Disturbing sex-selection article

[anna7602]

From slate.com. Has this one been discussed already? I am feeling outrageously judgy after reading it.

www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2012/09/sex_selection_in_babies_through_pgd_americans_are_paying_to_have_daughters_rather_than_sons_.single.html

[Deleted]

Well... it offends me less than sex-based abortion.

But I'll join you in the judgy seats.

[everam01]

I will never, ever be able to understand that mentality. I'm a girl who grew up with sisters and I have absolutely no desire to keep "trying for a girl."

I think those of us who struggled with fertility are probably in a different place that the general public, though.

[luvmagoldn]

Sept 14, 2012 13:14:52 GMT -5 everam01 said:

I think those of us who struggled with fertility are probably in a different place that the general public, though.

+1

[froggy76]

I don't necessarily think this should be illegal (I just don't care that much), but I definitely judge the woman in the article for being so shallow. I also feel bad for her 3 boys.

[Deleted]

Room on the judgy couch for one more?

“My husband and I stared at our daughter for that first year. She was worth every cent. Better than a new car, or a kitchen reno.”

.... :-|

I'd find it hard to be a Dr. working in this field.

[LauraMoser]

Just a question: If they take one of the eight cells out and leave only seven, does that leave the potential for some sort of defect?

I could never go through with something like that. I will admit to wanting a (third! lol) girl this time around, but I'm perfectly happy with the boy that it turned out to be. I think just finding out the sex before birth takes some of the fun out of things, but to actually select which one in the beginning would be no fun at all to me.

I think its crazy how obsessed some people are with getting a certain sex. Why can't they just realize how lucky they are to have kids at all? There are many people who struggle with getting pregnant at all. Greedy people!

[h]

We have friends who are doing IVF for a girl after having three boys. They are awesome parents and clearly adore their sons--they (paricularly the mom) just really want the experience of raising a daughter as well.

It is not something I personally would do, and I definitely have concerns about the practice, but I am not convinced that it is the worst thing ever.

[anna7602]

Sept 14, 2012 14:01:30 GMT -5 h said:

We have friends who are doing IVF for a girl after having three boys. They are awesome parents and clearly adore their sons--they (paricularly the mom) just really want the experience of raising a daughter as well.

It is not something I personally would do, and I definitely have concerns about the practice, but I am not convinced that it is the worst thing ever.

The whole notion of "wanting the experience of raising a daughter" and going out of your way to ensure it rubs me the wrong way. It sounds kind of entitled, actually. Or like someone might benefit from some intense therapy if they really feel like their lives are so lacking.

[slug*bug]

It bothers me, but I can understand the motivation. That said, it's not something I would've done.

[satama]

Honestly, I cant get all worked up about it. It is pretty cost prohibitive, and not like there are tons of people who would be able to try it even if they wanted to. I don't think we need to worry about a lack of baby boys being born due to sec selection.

I do have a question though, if you are going through IVF for IF reasons is there an opportunity to select the sex then? Or is this strictly done for people who are just using the procedure to get the sex they prefer?

[Deleted]

It's not something that I personally would do (I think I'm too cheap, lol) but I get having a preference. We're done having kids but if we were to have one more I'd like another daughter just to balance the family out.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2012 14:28:29 GMT -5 satama said:

Honestly, I cant get all worked up about it. It is pretty cost prohibitive, and not like there are tons of people who would be able to try it even if they wanted to. I don't think we need to worry about a lack of baby boys being born due to sec selection.

I do have a question though, if you are going through IVF for IF reasons is there an opportunity to select the sex then? Or is this strictly done for people who are just using the procedure to get the sex they prefer?

The technology was developed to allow sex selection in cases where the parents carry genetic disorders. I'd say the hard part about getting it done for funsies is that most doctors find it immoral.

And again, sex selection abortion is way cheaper, so I assume it will remain more of an issue than this is.

[h]

Sept 14, 2012 14:36:50 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Sept 14, 2012 14:01:30 GMT -5 h said:

We have friends who are doing IVF for a girl after having three boys. They are awesome parents and clearly adore their sons--they (paricularly the mom) just really want the experience of raising a daughter as well.

This really bothers me because it assumes a certain type of child or experience based on sex. Having a daughter doesn't mean you're going to get a kid who loves dressing up as a princess and getting her hair done.

It just seems to be a horrible set of expectations to thrust on what is an actual, individual human being.

I don't necessarily disagree. I don't want to come off as defending this practice. Like I said, this is not something I would personally do. I have two boys and think they are delightful.

That said, I don't think having a gender preference can always be equated with putting unrealistic expectations on your kid, through I do think that having a preference so strong that you would spend tens of thousands of dollars and go through an otherwise unnecessary IVF to make it happen raises questions.

[everam01]

I also question this practice because doing IVF for funsies is going to continue to drive the cost upward for those who need it in order to get pregnant at all.

[fortmyersbride]

And the dr doing it sounds like an ass. All this baiting of the public and his professional organizations? I can't help but believe his patients' well-being (and genetic integrity of the to-be-offspring) are his last concern.

[knitty]

Sept 14, 2012 13:51:39 GMT -5 LauraMoser said:

Just a question: If they take one of the eight cells out and leave only seven, does that leave the potential for some sort of defect?

Normally it's being done to make sure the embryo isn't aneupoid or carrying BRCA1, or Huntingtons or Tay Sachs or other genetic diseases, so any risk is well justified.

They think it's probably safe, but the first births using the technique were in 1990, so it's pretty new still, and it's pretty damn invasive. To do it so that you might get a kid who likes wearing fluffy pink things and is also female is pretty stupid.

[Deleted]

As much as I do want a daughter I will take whatever children I am granted with. Boys are so much fun and I wouldn't trade my son in for the world. If I am blessed with nothing but boys that will be fine. If I don't get a daughter we always have the option to adopt a daughter later if we still want one.

[hannamaren]

Sept 14, 2012 13:50:25 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Room on the judgy couch for one more?

“My husband and I stared at our daughter for that first year. She was worth every cent. Better than a new car, or a kitchen reno.”

....

I'd find it hard to be a Dr. working in this field.

This made me sick to my stomach. I read it to my H and he was creeped out too.

[kimibrighteyes]

I find it disgusting personally.

[barefootcontessa]

The article makes it seem like women are the ones requesting the sex selection of a female child. I find that to be interesting and wonder why that is the case.

[atouchofklasse]

Sept 17, 2012 7:03:02 GMT -5 barefootcontessa said:

The article makes it seem like women are the ones requesting the sex selection of a female child. I find that to be interesting and wonder why that is the case.

There was an article posted here about women preferring girls for adoption too. When women are the ones making the decision (as is most often the case with adoption) they are much more likely to choose girls.

[mrshandy]

Ugh...

I wouldn't want to be the kid of a parent who did this. It is just so selfish and I agree it does assume that just because your kid is a gender they are going to have certain experiences.

I just don't get it.

[Shreddingbetty]

Sept 14, 2012 14:28:29 GMT -5 satama said:

I do have a question though, if you are going through IVF for IF reasons is there an opportunity to select the sex then? Or is this strictly done for people who are just using the procedure to get the sex they prefer?

I did IVF and PGD because I was (still am) AMA and wanted to increase my chances of getting pregnant the first time (since most miscarriages are chromosomally abnormal embryos). We did this twice. Each time we only had one normal embryo out of the 6 so I am really glad we did.

That said, we were not allowed to chose for sex if we had had more than one embryo. They only allow that for genetically linked diseases. Even after I got pregnant they did not want to tell us the sex of the baby so I had to wait until the 20 week US.

I was just happy to have a healthy baby. I think it is nuts that people do this so they can get a girl (or boy). I can understand hoping for a certain sex but to go through extremes to do this when you can conceive naturally is crazy. Be happy with what you get. I feel sorry for the girl in the story becuase she is going to have girl stuff pushed on her whether she wants to or not. She will probably end up on Toddler and Tiaras one day....