drop off party wording

[dglvrk2]

Hello,

DD1's 6th birthday is tomorrow.  We sent out an Evite invitation a few weeks ago to her classmates and neighborhood kids.  We're having the party at our house. Kids are eating hot dogs, making s'mores and watching "Moana."  Pretty low key.  We don't have a pool, busy street or dogs. 

I was very explicit - but in a friendly way-  that it's a drop-off party, telling parents to go have a date night etc. :-)

I did this for two reasons: DD wanted a drop off party and, more practically, our house and back yard are incredibly small.  13 kids are coming and just that number alone will make our home/yard quite crowded.  

In addition to the 13 kids, 8 parents said they would come and two even said they'd bring their other children.  One mom did ask if she could stay a while, just until her son is comfortable.  I'm totally fine with this.  

I want to send an email to the other parents today, reminding them of our circumstances. Does anyone have recommendations for communicating to the other parents? 

I'm thinking something like: DD1 is looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her school and neighborhood friends.  Our house is going to be packed with six year olds. We're asking parents drop off kiddos if possible and leave siblings at home.  

Is there any way I can say this more tactfully or in a nicer way??

[2chatter]

I avoid this scenario because I don't think there is a better way to say it. I have had parents stay for the first couple hours of a sleepover party. While I side eye them, I am pretty anti confrontation and try to remember everyone has different comfort levels.

I don't get it though. Do they think we are going to get out the guns and bong in front of them? (We have neither, just trying to
Imagine....)

[sdlaura]

I think your message is fine, though I would probably add a couple 'pleases' and exclamation points or just a make it a little bit tempered, you know? Something like:

DD1 is looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her school and neighborhood friends! Our small house and yard are going to be packed with six year olds, so we'd really appreciate it if parents could drop off kiddos for the party, and leave siblings at home.  We can't wait to see your kids this weekend!

[frozenpeas]

I don't think I could pull that off. I think the best I would be able to do is immediately upon getting the rsvp, going back to the parents who said they would come and saying, "DD1 has her heart set on a 'big girl party'--one with no parents, plus our house is tiny so no need for you to stay if you have other things to do". But at this point I wouldn't be able to remind some parents they and their other kids aren't welcome, especially when they will see that other parents/siblings will be there.

I'm not saying you shouldn't--I actually wish I had the nerve--but I honestly think I'd just deal with whoever shows up now. Even more so because the party is tomorrow.

[traveltheworld]

I think your message is fine. And as sdlaura said, maybe add a few exclamation points.

[librarychica]

I say it's fine and, personally, would not even bother with extra pleases and exclamation points. IME, people who are told that they/their not invited kids are, in fact, not invited will either be offended or understanding and no amount of exclamations will change that.

This cynicism brought to you by an acquaintance who was incensed that a public elementary school didn't accommodate her younger child's participation or provide childcare for him during her older child's events.

[2chatter]

librarychica - that is one of my litmus tests for friends. Anyone who whines about that isn't someone I can hang out with.

[dglvrk2]

Thanks everyone!

Here's what I wrote:
DD1 is really looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her (school) friends tomorrow! Temperatures will drop in the evening, so please remember some warm clothes. Also, our little yard will be packed with five and six year-olds, so we are encouraging parents to drop off their kids if possible. Can't wait for tomorrow!!

Hopefully, it's not offensive to anyone. If it is.....well, I'm sure I've offended that parent already at some point.

Haven't heard from any parents yet.

[ECB]

Jun 29, 2017 15:23:23 GMT -5 dglvrk2 said:

Thanks everyone!

Here's what I wrote:
DD1 is really looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her (school) friends tomorrow! Temperatures will drop in the evening, so please remember some warm clothes. Also, our little yard will be packed with five and six year-olds, so we are encouraging parents to drop off their kids if possible. Can't wait for tomorrow!!

Hopefully, it's not offensive to anyone. If it is.....well, I'm sure I've offended that parent already at some point.

Haven't heard from any parents yet.

I really like what frozenpeas said.  I htink if you get any pushback on the above, then come back with "well, DD is really looking forward to a big girl party where parents and younger kids aren't there.".

I find it REALLY fricking rude when parents state - not ask- that they are bringing other kids.  The other kids were NOT invited.  

[librarychica]

How was the party?

[shakinros]

Jul 2, 2017 8:54:30 GMT -5 librarychica said:

How was the party?

Seconded. I also want to know how many parents and how many siblings were there. Hope it was fun!

[dglvrk2]

Sorry for the late response. I've been traveling, solo parenting and otherwise not online much lately.

Party went well! More of the *invited* kids came than expected, so it was a crowded house, but kids had fun.

Most parents just casually dropped off their kids, gave me their contact information and left, not WTFs or push back. Two moms wanted to stay until their kids were comfortable - fine by me. Their kids were crying messes when the moms were hanging around, but cheered up *immediately* when their moms left.

Thinking I'd rather not host a party like this again at my house just because it's such a small place.

[HeartofCheese]

2chatter, you should change your name to @2gunsandabong.