In randomly appropriate timing, I'm reading "sex object, a memoir" by Jessica Valenti. It discusses some of these very topics about our conditioning and random sexual assaults (subway, etc.) So far, a decent read
In randomly appropriate timing, I'm reading "sex object, a memoir" by Jessica Valenti. It discusses some of these very topics about our conditioning and random sexual assaults (subway, etc.) So far, a decent read
DH was like, "why didn't you ever say anything?!?"
1. It's been normal my whole life, and until recently it hasn't occurred to me to mention it.
2. That's actually NOT fucking normal, and I don't have to stand for it.
3. I'm saying something now. Do you have a problem with that?
4. I'm about to light this creepy groper up. You best have my back, unless you want some too.
When I woke up at 3:45 and couldn't get back to sleep, I read some comments on Entertainment Weekly's Facebook post of the story. JFC. Why did I do that to myself?
Things I have learned: TS is a slut, so what does it matter? She's lying Why didn't she make a scene? If he touched her bare ass, it means she wasn't wearing underwear so she obviously deserved it. (This was my favorite - who knew all undies are made of chainmail and cannot be penetrated?) Plenty of other men have touched her, so why does it matter? It's not like she was raped!
When I woke up at 3:45 and couldn't get back to sleep, I read some comments on Entertainment Weekly's Facebook post of the story. JFC. Why did I do that to myself?
Things I have learned: TS is a slut, so what does it matter? She's lying Why didn't she make a scene? If he touched her bare ass, it means she wasn't wearing underwear so she obviously deserved it. (This was my favorite - who knew all undies are made of chainmail and cannot be penetrated?) Plenty of other men have touched her, so why does it matter? It's not like she was raped!
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
When I woke up at 3:45 and couldn't get back to sleep, I read some comments on Entertainment Weekly's Facebook post of the story. JFC. Why did I do that to myself?
Things I have learned: TS is a slut, so what does it matter? She's lying Why didn't she make a scene? If he touched her bare ass, it means she wasn't wearing underwear so she obviously deserved it. (This was my favorite - who knew all undies are made of chainmail and cannot be penetrated?) Plenty of other men have touched her, so why does it matter? It's not like she was raped!
I need that FUCK THIS panda GIF.
I'm not sure if it's the comments themselves, or the fact that they don't surprise me that makes me more mad.
The underwear comment might be the most enraging to me. I mean, first, if she weren't wearing underwear, THAT STILL DOES NOT MAKE IT OK! Second, try sliding your hand up under your undies to touch your ass. IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO SLIDE YOUR HAND UNDER A THIN PIECE OF COTTON OR POLYESTER!
The underwear comment might be the most enraging to me. I mean, first, if she weren't wearing underwear, THAT STILL DOES NOT MAKE IT OK! Second, try sliding your hand up under your undies to touch your ass. IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO SLIDE YOUR HAND UNDER A THIN PIECE OF COTTON OR POLYESTER!
You know, I hate how we are socialized to do this. Scoot over avoid it. Smile while moving a hand off a boob or butt. We're not supposed to react strongly or lash out when we're famous, or on the air. It fucking blows. It is so infuriating to me.
In every one of these instances (and there are SO many more) I wish the women would have just decked the guys. But no, they're ladies, and they have to be nice on the air. Can you imagine the outcry if they responded in a physical way? I really wish a motherfucker would.
Then there's this lady, who's my goddamned hero: www.cbc.ca/player/play/1018190403623 She's in the field, reporting live on a concert, and a rando comes up behind her and tries to kiss her on the cheek. She pushes him away, hard and then says NO. She then blasts him on Facebook with photos.
Some fans of my favorite band started Groove Safe to raise awareness about groping at concerts. All these fucking dudes chimed in like "What?!? That doesn't happen! If it does, why don't you deck someone?!?" Lots of women shared their experiences. Even DH was shocked when I said it happens regularly. You don't always know who the hand belongs to, and the person has moved along before you can react, or you don't want to cause a scene, or you're alone, or whatever. I've definitely been more assertive in the past few years and have physically removed dudes from my personal space. But the last time it happened to me, I ran into a vague acquaintance while DH was in the bathroom. He said he was so happy to see me that he could kiss me, and then he did. I was SHOCKED. I pushed him and said don't do that, and then he doubled down with "why not? I missed you!" All the lectures I've given about no means no, hands to yourself, yada yada yada, flew right out of my head until he'd disappeared into the crowd, and then *I* felt guilty! This was last summer, when you bet your ass I wish a motherfucker would! The conditioning bred into women is runs deep. Shit happens even when we're vigilant. And why the fuck should we have to be vigilant all the damn time? Why can't I dance at Phish unmolested?
TLDR: if you enjoy concerts, check out Groove Safe and support them!
I'm going to have to check this out! I actually brought a friend to a Tech N9ne show and girl got to see me get crazy. I'm usually 'a lady' about it, but I got ballsy.
At that show I felt a hand on my ass and first time it was like... I'm in the pit, you're squished, okay. Second was an obvious ass grab and I turned and saw this dude (apparent that he was drunk) standing there smiling. I put flat hand against his chest and threw him to the ground with a "KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME." His friends just stood there and laughed at it. WTF? Your friend is Mr. Molester and all you can do is giggle?
Then right around Trump's election I was literally 'grabbed by the pussy' and it hurt, startled me, and I whipped around and 4 guys just shrugged and laughed and looked at me. This is not uncommon. It's not unusual. Crowded room, dark, lots of people and hands and bodies? Plenty of men take advantage of that and it not only horrifies me how often it is, but then people try to deny it happens. In general people try to explain sexual assault away. No.
Good for TSwift for pursuing this and bringing it to light. I'm so sorry that it happened to her though.
Some fans of my favorite band started Groove Safe to raise awareness about groping at concerts. All these fucking dudes chimed in like "What?!? That doesn't happen! If it does, why don't you deck someone?!?" Lots of women shared their experiences. Even DH was shocked when I said it happens regularly. You don't always know who the hand belongs to, and the person has moved along before you can react, or you don't want to cause a scene, or you're alone, or whatever. I've definitely been more assertive in the past few years and have physically removed dudes from my personal space. But the last time it happened to me, I ran into a vague acquaintance while DH was in the bathroom. He said he was so happy to see me that he could kiss me, and then he did. I was SHOCKED. I pushed him and said don't do that, and then he doubled down with "why not? I missed you!" All the lectures I've given about no means no, hands to yourself, yada yada yada, flew right out of my head until he'd disappeared into the crowd, and then *I* felt guilty! This was last summer, when you bet your ass I wish a motherfucker would! The conditioning bred into women is runs deep. Shit happens even when we're vigilant. And why the fuck should we have to be vigilant all the damn time? Why can't I dance at Phish unmolested?
TLDR: if you enjoy concerts, check out Groove Safe and support them!
I'm going to have to check this out! I actually brought a friend to a Tech N9ne show and girl got to see me get crazy. I'm usually 'a lady' about it, but I got ballsy.
At that show I felt a hand on my ass and first time it was like... I'm in the pit, you're squished, okay. Second was an obvious ass grab and I turned and saw this dude (apparent that he was drunk) standing there smiling. I put flat hand against his chest and threw him to the ground with a "KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME." His friends just stood there and laughed at it. WTF? Your friend is Mr. Molester and all you can do is giggle?
Then right around Trump's election I was literally 'grabbed by the pussy' and it hurt, startled me, and I whipped around and 4 guys just shrugged and laughed and looked at me. This is not uncommon. It's not unusual. Crowded room, dark, lots of people and hands and bodies? Plenty of men take advantage of that and it not only horrifies me how often it is, but then people try to deny it happens. In general people try to explain sexual assault away. No.
Good for TSwift for pursuing this and bringing it to light. I'm so sorry that it happened to her though.
Sorry I didn't mean to like this, I meant to hit quote, and my dog pulled me at the same time and I apparently hit the like button.
Some fans of my favorite band started Groove Safe to raise awareness about groping at concerts. All these fucking dudes chimed in like "What?!? That doesn't happen! If it does, why don't you deck someone?!?" Lots of women shared their experiences. Even DH was shocked when I said it happens regularly. You don't always know who the hand belongs to, and the person has moved along before you can react, or you don't want to cause a scene, or you're alone, or whatever. I've definitely been more assertive in the past few years and have physically removed dudes from my personal space. But the last time it happened to me, I ran into a vague acquaintance while DH was in the bathroom. He said he was so happy to see me that he could kiss me, and then he did. I was SHOCKED. I pushed him and said don't do that, and then he doubled down with "why not? I missed you!" All the lectures I've given about no means no, hands to yourself, yada yada yada, flew right out of my head until he'd disappeared into the crowd, and then *I* felt guilty! This was last summer, when you bet your ass I wish a motherfucker would! The conditioning bred into women is runs deep. Shit happens even when we're vigilant. And why the fuck should we have to be vigilant all the damn time? Why can't I dance at Phish unmolested?
TLDR: if you enjoy concerts, check out Groove Safe and support them!
I'm going to have to check this out! I actually brought a friend to a Tech N9ne show and girl got to see me get crazy. I'm usually 'a lady' about it, but I got ballsy.
At that show I felt a hand on my ass and first time it was like... I'm in the pit, you're squished, okay. Second was an obvious ass grab and I turned and saw this dude (apparent that he was drunk) standing there smiling. I put flat hand against his chest and threw him to the ground with a "KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME." His friends just stood there and laughed at it. WTF? Your friend is Mr. Molester and all you can do is giggle?
Then right around Trump's election I was literally 'grabbed by the pussy' and it hurt, startled me, and I whipped around and 4 guys just shrugged and laughed and looked at me. This is not uncommon. It's not unusual. Crowded room, dark, lots of people and hands and bodies? Plenty of men take advantage of that and it not only horrifies me how often it is, but then people try to deny it happens. In general people try to explain sexual assault away. No.
Good for TSwift for pursuing this and bringing it to light. I'm so sorry that it happened to her though.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, chica. I go to Phish shows where everyone is "chill," so the assault is far less violent and obvious. I always go with DH so I wasn't even aware of how often it really happens, until a friend (who used to go solo until she met us!) mentioned it and I started to pay more attention.
Can I tell one of my favorite phish stories? I've wanted to before, but it felt lame - lol. We were up close in the front at a GA show. We'd waited a long time to get those spots so we were friendly with the people around us. At one point, this obnoxious dude makes his way to where we are. He's loud and dancing big. He bumps into me once or twice, and I noticed all the men in our "group" tensed up and shifted toward me a little. Alert. Nice. Then the dude grabs my shoulder and starts jumping up and down "WOO YEAH!!" Now the guys take a step. I shoved the dude and yelled "Don't fucking touch me! Get the fuck out of here!" I shove him again and he disappeared like smoke. At past shows if something like that happened, I would trade places with DH. That's all well and good if you have a male friend with you, but fuck that! It's phish and you will NOT take that from me, creeper. I got my props at set break.
Post by sugarglider on Aug 12, 2017 8:03:22 GMT -5
I'm glad she's out as a defendant as the deep pockets in this case, but I worry about the suit overall. Obviously there have been great quotes from her testimony that make us all want to cheer. But juries can be funny. And if TS was stone cold on the stand, the jury might not believe her side.
Any time I look outside my bubble I realize how far we have to go.
In his own closing arguments, David Mueller attorney Gabriel McFarland wondered why his client would introduce himself by name and then almost immediately after reach under the skirt of "one of the planet's, one of the country's, biggest superstars?"
Uhhhhh because your client is a disgusting perv?
Because he's a fucking entitled white man who is used to grabbing whatever he wants without consequence???
I'm beyond thrilled that he has to pay her the $1.
Wait. Is this sarcasm? I'm not a lawyer so I don't get this part. Wasn't she suing for $1M? $1 dollar seems like a slap in the face? Like, her assault was only worth $1?
Wait. Is this sarcasm? I'm not a lawyer so I don't get this part. Wasn't she suing for $1M? $1 dollar seems like a slap in the face? Like, her assault was only worth $1?
$1. She didn't do it for the money, she did it for the verdict and the trial, and for others who can't.She
She also said if the jury awarded her any money above that the entire award would go to sexual assault charities.
Wait. Is this sarcasm? I'm not a lawyer so I don't get this part. Wasn't she suing for $1M? $1 dollar seems like a slap in the face? Like, her assault was only worth $1?
$1. She didn't do it for the money, she did it for the verdict and the trial, and for others who can't.
I get that it was never about the money. He's the one who sued first. But why wasn't she awarded more substantial damages? Again, not a lawyer. But $1 doesn't seem like an even exchange for an assault like this.
$1. She didn't do it for the money, she did it for the verdict and the trial, and for others who can't.
I get that it was never about the money. He's the one who sued first. But why wasn't she awarded more substantial damages? Again, not a lawyer. But $1 doesn't seem like an even exchange for an assault like this.
I get that it was never about the money. He's the one who sued first. But why wasn't she awarded more substantial damages? Again, not a lawyer. But $1 doesn't seem like an even exchange for an assault like this.
Thats all she asked for
Oh! I swear I read over and over again that he sued for $3M and she countersued for $1M.
Oh! I swear I read over and over again that he sued for $3M and she countersued for $1M.
Just $1. If she was awarded $1M (for example) it would become about the rich girl who just got richer. For $1 it's about the verdict and what she had to deal with as a celebrity with power and an amplifier and what women deal with every day who don't have her voice. People are talking about THAT, and not the poor little rich girl who whined and sued some guy instead of simply dealing with it like she should have because it's what women are supposed to do and she can't take a joke...
Jury awards and punitive damages are often about sending a message (think about the McDonald's case. Hundreds of injuries prior to that case and the punitive award in that case is what got them to finally change the water temperature to reduce the risk of injury.) Same thing here, only the opposite. Minimal money means maximum coverage and discussion of the issues; money is a distraction. (Again, see McDonald's.) She was very smart here.