Open Letters

[mommyatty]

What needs to get off your chest?

[Covergirl82]

Dear MIL,

I asked you to come over today to hang out with the kids while I WFH so that you could spend time with the kids and I could focus on actually working. I DO NOT appreciate that you've spent most of the time I've been in my room (trying to focus on working) either listening to your voicemails (on speaker) or talking on the phone (also on speaker). Because that means that you're not doing what you're here to do. Not to mention that you've only been here since 10:40. WTF were you doing (since you don't work) before you came that you couldn't handle your personal business before you came?

Sincerely,
DIL who loves the benefits of a baby monitor that is left on (that you don't know about)

P.S. Get TF off the phone

[mae0111]

Dear DH -

Why TF would you sign a non-compete with a guy who I have been telling you is trying to screw you, without talking to me first? Because now he has. Screwed you. And me. Don't tell me you want my advice and leave huge, gaping holes in the story. Hope you can fix this.

Wife

[mommyatty]

Dear Hubs:

You are a stay at home dad. That means that the lion's share of house stuff is supposed to fall on you. I appreciate that yesterday you finally cleaned up the absolute fucking disaster that was our kitchen counter. Especially since I've done it the last 5 times. That probably took about thirty minutes. And you threw away stuff I specifically asked you to keep, so wtf. You did it, but not well. Here's the stuff you didn't do that caused me to have to rush around.

1) Finish making the dinner I had started in the crockpot. Seriously why are you unable to shred chicken? What is wrong with you?

2) Plan and execute dinner for the kids since you know they don't eat what we were eating. And why did I have to tell you three times to do it, finally be snotty in front of your mother, and then do it myself?

3) Notice that today the kids were supposed to dress like an inventor for camp and come up with their costumes. It was on the MFing calendar the school sent home. So why was I rushing around this morning finding dress up doctor's jackets and making name tags to show what inventor they were?

These things are the kind of shit you're supposed to be doing the 50-70 hours I'm out of the house every work week. What the F do you do in all that time?

Signed, You May Get Fired

Dear Dying Employee:

I am trying very, very hard to be a good human here. You've been out for a month. I've forced your boss - who has always hated working with you- to make allowances for you. But when I tell you that you need to apply for short term disability and you come back and say that you haven't actually taken a single day off because you send 1-2 emails every day, you are gaming the system.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to hear that you are dying, likely in the next year, and maybe much sooner. But I'm your boss's boss, not your social worker. You need to follow the rules and not screw over the company that is trying very hard to treat you well.

Love, Someone Who Really Doesn't Want to Discipline a Dying Guy

Dear Company:

I'm blown away at the resources we offer dying employees and their families. This has restored my faith in you by a lot. I mean, a year of financial and tax planning after the death so the widower person has help applying for benefits and filing taxes? That's really generous.

Grateful Employee Who Never Wants to Use Those Benefits

[callmekd]

Dear baby girl,

Please figure out how to fall back asleep on your belly. I know it's really exciting to be able to roll over.

Love,

Mom

Dear baby boy,

I'm so glad you aren't waking up when your twin is being loud at 2am. Keep sleeping.

Love,

Mom

[rere]

Dear boss lady and board,

Thank you for the hefty raise this year. It is much appreciated especially since Dh and I have been spending money this year like we are printing it in the basement.

Signed, grateful employee

[rere]

Omg mommyatty . I would be livid. It irks me enough if Dh leaves a mess on his days off, I can't imagine my head not popping off over all of that.

[polecat8]

Dear mommyatty ,
I totally understand your frustration with your H. My DH is now a SAHD and some days I am shaking my head when I get home. He claims he can't get anything done sometimes because of the kids. Then on Saturday morning, I'm running around cleaning, dressing 3 kids for the day, and doing the dishes - all before noon without any help from him. I don't know what he does while I am gone...
Signed, I hear ya sister

Dear Boss man at my part time university teaching gig,
Not only did you agree that it was time for a raise for me, but you also gave me double what I was looking for! Thank you so much! It is a great feeling to be appreciated at your job. Also, thanks for teaching me an important lesson - ask and ye shall receive.
Signed, grateful employee

Dear DH,
When I am working from home, you need to stop bothering me!
Signed, and I thought the kids were bad

[2chatter]

mommyatty the camp costume thing would send me totally over the edge. That and throwing away things I asked to keep.

Dear DH,
No raise, no bonus, no promotion. You need to figure out what else you can do that doesn't conflict with your noncompete because these idiots don't appreciate you and are now actively trying to push you out.
Seriously. Watch less Netflix (I can see your viewing history in the settings dude, how do you think I monitor the kids) and apply for more jobs.
Wife

[traveltheworld]

Dear mae0111,

Yikes. I hope it works out.

Dear Former Partner,

Please call me back. Leaving me a voicemail first thing in the morning saying that you need to ask me about a previous file has me all anxious that I've screwed up something and now it has blown up. You've worked with me for years - you know what I'm like. I've now called you 3 times. I can't keep calling lest I turn into stalker territory.

Signed,
Former associate who has anxiety problems (obviously)

Dear Self,

Calm the f*ck down. You no longer work there. And you've never screwed up anything material while you did work there.

Signed,
The rational side of self

[akafred]

Dear appraiser,

Were you a torturer for the KGB in a former life?

Signed,
The suspense is eating me alive

[xctsclrx]

Dear Self,

Get motivated at work. This week has been brutal for productivity. I just don't wanna

Signed

bored employee who shouldn't be bored.

[judyblume14]

DH,

Three hours. THREE HOURS you spent at WalMart last night. You bought paper and plastic party supplies, a pop-up tent and 12 folding chairs. THREE HOURS? Do you now finally see that I'm justified in calling you crazy-pants indecisive? Who the eff spends THREE HOURS deciding between black and white folding chairs, and whether you want plain napkins, or napkins with designs on them.

Signed,
Wife who could've made the same trip in 45 minutes (but is passive-aggressively not helping with this party because I said from the beginning that i didn't have the time or mental capacity to plan a party for 115 invited guests)

[erinshelley21]

Dear DH,
I think we need to take a break from the house shit and just wait until I know what is going on with my business and what my next step is. We don't do very well at this wait and see thing because we are both pretty impatient. We are also very unhappy in our current situation. This chapter is almost over, we just need to be patient. Or try to be.
Love, your wife who is thankful you're on this ride with me

[186momx]

Dear DD
I'm glad you are having so much fun at gymnastics camp but you also need to eat and sleep. I put you to bed at 6:15 as you were falling asleep in your dinner. I wasn't very happy to find you doing gymnastics at 7:40 when you should have been sleeping.
Mom who doesn't like seeing you exhausted

Dear Stores
We just finished school last week. I wasn't too happy to see the back to school isles popping up over the weekend. It is really hard to buy stuff for school in July when we don't go back until September and truthfully summer has barely started and I want summer.
Cranky me who doesn't want to think about school when we just started summer

Dear mommyatty, H
Please get your act together. I have less patience than your wife and would have been yelling at you like crazy. If you can't multi task then I suggest you go back to work so your salary can pay for a nanny/cleaner to do all the kid and cleaning duties.
Fellow working mom who had a SAHD who could multitask and do everything plus go to school

[Covergirl82]

Dear mae0111,

So sorry, that's not what you need right now with quitting you job. Hope everything works out.


Dear mommyatty and polecat8,

You should get one of those nanny video monitors to see what your H's actually do all day.

Signed,
Inquiring minds want to know

[twinmomma]

Dear DH,
I appreciate that you schedule kid check ups for days you have off. Makes life easier. Except that you in no way pay attention and can give me zero information after the appointment. How much do our kids weight? How tall are they? You didn't even get the new prescription for the epi-pen so that we can get it refilled this month! We both hate dealing with the front desk staff and know they're not the brightest folks. And now one of us is going to have to call and deal with them to get the right generic prescription written so our insurance will cover it. You could have just asked the doctor and gotten a print out yesterday in person!
Signed,
Wife who wants info

Dear work,
Thank you for approving my super fun video project idea! I'm so excited to make this happen and do more of these in the future. I love that you support my ideas and give me budget to play. It's really refreshing.
Signed,
Happy Marketer

Dear self,
Good luck with pulling off a video shoot and production in a week. While you're on vacation for most of that week. Hope you don't die.
Love,
Me.

[erinshelley21]

I forgot one...

Dear leasing company for our copier,
Thanks for the call yesterday making sure I received the bill that was due on 6/5. No I did not pay it and I don't know why you're surprised. The invoice date was 6/8 and the stamp from your postage meter said 6/12, making it impossible for me to pay the bill before the due date. You'll get your money at my convenience since you're a bunch of idiots.
Signed, not sorry for laughing when you asked me to expedite a payment to you.

[sweetptater]

Dear Bossman,

We have a holiday on Tuesday, July 4th, but aren't off Monday. This morning you said you were considering closing the office anyway since all 8 of the employees were discussing taking PTO anyway. We assumed that if you were closing the office, it was as a "thank you for your hard work, you deserve this" kind of thing vs. "I'm forcing you to take the day off using your (very limited) personal time." This kind of feels like a punch in the gut.

Signed,
Your loyal employees who have poured our blood, sweat, and tears into this start-up and really, really want to see it work, however also worked 4 months without pay last year (and still haven't been paid back), are underpaid for our industry/roles, and have absolutely zero incentive to be here while you take, take, take, and refuse to give anything in return.

PS - We (and our morales) could really use a carrot here...

[k3am]

Dear body,

I'm sorry about the sunburn. And the 1283947 mosquito bites. And the random bruises I have from trying to get back onto the dock after jumping into the lake 15 times. Also, for the alcohol and the excess amounts of food you had. But darned if that isn't what vacations are for!

Signed,
The lady who misses the lake already.

[k3am]

sweetptater : do you have something in writing about getting your back pay? Did they offer you additional compensation? Additional PTO? You're a startup, so I'd think some additional stock options should be coming your way, at a minimum. If you're going to be taking the risk of a startup, you should be getting the benefits as well.

My advice to anyone in your situation.. when they miss payroll, run. I've financed a lot of companies, and my fair share of start-ups. If they're not paying their employees, they're not paying their vendors. Every single one that's missed payroll by more than a day or two is now out of business.

ETA: Sorry, I'm not trying to be judgmental, but that type of scenario scares me.

[supertrooper1]

Dear DH,
Karma is a bitch,
Love,
Your wife.

[2chatter]

supertrooper1 - can't wait to find out what that means! I hope it's nothing too bad!

Dear Bravo,
Please hook past seasons of Below Deck onto Netflix or Prime. I need the mindlessness.
Bored and too cheap to pay

[kimberlybb]

Dear Parents,
You are seriously the best!! Thanks for agreeing to watch the kids so DH and I can go on a wine tasting trip this fall. I really look forward to our kid free trips and realize they wouldn’t be possible without your help.

Sincerely,
Your grateful daughter

Dear airline,
What?!? A direct flight to the West Coast? It’s about time!

Sincerely,
A Midwest traveler who hates connections

Dear DS,
Pull it together! It was totally unnecessary to throw a 20 minute tantrum this morning because I wouldn’t give you a paper towel to wipe my kiss off.

Sincerely,
Your mom who loathes the “three-anger” stage

[sweetptater]

Jun 28, 2017 13:28:07 GMT -5 k3am said:

sweetptater : do you have something in writing about getting your back pay? Did they offer you additional compensation? Additional PTO? You're a startup, so I'd think some additional stock options should be coming your way, at a minimum. If you're going to be taking the risk of a startup, you should be getting the benefits as well.

My advice to anyone in your situation.. when they miss payroll, run. I've financed a lot of companies, and my fair share of start-ups. If they're not paying their employees, they're not paying their vendors. Every single one that's missed payroll by more than a day or two is now out of business.

ETA: Sorry, I'm not trying to be judgmental, but that type of scenario scares me.

YGPM

[mellym]

Jun 28, 2017 12:54:45 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Dear DH,
You didn't even get the new prescription for the epi-pen so that we can get it refilled this month! We both hate dealing with the front desk staff and know they're not the brightest folks. And now one of us is going to have to call and deal with them to get the right generic prescription written so our insurance will cover it. You could have just asked the doctor and gotten a print out yesterday in person!
Signed,
Wife who wants info

twinmomma, tell me more about the generic prescription for an epi pen. Is it like the Mylan epi-pen with auto injector?  We just received a notification from our insurance company that they're no longer covering the epi-pen so I need to research what I'm supposed to be getting instead.

[mellym]

Dear MIL,

Taking the kids shopping for a car full of toys for your house and then saying, now I just need some kids to come over to play with them is so not cool. You see your grandkids every week and it will never be enough. Sorry we both work and are busy on weekends that we can't come over every weekend.

Signed,
Not Sorry

[twinmomma]

Jun 28, 2017 14:38:16 GMT -5 mellym said:

Jun 28, 2017 12:54:45 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Dear DH,
You didn't even get the new prescription for the epi-pen so that we can get it refilled this month! We both hate dealing with the front desk staff and know they're not the brightest folks. And now one of us is going to have to call and deal with them to get the right generic prescription written so our insurance will cover it. You could have just asked the doctor and gotten a print out yesterday in person!
Signed,
Wife who wants info

twinmomma , tell me more about the generic prescription for an epi pen. Is it like the Mylan epi-pen with auto injector?  We just received a notification from our insurance company that they're no longer covering the epi-pen so I need to research what I'm supposed to be getting instead.

I'm not entirely sure. I got a letter from our insurance that they're no longer covering epi-pen and that we have to get the generic instead. I think it's this: www.my-generic-epinephrine-auto-injector.com/ from what I've researched online. One of the reasons why I wanted DH to talk to the doctor about it... lol

I'm stressed out about how much it's going to cost. The brand name used to be free under our insurance, with the coupon card that Epi-pen had available. Now I think we're going to have to pay some kind of co-pay for the generic and I have no clue how much that'll be. 

[2chatter]

twinmomma - the pharmacist may know the low down -- they recommended a prescription program for my mom (that goes to something crazy like 6x the poverty line) - it was really easy to enroll. Based on what they said I found it through a google search - drug name free program. It looks like the one for epipen is 400% of poverty line and RX for generic (but will get Mylan). www.epipen.com/resources/paying-for-epipen

[twinmomma]

2chatter, We were using that savings card for the $300 off - which meant it was free under our insurance. We'll be just over that limit for the other program. It looks like there's a savings card for the generic too, but I have to figure out which tier it falls under for our insurance now. And since we have to get multiples (for home/school/etc.) have to research how many times we can use the coupon.

The whole things makes me sick to my stomach. My kid's allergy isn't even that bad. She has potential for a bad reaction to an insect sting. I can't imagine living with severe allergies and stressing about life-saving medication. It's so gross that this is a real battle that families have to fight.