Post by vanillacourage on Jun 6, 2017 14:57:16 GMT -5
DS just turned 9 and every year has had a quick check of his genitals at his annual well-child appt. He's a private kid and last year was rough - he ended up acquiescing but was crying and very worked up. His next appt is tomorrow AM and I know this year will be worse.
Is this a standard of care, or does your experience vary? I will "make" him do it if it's standard because there's value in learning as he ages about the need for health checks even if they're awkward....but I'm also balancing that against agency over his own body if it turns out our pediatrician is being conservative or old-school. Thoughts?
DS1 is 7. At his well child check in March, the doctor did not check his junk. He actually didn't do any physical type stuff, and said he doesn't do regular physicals for kids after 5 years old. But he may be an outlier on the physicals spectrum.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Jun 6, 2017 15:08:46 GMT -5
My boys (6 and 4) have a gential check as well.
If it's really messing with him mentally, I'd read about the hows and whys this kind of an exam is necessary for health reasons. At first search, this is for teens but I have to assume its still somewhat applicable ..?http://m.kidshealth.org/en/teens/testicles.html?WT.ac=
If he's still adverse maybe have a talk with the doctor before the appointment. I'd hate for him to feel he has no body autonomy but at the same time, sometimes we have to have hands up certain places for the benefit of our health.
Maybe the doctor can tell him why it's important but if he's still adverse, your son needs to self check on whatever frequency is deemed necessary.
I'm sure your son isn't the first patient of the doctor to feel this way.
Last Edit: Jun 6, 2017 15:16:52 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
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DS1 is 11. His ped will take a really quick peek (like a second or two), but she does check.
That's a tough question. Is it possible to include a message on his well-child paperwork you hand to the nurse for the doctor to review prior to the appointment? Something like, "Having his genitals checked is very upsetting to him. Do you have a different approach you might try? Is the check necessary?"
My son just had his 9 year check up last week. Dr did take a peek, but just by pulling out his underwear and looking in quickly. It was accompanied by a talk about how she's only doing it bc mom is in the room, and adults shouldn't normally be looking or touching his body in that way.
He was super embarrassed, but it was mercifully quick.
huh. well, maybe my doctor is extremely hands-off. Once it's been confirmed that the testicles are descended, why do doctors need to do a genital check in young boys?
Post by jeaniebueller on Jun 6, 2017 15:15:38 GMT -5
My DS is 8 and the ped usually just peeks down his underwear and that's it. Does he tell you what he is worried about assuming they are just taking a look? Poor kid. Going to the doctor is no fun.
huh. well, maybe my doctor is extremely hands-off. Once it's been confirmed that the testicles are descended, why do doctors need to do a genital check in young boys?
Are you serious? Because doctors have to look for signs of abuse/illness/etc and checking the genitalia is part of that.
DD's Ped does a quick check of hers she caught a patch of ecxema I had missed one time.
DS1 is 10 and DS2 is 5 - they both have the check done at each appointment. Before she checks she gives a quick "I'm going to check your penis and testicles to make sure all of your body is healthy. You know that this area is private but it's ok since I am your doctor" etc. It takes about 5 seconds.
DS1 has had no issues with it yet. I did have a quick chat with our pedi after his last appointment juts to see if she typically saw either discomfort or her male patients wanting to switch to a male pediatrician at a certain age. I was a little surprised when she said no, that usually her patients were fine staying through teenage years. I like her a lot but I do have a male pediatrician I know that I will switch to if the kids decide they would rather have a male. I remember wanting to have a female Dr once I was a teenager.
My son just had his 9 year check up last week. Dr did take a peek, but just by pulling out his underwear and looking in quickly. It was accompanied by a talk about how she's only doing it bc mom is in the room, and adults shouldn't normally be looking or touching his body in that way.
He was super embarrassed, but it was mercifully quick.
My son just had his 9 year check up last week. Dr did take a peek, but just by pulling out his underwear and looking in quickly. It was accompanied by a talk about how she's only doing it bc mom is in the room, and adults shouldn't normally be looking or touching his body in that way.
This is how our pedi handles it. He's 6 now and she's been his doctor from birth but she's asked his consent and explained it that way since he was out of diapers. It is very quick.
It's a hard balance because I see wanting DS to have autonomy over his body and understand that it's important to say when he feels uncomfortable but I think a lot of people are also embarrassed to report symptoms in "private parts" and I also want DS to know that it's OK to talk to a doctor about that and to make sure all parts of him are healthy.
I can remember having this type of check and not being comfortable with my first pediatrician, a man, and I do not remember my mom being in the room, but that could be wrong.
Post by JayhawkGirl on Jun 6, 2017 15:30:26 GMT -5
Once consideration- is your pediatrician a woman, and if so, would he feel more comfortable with a male doctor? I love our pediatrician, but am also glad to really like a couple of the other doctors in the practice, including one of the male doctors, to have that choice for the kids as they get older. My younger self wouldn't see a male OB/GYN.
It's a hard balance because I see wanting DS to have autonomy over his body and understand that it's important to say when he feels uncomfortable but I think a lot of people are also embarrassed to report symptoms in "private parts" and I also want DS to know that it's OK to talk to a doctor about that and to make sure all parts of him are healthy.
I get this and that is why it is important to stress as to why this is important, even if it comes with some discomfort. As women, you eventually have to have yearly, invasive health checks and men do too. I think the earlier you can make this "normal" and simply part of what we must to do stay healthy, the better.
All that said, I also think it is key to have a doctor that you are comfortable with, even as a kid. When I was switched to a female pediatrician, I remember feeling such relief. I think that is an important element too.
Post by vanillacourage on Jun 6, 2017 15:42:50 GMT -5
Thanks all. The person we saw last year both pulled his underwear low* (while he was laying on the table) and examined him physically - gently pushing near the testicles. It was over in 5 seconds but DS was so upset. He's a healthy kid so we don't have a "relationship" with the pedi - this is his 1st appt since last year's annual checkup.
*not like down to his knees - she sort of flipped it down at the elastic with one hand while examining with the other.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jun 6, 2017 15:53:34 GMT -5
My kids are adults now, but it was right around 10 or so that the doctor had me leave the room for that part. Would offering that as an option help? It wasn't anything the doctor told me about beforehand; just that first one, she said, okay, mom, I'm going check his genitalia or something similarly clinical, and asked me to step out. Then around 13 I wasn't in the room at all for the exam anymore, just questions after. I think that was when the doctor started asking about sexual activiy, drugs and alcohol, etc.
huh. well, maybe my doctor is extremely hands-off. Once it's been confirmed that the testicles are descended, why do doctors need to do a genital check in young boys?
Are you serious? Because doctors have to look for signs of abuse/illness/etc and checking the genitalia is part of that.
DD's Ped does a quick check of hers she caught a patch of ecxema I had missed one time.
In addition to this, testicular cancer is common in teenage boys.
Thanks all. The person we saw last year both pulled his underwear low* (while he was laying on the table) and examined him physically - gently pushing near the testicles. It was over in 5 seconds but DS was so upset. He's a healthy kid so we don't have a "relationship" with the pedi - this is his 1st appt since last year's annual checkup.
*not like down to his knees - she sort of flipped it down at the elastic with one hand while examining with the other.
This could be a chance to support him in being honest with how so,etching makes him feel, discuss why it's important and then ask what would make it better for him (male/female doctor, more warning, whatever)
huh. well, maybe my doctor is extremely hands-off. Once it's been confirmed that the testicles are descended, why do doctors need to do a genital check in young boys?
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Jun 6, 2017 16:50:25 GMT -5
I would expect a quick check to be a part of good pediatric care. My son is 8 and always has a quick check, which I appreciate. I don't have that particular equipment so I don't always know if something is not quite right there. It's good to have a physician making sure I don't miss something.
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Post by georgeharrison on Jun 6, 2017 16:55:35 GMT -5
My kid is 11 and yes, every year at his annual exam. The doc always says only parents and doctors. No one else. I love my kid's ped. It hasn't really occurred to me to be sad that we won't get to see him since we are moving until this post.
My son will be 9 in July and I'm 99% sure he didn't have his checked for his 8 year old well visit. Come to think of it I'm not sure my little guy had his checked at his 5 year old well visit either. And I'm even more sure my daughter didn't have hers checked at her 6 year old visit last November.