Ex getting married

[3dogdays]

I need to put this somewhere and I don't know where else to do it. I found out tonight my ex got engaged. To the woman he started seeing before our marriage ended. It's just over a year since I moved out and barely 9 months since our divorce was final.

This feels so unfair. He cheats on me with 3 different woman and less than a year later he gets his 'happy ending' while I'm single and haven't even been out on a date.

I tried to take the high road for my daughters sake but I wish he would suffer a quarter of the pain he had caused me. I don't even want him back. I just want the comfort of a relationship. I'm so frustrated. And to top it off, he's bitching about his child support amount he agreed to because he took a pay cut and expected it to automatically adjust. So he acts like the 'system' is flawed. Not his own stupidity.

I'm so lost in how to co-parent with someone I wish would just disappear for my sake but I don't want my daughter to suffer. I just don't know the right thing to do anymore.

[doriswe]

Huge hugs!! I think a lot of us have been there. I've struggled with those same thoughts a lot. But the reality was (and still is) I am more focused on healing and making healthy relationship choices that I won't settle for anything less than that. My xh, however, is not and has never bothered to work through his shit. He'd rather jump into a new relationship and become who they need him to be to avoid taking any ownership in his messes.

Fwiw, I know it's awful but you're doing the right thing by not jumping into relationship after relationship. And you know as well as I do this isn't a healthy relationship he's getting into, because he's not healthy. And you're getting there. High roads are shitty but worth it, I promise!!

I hope this makes sense...slept like crap for 2 days and might not be firing on all cylinders!!

[doriswe]

Oh and the best advice I have for coparenting is turn it into a business relationship. You're in the business of raising an amazing kid. Business partnerships don't get emotional. They focus on the bigger picture. Taking the feelings out of it helps make better decisions. Don't discuss anything but logistical kid things with him. And if he says something inflammatory, wait a day or so to respond and only respond to matters of business related to the kiddo.

[Crystal]

I could have almost written this same exact post. 5/10 was our 1 year "divorce-a-versary". My ex got "engaged" in January, to a woman he met online in December, WHILE trying to reconcile with me. He was also dating before I moved out. Men suck, plain and simple.

I'm thankful we don't have a young child together (my DD is 19 and not his bio child, but he raised her and she wants nothing to do with him because of the way he treated her during the divorce).

But yes, it's SO hard to see them move on and get their happy ending while we're picking up the pieces and getting ourselves together. Just remember - they don't change. It will happen again. Be thankful YOU broke the cycle and got away.

[doglove]

Hugs.

[racegrrl714]

((hugs))

[cuadrado]

I'm sorry you're going through that. Sending you hugs!

Also, just because he is getting remarried does not mean that he is getting his happy ending. I find it hard to believe that someone who cheats on his wife 3x in a year is going to make an awesome new husband.

[daisyn]

Jun 17, 2017 16:09:53 GMT -5 cuadrado said:

I'm sorry you're going through that. Sending you hugs!

Also, just because he is getting remarried does not mean that he is getting his happy ending. I find it hard to believe that someone who cheats on his wife 3x in a year is going to make an awesome new husband.

Agree with this
my ex-h got married 2 years after our divorce was final and now he's getting divorced for the third time (I was #2)

[Saint Monica]

3dogdays, do you see this mere act as a sign of success? It isn't. He will just do as he do. That hasn't worked out for him so well thus far.

((hugs))