Genital exams at well check-ups for boys but not for girls?

[vivianhh]

I originally posted this as a reply to an older post about if it was normal for pediatricians to perform genital exams on boys but it didn't really get any response so I thought I would repost it as its own post.


For my son (who just turned 12), the pediatrician is very matter-of-fact about it, which I think really helps reduce embarrassment. She'll say something like "Now I need to check your penis and testicles, all right?". Then she looks, feels each testicle, asks him to cough, and very gently checks that his foreskin retracts (without forcing it, don't worry), going quickly and not treating it any differently than any other part of the body. Another thing she does that reduces embarrassment is she never actually has him take his underpants off, she just uses her left hand to pull the front of the waistband down.

One thing that I am confused about though, is that when examining my daughter (14), the same pediatrician doesn't do any kind of genital check. When DD was younger, she would pull her waistband out, I'm assuming to check for hair growth, but since DD started her period, she hasn't done any sort of genital check on her. Is that normal? I remember it being something similar for when I was growing up, so maybe it's standard for girls to not get checked like boys do. I'm not sure, anyone know?

What do you consider normal for your sons and daughters?

EDIT: One more question on this topic, I've been googling around about it and I've seen people say that the pediatrician should never retract a boy's foreskin during a check-up. Now, I know that's true for little kids, but even for older kids and if she's really gentle?

It's always seemed normal to me, and as I've said before, it makes sense.

[cajunmom]

It didn't get any response because you distracted everyone with your assertion that a female wouldn't need to go to a GYN until they're an adult or sexually active.

ETA: This is after several posters said the genital checks on teen girls probably stopped because they would be transitioning to a GYN.

[karinothing]

Aug 9, 2017 18:54:08 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

It didn't get any response because you distracted everyone with your assertion that a female wouldn't need to go to a GYN until they're an adult or sexually active.

ETA: This is after several posters said the genital checks on teen girls probably stopped because they would be transitioning to a GYN.

What is the advice that? When I was a younger I was told to go to Gyn at 18 or when I was sexually active. But I have no idea why that would be.

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 18:54:08 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

It didn't get any response because you distracted everyone with your assertion that a female wouldn't need to go to a GYN until they're an adult or sexually active.

ETA: This is after several posters said the genital checks on teen girls probably stopped because they would be transitioning to a GYN.

There's tons of reasons to go to the GYN before you're an adult/sexually active but at least where I live, nobody starts getting annual check-ups until that is the case. 

And there was never a real genital check done, just a quick look for hair growth, which stopped when she got her period at 12.

Besides, this practice is where I heard to wait until then to take DD to the gyn, so at least in this case that isn't the reason.



And can we please keep this on topic?

[cajunmom]

karinothing, Yes, in many instances that would be adequate. But there are plenty of reasons that a young woman could need to see a gyn before being sexually active...I've known girls that were diagnosed with endometriosis and similar things before they were 18. That was the point we were trying to make.

[themysteriouswife]

Boys can get life threatinh hernias. That's the only reason I can of.

[karinothing]

Aug 9, 2017 19:00:06 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

karinothing, Yes, in many instances that would be adequate. But there are plenty of reasons that a young woman could need to see a gyn before being sexually active...I've known girls that were diagnosed with endometriosis and similar things before they were 18. That was the point we were trying to make.

That makes sense. I would just assume a pedi would ask if they saw a gyn and if not, evaluate the patient as necessary.

[cajunmom]

In all reality, it's probably because most male genitalia is external and easier to quickly handle and check. They can quickly feel and see if there's a hernia or hydrocele in the testicles. Female issues would mostly be internal.

[spitforspat]

Why don't you just ask the pediatrician?

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 19:03:28 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

In all reality, it's probably because most male genitalia is external and easier to quickly handle and check. They can quickly feel and see if there's a hernia or hydrocele in the testicles. Female issues would mostly be internal.

That makes sense. As I said in my original post, she doesn't even take his underwear off, she just pulls the front of the waistband down and feels for lumps, has him cough, and checks his foreskin. It only takes her like a minute.

Also, I just realized, at least for uncircumcised boys, once they reach their pre-teens, checking for hygiene is also a pretty important to do. Most boys that age are not exactly concerned with bodily hygiene, and if they don't keep "down there" clean, it can cause a bunch of problems.

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 19:08:10 GMT -5 spitforspat said:

Why don't you just ask the pediatrician?

I was going to at their last exam, but there wasn't really a good time. If I asked her when my daughter was in the room, she would probably find it hilarious and make fun of my son for it, and if I asked her when my son was in the room, he would probably find it unfair and get upset.

[Deleted]

Doing a quick check of a penis/testicles is like quickly doing a breast exam at a family physician - it's an external exam.

a full on gyno exam would be needed on a young woman - and those are done by gynecologists, not typically pediatricians...and breast exams don't tend to start until @ 20 unless there is suspicion of something.

[cajunmom]

Aug 9, 2017 19:18:20 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

Aug 9, 2017 19:08:10 GMT -5 spitforspat said:

Why don't you just ask the pediatrician?

I was going to at their last exam, but there wasn't really a good time. If I asked her when my daughter was in the room, she would probably find it hilarious and make fun of my son for it, and if I asked her when my son was in the room, he would probably find it unfair and get upset.

The pediatrician would find it hilarious? I sure hope that isn't what you mean. 

Anyway, you need to be comfortable talking about these issues with their doctor. If you're concerned about embarrassing your son just pull the doctor aside at the end of the visit and talk privately. 

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 19:46:39 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Aug 9, 2017 19:18:20 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

I was going to at their last exam, but there wasn't really a good time. If I asked her when my daughter was in the room, she would probably find it hilarious and make fun of my son for it, and if I asked her when my son was in the room, he would probably find it unfair and get upset.

The pediatrician would find it hilarious? I sure hope that isn't what you mean. 

Anyway, you need to be comfortable talking about these issues with their doctor. If you're concerned about embarrassing your son just pull the doctor aside at the end of the visit and talk privately. 

God no! I mean my 14 year old daughter would find it hilarious that her brother needs to get an embarrassing exam but she doesn't.

And I'm not suggesting that she should be giving my daughter a full pelvic, I just think it's strange there isn't any external breast or genital check at all since she got her period.

[themysteriouswife]

I'm shocked they allowed her in the room during his exam. Personally, there's no way I'd allow my son in the room for my daughter's well check once he was old enough to poke fun of her. And vice versa.

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 19:55:27 GMT -5 themysteriouswife said:

I'm shocked they allowed her in the room during his exam. Personally, there's no way I'd allow my son in the room for my daughter's well check once he was old enough to poke fun of her. And vice versa.

You misread my comment, she wasn't allowed in the room during his exam. Each of them sat in the waiting room during the other one's exam. What I was saying was, to talk to the pediatrician about it, I would either have say to "funny" (to her) details about DS's exam in front of DD or "unfair" (to him) details about DD's exam in front of DS.

[cajunmom]

Aug 9, 2017 20:01:48 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

Aug 9, 2017 19:55:27 GMT -5 themysteriouswife said:

I'm shocked they allowed her in the room during his exam. Personally, there's no way I'd allow my son in the room for my daughter's well check once he was old enough to poke fun of her. And vice versa.

You misread my comment, she wasn't allowed in the room during his exam. Each of them sat in the waiting room during the other one's exam. What I was saying was, to talk to the pediatrician about it, I would either have to "funny" (to her) details about DS's exam in front of DD or "unfair" (to him) details about DD's exam in front of DS.

Why does either of them need to know what goes on in the other's exam?

[lemoncupcake]

Aug 9, 2017 19:52:29 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

Aug 9, 2017 19:46:39 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

The pediatrician would find it hilarious? I sure hope that isn't what you mean. 

Anyway, you need to be comfortable talking about these issues with their doctor. If you're concerned about embarrassing your son just pull the doctor aside at the end of the visit and talk privately. 

God no! I mean my 14 year old daughter would find it hilarious that her brother needs to get an embarrassing exam but she doesn't.

And I'm not suggesting that she should be giving my daughter a full pelvic, I just think it's strange there isn't any external breast or genital check at all since she got her period.

Frankly, there isn't much to look at externally. Unless there's some questionable discharge/discomfort; maybe they should ask your daughter about that if they aren't today.

I don't know. DD is young so still gets a full look-over at the doctor and I hadn't thought about when that would stop.

[lemoncupcake]

Aug 9, 2017 20:06:28 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Aug 9, 2017 20:01:48 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

You misread my comment, she wasn't allowed in the room during his exam. Each of them sat in the waiting room during the other one's exam. What I was saying was, to talk to the pediatrician about it, I would either have to "funny" (to her) details about DS's exam in front of DD or "unfair" (to him) details about DD's exam in front of DS.

Why does either of them need to know what goes on in the other's exam?

i agree - you wouldn't have to phrase it as "Why aren't you checking her if you still check him?" It could be simply "I've noticed that as she's gotten older you no longer check her. Is there anything that we should keep an eye out for/bring to your attention? And when do you recommend she start seeing a gyn?"

[TR]

Aug 9, 2017 20:06:28 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Aug 9, 2017 20:01:48 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

You misread my comment, she wasn't allowed in the room during his exam. Each of them sat in the waiting room during the other one's exam. What I was saying was, to talk to the pediatrician about it, I would either have to "funny" (to her) details about DS's exam in front of DD or "unfair" (to him) details about DD's exam in front of DS.

Why does either of them need to know what goes on in the other's exam?

omg

Someone asked why she didn't ask the pedi and she's explaining why she didn't bring it up. It would have had to have been in front of one or other of the kids based on how their exams went.

[katb]

My girls are 12 and I have a 22 yr DD. The last exam, they did look at their vagina, outer parts - very quickly - but did ask them to take their underwear off and did a quick visual exam. Also did a breast check up and told them to start doing breast exams and taught them how - which I was thrilled. My DD has yet to be to an ob/gyn because her primary does pelvic exams and birth control. I did tell my 22 year old she needs to go get pap smears now. She shoudl probably have started the last 2 years or so.

[mrsjuleshs]

I took DD to the gyn right after she turned 15 because of her horrible periods. Her doc has done a breast exam every "well woman" visit. They just don't do a PAP till they are older or an internal exam unless they think there is a bigger issue. An exam on girls is much more invasive. But she hasn't had a check for hair or anything like that at any physical since she was a toddler.

[cajunmom]

Aug 9, 2017 20:08:53 GMT -5 TR said:

Aug 9, 2017 20:06:28 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Why does either of them need to know what goes on in the other's exam?

omg

Someone asked why she didn't ask the pedi and she's explaining why she didn't bring it up. It would have had to have been in front of one or other of the kids based on how their exams went.

That's why I suggested she pull aside the pedi after the visit and talk to her without the kids hearing...

[cajunmom]

Aug 9, 2017 20:11:04 GMT -5 ste said:

The original interaction in the other post was strange, but some of you are being fucking WEIRD in here.

I assume you're referring to me, since you liked TR's post. Maybe you can explain what is so weird about what I've said?

-OP asks why her DD doesn't get genital checks.
-Ideas are given as to why that may be.
-Best suggestion is "Ask the pediatrician"
-OP says she can't do that because she doesn't want to embarrass son.
-I suggested she talk to the doctor alone after the next visit.

So, what is fucking weird about that?

[cajunmom]

Okay 

[cajunmom]

Aug 9, 2017 20:29:12 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Aug 9, 2017 20:17:10 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

I agree, you're just being kind of aggressive in here, when a similar question about boys got tons of answers. Unless things have changed most girls don't routinely go to a GYN until they're sexually active or older. It definitely leaves a good amount of years where they aren't being checked, which is probably fine but still a legitimate question.

I understand that! That's why she should ask her pediatrician why her daughter isn't being checked. I don't know why suggesting she actually talk to her doctor to find out why her daughter doesn't get a similar check as her son does is being aggressive. 

[themysteriouswife]

Aug 9, 2017 20:01:48 GMT -5 vivianhh said:

Aug 9, 2017 19:55:27 GMT -5 themysteriouswife said:

I'm shocked they allowed her in the room during his exam. Personally, there's no way I'd allow my son in the room for my daughter's well check once he was old enough to poke fun of her. And vice versa.

You misread my comment, she wasn't allowed in the room during his exam. Each of them sat in the waiting room during the other one's exam. What I was saying was, to talk to the pediatrician about it, I would either have say to "funny" (to her) details about DS's exam in front of DD or "unfair" (to him) details about DD's exam in front of DS.

Ah that makes more sense. Sorry, I misread

[vivianhh]

One more question on this topic, I've been googling around about it and I've seen people say that the pediatrician should never retract a boy's foreskin during a check-up. Now, I know that's true for little kids, but even for older kids and if she's really gentle?

It's always seemed normal to me, and as I've said before, it makes sense.

[rupertpenny]

Isn't there just more stuff that go wrong with boys that can be diagnosed with a quick look? Foreskin problems, testicles not descending properly, hernia, etc. I don't know if there are any similar problems that can be diagnosed with girls by a quick visual check.

[vivianhh]

Aug 9, 2017 21:50:34 GMT -5 @natariru said:

OP resurrected an older thread about genital exams - vanillacourage's thread was originally posted on June 6th. And then started this one. She only has 10 posts and all of them are about this topic.

That's a lot weirder than anything cajunmom said.

Yeah, because a friend recommended this forum a few weeks ago and I never had a reason to make an account until now. I then searched to see if the question had already been answered and found a topic that was kinda related. I posted there and didn't get much response so I just made a new topic.