have given her a warning or something else less dickish.

I've been that mom in the store asking if I can use their (non-customer) restroom for my newly p/ted kid. I'm honestly not sure what I would have done if they had said no. I highly doubt I would have forced my kid to pee his pants and then walk home in that state. I may have kept looking for a place that would let him use their bathroom long enough that it just ended up happening anyway. i'm so thankful I've never been put in that situation.

[hannamaren]

I just want to make an excuse for the store. We never let anyone use our washroom for one reason - they could hurt themselves. There are boxes and shelves and stuff they could trip on. The bathroom has a mop in it, etc. unfortunately, you have to think liability sometimes.
We have let people use it, but usually we dont. If they hurt themselves and sue, the first question my boss would ask is "why did you let them pee."
I am team Mom. 5 blocks is a long way.