Open letters

[HeartofCheese]

Starting this b/c I got one.

Dear H and DC,

DS kissed a boy last night because he loves him. Everyday DS is so excited to show him his toys and play together at school. It's been like that since the poor kid started. And guess what? The other kid really loves DS, too. The joy on their faces when they play is a beautiful thing.

So if they kiss, leave them alone b/c my kids are well-versed in kissing as a way of showing love. I highly doubt that there is any sexual component to it whatsoever. I also find it troubling that you separated them afterwards, DC, b/c you didn't separate DS from his teacher who he plans to marry or the 3yo he planned to marry in his old room. Btw, my DD plans to marry DS, but don't separate them either, okay?

And if anyone says something and follows it up with, "...but I'm totally okay with that" one more time - I'm going to call you out on not actually being "totally okay with that." It is weird to talk about my son's sexual proclivities before he even knows he has any.

Thanks,
A mom who needs to get this other mom's number for a playdate

[mommyatty]

Dear stomach bug:

Why did you have to land in my stomach? Bleh. I hate feeling like my intestines are going to explode through both ends.

Annoyed

Dear Hairstylist:

Please have an open appointment soon before I chicken out on getting my hair cut differently. I'm excited about trying a choppy bob. And a new color to be determined.

Chicken

Dear Cute Daughter:

Okay, we will cut your hair shorter. Afterward, you cannot be mad that your hair is shorter. You have begged for this for a month.

Dubious Mommy

[xctsclrx]

HeartofCheese, wow. My DC has a no kissing on the mouth policy (not sure if germs or because of appropriate behavior). They will separate kids if they are kissing on the mouth and have been told multiple to time "not on the mouth" I think parents have complained in the past. The only reason I know this is because DS came home kissing me on the mouth and asked if that was happening at school.


Dear Mom,

Thank you for taking DS for our vacation. Just know that 3 weeks was longer than I wanted and don't take it personally if I cry while you guys leave on Friday. I am almost in tears now and you haven't even gotten here yet.I know he is going to have a great time, but he is my baby and I am going to miss him a lot.

Love,

your daughter who is more emotional than you are.

[twinmomma]

Dear bosses,
Please like the presentation today about website recommendations! These are all good changes, and are seriously very affordable in the grand scheme of things. Hopefully you don't freak out. Also, please don't make me rebrand us backwards. The meeting yesterday sounded a bit like that might be on the table. Which would really, really suck.
Signed,
Marketing

Dear DH,
Get on the phone and order those tickets! I want to see some football! I really hope you saw my email, because I can't call you right now and I need you to deal with this. Don't fail me now!
Thanks,
Wife who actually wants to watch sports with you

[vavavictoria]

Dear H

Happy anniversary! 9 years has flown. We've had some good times and some bad times and made two beautiful babies. Can't wait to keep moving along together. 😍

Love vava

Dear work

Please chill out. I am so behind I am having trouble getting my brain to figure out a plan. No drama please. No needy staff. Just leave me be with no calls and meetings and give me a few days to dig out.

Overworked PM

[judyblume14]

Dear Working Parents,

I'm feeling tense/stressed lately. And it's making me feel like a less-than-stellar mom because all i do is scream at my not-quite 3yo. Clearly I need a massage. But my spa subscription also covers "Reiki Energy Healing" which is described as "Reduce stress, clear negativity, and promote mental and emotional well-being by balancing your body’s energy with Reiki, an ancient alternative medicine technique." I have heard of this, but have no idea what it is. And google isn't helping me figure it out. Anyone ever do it? Do i need to do it? Will it help me chill the heck out?

Thanks!
Crazy Lady.

[twinmomma]

judyblume14,
Reiki is pretty cool. If it's included, I'd say give it a shot! It's all about healing energy and is very calming. I tried it back in college and totally didn't believe it would work. Then the Reiki person was able to identify all the places in my body where I had major dance injuries without me telling her and they felt a lot better after she did her thing. It freaked me out, but was also pretty cool. From what I remember, the person basically puts their hands over you, not touching you, and directs the healing energy to those areas. It's definitely a hippy crunchy thing, but I liked it.

[judyblume14]

Aug 2, 2017 8:42:59 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

judyblume14 ,
Reiki is pretty cool. If it's included, I'd say give it a shot! It's all about healing energy and is very calming. I tried it back in college and totally didn't believe it would work. Then the Reiki person was able to identify all the places in my body where I had major dance injuries without me telling her and they felt a lot better after she did her thing. It freaked me out, but was also pretty cool. From what I remember, the person basically puts their hands over you, not touching you, and directs the healing energy to those areas. It's definitely a hippy crunchy thing, but I liked it.

See, I can totally get into that hokey stuff!  I will probably give it a shot. 

[Covergirl82]

Dear manager,

The bad thing about working in our department is I know all the details around merit increases and what we're suggesting leaders do. So being that I am a high performer who is low in the pay range, I am expecting an increase that is at least double the average. I know you and our director like me, so please don't let me down.

Signed,
Employee

Dear DH's boss,

Please come through with this promotion (job grade evaluation) that DH told me you talked to him about as something you're working on. I am dreaming of all the debt we can pay off much faster if this promotion goes through.

Signed,
Employee's wife

[justcheckingin73]

Dear Microwave,

Did you have to die in the middle of making breakfast this morning? You've been making weird noises for a while so I'm glad something happened otherwise DH wouldn't do anything about it but you could have died at a more convenient time for me. Because it's always about me

It's really never about me


Dear Salesforce,

I don't know what your problem is but if you could speed it up, I'd appreciate it. It has taken me over two hours to make minimal changes to a template and I'm about to stroke out. I have other things to do before I take Friday off.

Get with it!

PMS-ed and stressed out Me

[twinmomma]

Dear DH,
Thanks for getting the tickets!!! I am so excited to revel in football with you in person. I know it's just a preseason game, so it means nothing and no one good will even be playing. But we're going to have so much fun! Plus, it alleviates some of my guilt that I've been to a game before and you haven't.
Love,
Excited wife

[mae0111]

Dear Universe - if you're going to give me food poisoning, please do it for something better than a home made salad with grilled chicken. I don't know how the rest of the family avoided it, but thanks for that.
Love,
Mae

Dear body - Enough. There's nothing left. I need to hydrate. Please stop.
Thanks,
The Management

Dear DD2 - I'm really sorry that I can't take you to the kid's carnival today. It's 86 degrees with 80% humidity, and I feel awful. I can't stand out in the sun or I will pass out. Can I just buy you an ice cream and we will sit in the air conditioned ice cream shop while you eat it? Is that a deal?
Sorry,
Mommy

[HeartofCheese]

xctsclrx, they didn't say anything about a no-kissing policy and I wouldn't be opposed to one. Based on how they approached it, I didn't get the impression that this was the reason for separating them...

[vavavictoria]

Aug 2, 2017 9:23:29 GMT -5 HeartofCheese said:

xctsclrx, they didn't say anything about a no-kissing policy and I wouldn't be opposed to one. Based on how they approached it, I didn't get the impression that this was the reason for separating them...

I wonder if they would have been as bothered by two girls kissing. At DD's daycare the little kids are always walking around holding hands and hugging. I don't know that they have kissed but I like to hope it wouldn't be a big deal. They are so tiny. It's not sexual in any way.

[judyblume14]

Dear Pump,

You sound tired. We're only 3 months into workday pumping, and have 6 to go. Please perk up. You'll be a hassle to replace.

Thanks,
Boobs.

[2chatter]

Dear Universe,
Please direct me to the right place to get DD's hair cut. Seriously. This shouldn't be hard.
Stressed mom

[rere]

Dear weather,

Please hold off on the rain. I have 5 kids going on an hour drive to the water park, by myself. Let's get in a few good hours, and you can do what you want.

Dear garage doors,

Where are you? Nebraska? Alaska? I know you are not on ky garage and have been ordered for weeks.

[k3am]

Dear work,

WHY do you have to ruin every big vacation I have planned? EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. (Okay, not every time. My wedding/honeymoon was fine. Because I had just switched roles and didn't have any clients yet. I'm sure if I'd had clients, they'd have been ruining that too.) Two cruises, a trip to Mexico, and while it wasn't a "big" vacation, Christmas in 2013.

My vacation starts in 3.5 hours. I have a call in 5 hours. And as of right now, I'm planning on liquidating out of a REALLY large facility that should take at least a month. Le sigh.

Signed,
Going to be taking calls from wine country. And the beach next week.

PS At least I'm not going to have to make a decision that results in an entire production staff of 111 employees getting laid off on 12/23. It's better than that, right? My heart still hasn't really recovered from that.

[mommyatty]

Dear Hair Stylist (redux):

You have an opening today?? Really?? I'm home sick from work, but I can always take some Imodium and gut my way through it.

Love you!
Excited Client Who is Changing Her Hair!

Dear Boss:

I really am sick. Please ignore the new haircut tomorrow. I swear this wasn't planned and I'm not playing hooky.

Sincerely, Employee with an employee going through chemo who I can't risk infecting

[jlaok]

Dear school,

Thank you for adding a fee for school supplies instead of making me schlep all over town for them. I really hope you added some money for the teachers to buy things for their classroom too.

Sincerely,

ain't no body got time for back-to-school shopping

[polecat8]

Dear children,
Thank you so much for being easy to care for last night. I was so happy that you were pretty well behaved and ate your dinners. And I was able to give you each a bath. Not bad for taking care of 3 kids by myself last night while DH had a well-deserved night out.
Momma

Dear DH,
Now that you are a SAHD, you need to have some time away from us or you will go crazy. I'm glad you were able to hang out with a friend and relax. Now please don't be mad when my teaching gig starts up again in a few weeks and you will be completely on your own on Wednesdays from 6am - 10pm.
Wifey

Dear DS1,
Happy 3rd birthday! You love to get into everything and can annoy the crap out of your sister, but you sure are cute! I'm sorry I had to work today, but we are going to dinner tonight to your favorite place with the cookies to celebrate! I hope you are having a good day and I can't wait to see you after work!
Signed,
Where did my baby go?

[mustardseed2007]

judyblume14, I have no idea what that is, but I think I need it too. I would totally give it a shot.

[olenka]

Aug 2, 2017 8:38:29 GMT -5 judyblume14 said:

Dear Working Parents,

I'm feeling tense/stressed lately. And it's making me feel like a less-than-stellar mom because all i do is scream at my not-quite 3yo. Clearly I need a massage. But my spa subscription also covers "Reiki Energy Healing" which is described as "Reduce stress, clear negativity, and promote mental and emotional well-being by balancing your body’s energy with Reiki, an ancient alternative medicine technique." I have heard of this, but have no idea what it is. And google isn't helping me figure it out. Anyone ever do it? Do i need to do it? Will it help me chill the heck out?

Thanks!
Crazy Lady.

I saw an ad for Chicken Reiki at my local hippie grocery store recently. Apparently they can either lay hands on the chicken or do it from a short distance away.

I know there are people in my city who will pay for this, too.

[judyblume14]

olenka, maybe I need chicken reiki?

[twinmomma]

olenka, I'm dying over chicken reiki!

[olenka]

I really want to see this chicken reiki practitioner in action

[186momx]

Dear Sitter H
When I said you and DD could watch a movie, I figured 1 movie not 3 movies. You watch Harry Potter, Trolls, and Full Out! TV isn't the babysitter.
Annoyed mom who dealt with an overstimulated DD last night
PS it was cool that you taught DD to do a really nice cartwheel on her bad leg

Dear Me
You need to Gibbs Slap your own head. You know vacuuming throws your back out but you did it anyway Monday night as DH didn't get to it because he was off helping the neighbor again. Now I can't sleep and it is all my own fault.
Stupid Me

[2chatter]

186momx - I had to Google Gibbs slap.

[judyblume14]

Aug 2, 2017 11:57:40 GMT -5 olenka said:

I really want to see this chicken reiki practitioner in action

[traveltheworld]

Dear DS:

Your behaviour over the past few days has been unacceptable. You are 5. You know better than to taunt your sister and openly defy me at every turn. I'm now really dreading taking the two of you camping by myself with our friends.

Signed,
Frustrated mommy

Dear DH's boss:

While it's sweet that you want to rent some office space for DH, we just bought a house and were really looking forward to having him set up in his new beautiful home office. Now that he is used to it, DH actually likes working from home. Oh well.

Signed,
Still grateful employee's wife who appreciates your support with the whole relocation thing