Tuesday Things

[luv2rn4fun]

I am irrationally annoyed. Our neighbor is getting new tile in two bathrooms (leak in one and remodel in another). Their contractor is cutting the tile in their front yard grass. So between it being so close to our house and our horrible windows the noise is so loud even the white noise doesn't block it out of the boys rooms. I don't care about C not napping but L has to nap. Hopefully he pulls through and sleeps well because last night was not a great night for him and he's already cranky (teething too so that doesn't help). I guess I am more annoyed that I asked and they moved yesterday but are back out front today. No cars are in the garage so not sure why they have to do it out front.

Also, today is 7 weeks since my moms death and I have been having a harder time with it. I found out through my aunt that my mom was in contact with her ex boyfriend (who she was also angry with) the last 6 months or so and was working on forgiving him and getting back to friendship status. It makes me question why she didn't do the same with me and makes me really sad if she believed that I really didn't want her in our life. I friended said boyfriend on FB and had to turn on my old phone to get his number. I finally read our last text exchanges to each other from her birthday and Mother's Day last year and it made all my sad feelings even more intense. Tuesday's are hard days right now...which ironically was the same day of the week we had our first loss and I remember hating tuesdays for awhile.

[luv2rn4fun]

Those who have replaced windows...did you have to get a city permit?

We have to get HOA approval and city permit. All windows are pure replacement to the existing frame, even the new French doors (which is currently a slider). So far I have called the city and HOA and haven't gotten very far (waiting for HOA to return my call and email so they can start their process, which is needed before anything can be done at the city).

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) ewall. That sounds like such a hassle. Oops on the work data...

All the contractors seemed to think that our city was a special case where they won't do the work without city permit. Called the city and they want me to draw up a floor plan with all the specifications for each window. That should be fun...like I have nothing better to do. Somehow I don't think our neighbors got approval and just did it (because I asked if they got HOA approval and they said they didn't, which means they didn't get city approval since the city requires HOA approval). We will obviously do it but it seems like such a pain.

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun The people that did our windows took care of the permit.

[MrsMB]

((luv2rn4fun)) I'm sending you so many hugs. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this on top of your grief...so sorry.

[wanderingenough]

Hugs luv2rn4fun. I'm so sorry you have to deal with stupid annoyances on top of everything else.

[MrsMB]

@
It's confirmed.....they really are trying to hire for every frickin open position that has possibly been on hold the last few years before I go out on maternity leave. I thought I might be crazy for thinking it but no. Our training manager asked me, "So, we've had off-cycle start dates on TOP of our normal orientation the last 3 months and we don't normally do that....." Yeah....I'm having a baby so all heck is breaking lose until I leave. I guess I should feel flattered that they're trying to maximize my time until I leave? I'm going to actually take a lunch break tomorrow. Everyone can kiss it...

[awick14]

((luv2rn4fun)) I'm sorry your having a hard time. We do need a permit from the city but if you have a company install the windows they do that for you here.

That's such a pain ewall.

I'm going to be doing laundry for days... the worse part of camping lil

[estrellita]

I was posting quickly, forgot I also wanted to offer lots of *hugs* luv2rn4fun! I can't imagine the emotions you've been feeling, not just in the last few weeks but before too when you started having issues with your mom. <3

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) MrsMB. I vote lunch every day...you need to take care of you and baby and they need to learn to function without you. Hang in there friend.

awick14- good luck with laundry. I am so impressed you have been camping. I can't wait to go again...we have yet to go since C but maybe next year!?!

Thanks ladies. wanderingenough- you said it perfectly, stupid annoyances that are probably worse with all I have going on. estrellita- it has been a really long couple years with my mom. All this started 2 years ago (almost exactly). I feel like I grieved a lot the first year and then got to a place of acceptance while holding out hope. I had planned to send her a Mother's Day card again this year and maybe that would have been our turning point. I read through all her texts (except the bad ones, which are deleted) and I guess I will never understand how we went from such a good place to not talking to each other (even though the last communications were very loving on both ends). Even though I grieved then I think lately I am just beginning to understand that I will never see her, talk to her, or hug her again. I miss her so much. I saw something on FB that said for moms to be in the pictures with their kids because one day that is all we will have and want...so true (and my mom was notorious for dodging pictures)!

[wanderingenough]

luv2rn4fun - I can't imagine. I'm so sorry!

[estrellita]

Huh. Just found out one of my ex's mom died recently. I dated the guy for almost a year, not the best relationship but I loved his mom. She was so sweet. I haven't seen her (or him) in years but I'm sad to hear about it!

[katespade]

(((luv2rn4fun))) I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

I don't know what your beliefs are regarding afterlife and whatnot, but after H's best friend passed away I found a lot of comfort in talking to him. I had some heavy regrets about not spending time with him before he deployed, and that weighed on me for a long time. I still talk to him sometimes, especially if I feel like H needs his support. I know his spirit is still around and I know he'll always be looking out for H, and it's really comforting to acknowledge that presence.

I hope that doesn't sound too crazy. It's probably does, but oh well. lol.

[grover]

MrsMB that sucks. Take a lunch every day. Baby needs it and so do you.

awick14 I love camping but growing up us kids would try to run and hide as soon as we pulled into the driveway to avoid having to unload the trailer and clean it.


H is trying to have me put A to bed earlier because I'm about to head to the movies with other mom's from my mom's group. Lucky for him she skipped her afternoon nap and is tired. Unlucky for him I'm making him do the bedtime routine but I'm supervising and giving suggestions (he stated that I have the magic bedtime touch.)

[MrsMB]

grover thank you ) I should clarify that I certainly eat..just at my desk while working.

[estrellita]

katespade I've done that too with friends that have passed. I don't even know what I believe but it does help, especially at first. I also feel comforted when I see them in my dreams. It hasn't happened recently but it was nice when it did.

Also, total @ tangent here - how many of the WC people are over on GetP again?! I accidentally clicked over there and saw a few people I didn't know about Excited for everyone!

[krystee]

I thought I was ready to TTC again, but we hung out a lot with my newborn nephew this week and OMG. I don't think I can do that again! He is adorable and amazing and I love him, but I had blocked the whole living in two-hour increments thing out of my memory. And I have no idea how people care for a crazy toddler or preschooler plus a newborn, and how you get enough sleep when you're not able to nap in the daytime! I am officially petrified of trying for number 2. We have been traveling with DS (who turned 2 at the end of March) this week, and other than the two teething scream-fests, it has been so amazing. We can take him anywhere and he can skip naps easily, or catches up on sleep in the car...he has gone to bed at 8 some nights and 10 other nights, with no issues...I am loving this age and I don't know if I can go back!

[luv2rn4fun]

katespade- I totally talk to my mom (and did my babies as well). Mostly when I hear a song that reminds me of her, I see the bunnies, and silently/mentally while nursing L at night. I feel her presence a lot and it definitely brings me comfort. But I also have deep regrets, even though I know logically that I did all I could to mend our relationship. I do feel it could have been healed, we just needed more time (but I guess this is all part of Gods plan and it wasn't meant to be healed this side of heaven). When we lost our babies all I wanted was for my mom to be a grandma and to have as much time with her grandkids as possible. The fact that she lived as long as she did and missed out on so much is really sad...I hurt for her and my boys mostly. I wish C would have had that time with her (L too but he's really not old enough) and my mom that time with him.

krystee- all normal feelings. Totally normal if you decide to be OAD too. All I have to say is that the really hard newborn phase is just that...a phase. L is 8 months old on Sat and I can finally see the light. Also, I do feel a little bigger gap would have made it a little easier (so you have that going for you). It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been all that bad as well. I have been solo during the week from wake up to bedtime with both boys and I am still wishing DH would agree to a third 😀 As much as I don't love the newborn phase (although I totally miss L being a snuggly baby!! C too!) it all goes by so fast and the good outweighs the bad parts. I am tired but know that I will sleep some day. Both boys nap at the same time right now (the great thing about toddlers is you can enforce quiet time and they are a little more adaptable and don't have to nap at a certain time...so I usually have C nap when L naps and it works most days) and I still choose to spend that time working out or relaxing vs sleeping. The best part is seeing them play together...it makes me love C even more watching him be such a great big brother (when he's not frustrated and hitting him) and I love how much L adores C and thinks he is the coolest person ever 😀

[bk1]

luv2rn4fun Big hugs girl. I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. I've been keeping you in my T&Ps.

krystee Nothing wrong with whatever you decide. I hated G's newborn phase and did not want another baby for quite a while. I will say I have loved having a newborn much more this time because I know how fast it goes by. And it really feels like it has gone by much faster. For me the first 4/5 months were the hardest.

[estrellita]

krystee I know the feeling. I'm equal parts excited for #2 and wondering what the hell I'm getting myself into! I just hope certain things go better this time around because I'm definitely scared of having a rough time like I did in E's first weeks. I'm trying to focus on doing things differently but remembering things will be ok!

[melsamoony]

luv2rn4fun so many hugs!

[awick14]

@ related. I'm jealous people are TTC again. I want a second so bad but we have to wait until at least next April. (I have to work 6 months after coming back from leave, go back in nov, other wise I have to pay back my employer my leave pay.) I don't want to risk having to go back off on leave again at the beginning of my pregnancy due to another bleed.

And besides you ladies with 2 under 2 amazes me. How do you do that? Lol

[estrellita]

awick14 I'm scared enough about 2 under 3 (for like 2 months), I couldn't imagine already having another! Takes a lot of patience I don't have, lol.

[luv2rn4fun]

May 24, 2017 16:49:08 GMT -5 awick14 said:

@ related. I'm jealous people are TTC again. I want a second so bad but we have to wait until at least next April. (I have to work 6 months after coming back from leave, go back in nov, other wise I have to pay back my employer my leave pay.) I don't want to risk having to go back off on leave again at the beginning of my pregnancy due to another bleed.

And besides you ladies with 2 under 2 amazes me. How do you do that? Lol

((Hugs)). Sorry you have to wait 🙁 I am also jealous of people TTC again. I could easily be up for it in a couple months. I will say that I am glad I had the time with C before L was born. Now that there are two of them it's hard to have enough quality time with either of them, especially L.

It was a hard few months but I would do it all over again. It's nice that they are close in age.