Decisions, decisions

[marriedfilingjoint]

I feel bad/needy that I've started the last 3 threads here, but you all give good advice.  I know you can't tell me what I should do but I am just bouncing some ideas around so feel free to weigh in with thoughts and experiences. 

STBX and I decided to split back in March.  His attorney has sent my attorney a proposed custody agreement and separation agreement.  I've marked it up with my changes and am waiting on my attorney to get back to me with his suggestions.  It's taking forever.  I am still living with STBX in our house we own together.  Attorney has advised that I cannot get off the mortgage or buy a new property until we have a signed separation agreement.  From August to mid-October, I will be traveling for work every week.  So basically if I'm not moving between now and the end of July, I won't be moving until October.  Or later.  Who knows what will even be on the market in October or if we will have come to an agreement.

So here's the conundrum:  rent or buy?

Buying pros:  real estate is relatively cheap where I live.  I'll be building equity (hopefully).  Deduct interest.  More likely to get what I want.  Can make changes to the home that I want.  There are several homes out there right now that are exactly what I am looking for, short of being exactly in the neighborhood I want.  Buying cons:  Looks like I won't be able to move until October if I buy.  Interest rates are high right now. I can't buy in the neighborhood I want right now; it's too expensive. Could get stuck with something that turns out to be a bad investment/not what I thought it would be.

Renting pros:  could move next month-there is an apartment available mid July that might work.  Could get a short-term lease and be ready to buy when what I want becomes available. No risk.  Renting cons:  could have crappy neighbors (actually, this is pretty likely).  Renting is relatively expensive here (looking at about $300-$400 more a month than what my mortgage would be).  Lack of permanency for my daughter (because unless I find a purple unicorn, I don't expect to live in an apartment for more than a year or so). Carpet (sounds picky but my daughter has bad allergies).

Thoughts?

[jigsy]

I don't really know. I have never had the option to buy so it was always just renting for me, so maybe I can offer perspective on apartment life?

1 - You might end up with bad neighbors - yup, totally possible...but that is also possible with a house (see every neighbor rant ever posted on these boards) and at least with an apartment, you are not stuck with them forever.

2 - Renting may cost more, but there is also the benefit of never having unexpected housing expenses - something breaks? You call the landlord. Also, would you have to have carpet? More and more, I see rentals with hardwood floors because they don't need to be replaced as often as carpet (legally, in my state, carpets must be replaced every 5 or 6 years I believe).

And, if you find a place you can see yourself staying in, you can make it your own in a lot of ways, you just have to make sure you can return it to its previous state.

The idea of buying a place with deadlines and other pressures sounds terrible to me. I would rather be able to do it on my own time, because needing to get out and away from your STBX could lead to making a rash decision. At least, that is how I would feel.

[marriedfilingjoint]

Good points. I did always like just having to call the lease office to get things fixed. Unexpected house expenses and having to miss work to wait for the repairman is the worst.

Around here, there are a few places with hardwoods but they don't allow pets, and I have a cat and a dog. Womp womp.

[penguingrrl]

I would rent. I understand the need for stability and permanency for your daughter, but I promise you kids can and do survive a few moves with a stable and happy parent. I moved around a lot until this year. I'm 36 and have lived in 25 homes, 9 since getting married 11 years ago (my oldest child is 10). My kids have weathered all of it and are happy and well adjusted. Each place became home quickly.

In the meantime, you're going through major life changes. While renting is more expensive month to month, you don't have to worry about unplanned expenses the same way you do with owning.

The carpet thing is rough, though. My daughter and i both have breathing issues and allergies and finding places that aren't carpeted is harder than I expected. I always managed to find places, though.