Transition from working mom to SAH?

[greekypie]

I'm in this boat, possibly temporarily, but the timeline is yet to be determined. I'm nervous. My son thrives at this daycare and I'm not sure what we are going to do all day with all this new time and both stay sane.

Did anyone go through this, and what fears did you have? Did they turn out to be unfounded? And wisdom to share?

[bunch]

Is it too late to get him in a morning preschool?

[6fsn]

I did this just after my son turned one. Get some people to hang out with. You don't necessarily have to be friends, but a group get together is good for the kids and you. You might also learn some things available you didn't know about.

Get a routine. Have a time to be ready by even if you aren't going anywhere but the backyard. Have a few things to do inside- we have a slide in the basement that is a godsend when the weather is sucky and we don't want to go anywhere.

Also be prepared that your house may not be as clean/tidy. I had visions of cleaning while he napped. It happened some, but we'd just mess it up again when he woke.

[imimahoney]

I'm in a different position because my son is much younger but I've been on maternity leave for the last 5 months. What saved me from boredom were classes... lots of classes. We've taken a Mommy and Me class when he was a newborn at a local parenting store and I signed up for the next session with a few new mommy friends. I also schedule "play dates" and lunches with the moms and their babies during the week.

Have you checked out your local Y or community center to see what classes are being offered? I think structured activities are a great way to get out, meet some new people, and add some fun to your day.

[Deleted]

How old is your son? Could you enroll him in a preschool or MDO program for a few days a week to give him that socialization/structure?

It did take me a little while to find my feet as a SAHM. What helped me most was setting up a routine for getting the kids out of the house every day. Staying in just makes us all stir crazy. I try to get them out at least twice a day: once in the morning for a few hours and then again in the afternoon after lunch. Meeting other SAHMs was also huge. I'm not really a joiner so I've personally found it easiest to meet people at "mommy and me" type classes and through the kids' school. But you could also look for a playgroup through places like meetup.com.

Look for stuff to do in your town that is free or cheap (the various playgrounds around us, the splash pad, library, and local rec center activities are big hits in our house). We also got family memberships to places like the zoo, children's museum, science museum, and a bounce house to make going there often cost effective. I've found that they're also good places to meet up for play dates. It can be a little awkward inviting people you've just met over to your house but it's pretty easy and laid back (imo) to just say "hey, we're going to be at the playground or museum at such and such time, why don't we get the kids together."

I also think it's really important to carve time out for yourself. It can be easy to put yourself last when you're with kids all day but if you do this often enough or long enough you'll just end up burning out. I would definitely have a discussion with your H about this before you leave your job. Whether you end up hiring a babysitter for a few hours a week or he agrees to watch your son for an hour at night every so often, you really need to have your H on board about how you're going to get that time to yourself.

Good luck!

[minzy]

The uncertainty with your timeline makes it a little harder to know whether you want to commit to weekday swimming, music, or gym classes, but maybe over time that will become more apparent to you. I was in a similar boat, waiting for months on a position that I did not get, and since then I have committed a little more to longer standing things like a weekly music class and a volunteering slot that my daughter and I do together.

In the meantime, I would try to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it is just to walk and get the mail. We try to get to storytime on occasion, which is offered not only at our libraries, but at Barnes and Noble and Whole Foods. We usually have at least one playdate a week (often more), and we've made friends at the library, in our neighborhood, and even over the Target clearance rack. We've been to museums, tons of parks and playgrounds, mall play areas, frozen yogurt shops, farmer's markets, the county fair, farms/orchards, the zoo, etc., etc. I am always looking for something new to do and we are exploring our community at the same time. You might want to check out some books from the library to give you more ideas for activities. Even mundane things can be fun for them. (My kid recently learned to smell, so we spent ten minutes the other day sniffing our way around Bath and Body Works.) At home she does a lot of what I would say is "free play," but I read to her a lot, we listen to music, she watches various kiddie clips on youtube, I get the crayons out and she colors, she "helps" fold laundry and put things away, etc.

I would also try to remember to schedule a little time for yourself so you get a break. Right now running is my me time and I am training for a half marathon. If you want to stay somewhat involved with your profession, you might want to consider volunteering somehow, and keeping in touch with colleagues.

[greekypie]

Thanks for the good ideas. I can enroll him in some kind of MDO or preschool, once we get settled (we are moving). I'm just really nervous about not liking SAH. I've never been wishing and hoping I could SAH, I've worked and benefitted from working since he was 11 weeks old. Our life circumstances have dropped this opportunity into my lap. EVERYONE is telling me "oh how nice, you get to take a break!!" and I'm thinking "oh God, I'm not going to get to go to work everyday!"

I would love to spend some more 1 on 1 time with him now, though. He is 2.5 and I know he is growing up fast so I plan to enjoy the time that I have.... I am nervous that I will eventually hate SAH.

I may apply to jobs sooner rather than later, if the right one comes along, but this goes against the advice of virtually everyone in my life, lol! Except DH. He supports me either way.

[Deleted]

I really liked library story time, and a mom's group through my church (I just went for drinks with those lovely ladies last night). If I was home now that DS is older, I'd be seeking out more active stuff for him to do - zoo membership, indoor playground for the winter, etc. I was out of the house pretty much every day because staying home made me apathetic. I get more done in a few hours on a busy day than all day on a lazy day.

I recommended the "your child at play" series a few days ago - if you just need more ideas on things your kid can learn from and enjoy, it's good. www.amazon.com/Your-Child-Play-Language-Imagination/dp/1557043329/ref=pd_sim_b_3

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'm not going to lie -- the transition from working every day to having hours and hours every day with no firm schedule is rough. A lot of our self-image is tied up in our job, whether we like the job or not.

I actually think it'll be easier for you than if you were starting to stay at home with a newborn. Two year olds are fun, and they're old enough to actually do fun stuff with you.

I agree with others -- you need to find other moms to hang out with. Stat! You need activities and things you have to do outside of the house. I actually wouldn't sign up for a bunch of classes. In general, kid classes tend to be kind of expensive for what you get (usually less than an hour per week). One a week can be fun, but you wouldn't necessarily want one every day.

I would make finding a moms group your priority. I can't recommend momsclub.org enough -- I've been involved with two separate groups through this organization, and I have friends involved in chapters in other cities. Every one has great things to say about them. Check out the website and find one local to you. The group will have a monthly calendar with activites -- mine has at least 3 per week, almost always in the morning. Plus we have playgroups set up by age group where you meet in people's homes. I could not have made it as a SAHM without Moms Club!!

If Moms Club isn't for you (or if you want another thing in addition), check out MeetUp to find a moms or parents group. In my experience, the Meetup groups are much more serious about attendance, but I think that probably does make the group more cohesive. You could also check local churches -- some have moms Bible studies and things, often with free childcare. If you're religious, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is another good organization (the one in my area is very heavily home schoolers, but they aren't all like that).

I'd also start looking for free or cheap things you can do with a kid. Before I joined Moms Club, I would take DD to library story time every Tuesday, and we'd go to the zoo a lot (we have an annual pass).

[mollybrown]

I'm in the middle of this transition now. The hardest thing is definitely coming up with a schedule that works. We started settling into a grove, but then DS started preschool. We were almost there again, but now DD is starting to drop her morning nap. I don't want her to fall asleep in the car while picking DS up from preschool, so I'm still trying to figure out how to plan around those issues. We're moving soon, so I have no doubt that as soon as we find another grove moving will mess it up (different travel time to preschool, different library story time, etc). I'm hoping that we can get a firm schedule soon like some of the pps. I love the idea of being dressed and ready every morning even if we aren't going anywhere.

What is working for us is connecting with other families. Once DD finally drops that morning nap, I expect to do more activities. Days definitely drag if we sit around, but they fly when we're out and about having fun.

My biggest fear is that I wouldn't be "good" at it. What I've learned is that my children are just happy to spend time with me. Even if we sit at home in breakfast crusted pajamas playing peekaboo, they are thrilled. Kids are much less hard on us than we are on ourselves. You can make almost anything educational with a little effort. I've found a few blogs with good ideas.