Randoms

[raangoli]

I wasn't sure what else to call this thread, but I've been thinking of the board lately with all the things I've been struggling with. 

First, we were going to move her to a closer daycare, but I had reservations. One of them being the lack of diversity at the new center. Even though she's only 18 months, it's something that means a lot to me. Right now her class has a good amount of diversity - she is one of 4 Indian kids in her class, and there are also other races represented which I am glad for. I raised this point to MH who agreed that he was concerned about the lack of diversity at the new center. Hopefully we can stay at our current center even though it is a PITA and farther away. The center we were going to switch to says we can't cancel until they can replace our spot from the waiting list. What? You never stipulated that at the beginning...this should be interesting. 

Second, I have been feeling like a failure since I don't make Indian food at home often, if ever. It takes a lot of time that I just don't have. And BB is in a phase where she needs to be ON TOP OF ME ALL THE TIME which makes cooking hard. I distract her, give her things to play with around me, ask her to help me, etc. It works for a short amount of time and then she's back to begging to be picked up. 

Finally, I've joined a local Indian moms group on FB. I have zero local Indian friends, so hopefully these women don't turn out to be weirdos and I can make new friends along the way.

I hope this post isn't too naval-gazing, that wasn't my intention! 

What's going on with you ladies?

[andwhat]

I hope you figure out your daycare situation. Diversity is important to us too (moreso me than H). I don't ever want DD to be in a situation where she is considered an other.

As for your Indian meals, can you cook one big dish on the weekends. I know I don't have time to do much during the week. I try to make 2 big meals on my day off and eat on those throughout the week and then throw quick meals in for the rest. I don't know how a working parent(s) can do more during the week. I may have time management issues though.

As for me I have been living in a perpetual state of exhaustion. This makes me feel like I am failing at everything. My kid still won't sleep in her bed all night without bribes and at this point she is just punking us. I don't know how to fix it though. H and I do not get enough time together and we don't get enough time together as a complete family. I am trying to change my job assignment to try to improve home, but my work doesn't care about that until someone loses it or commits suicide (unfortunately we have had a few of those in the past 5 years). I just need a better balance...and more sleep.

[raangoli]

andwhat I am anxiously checking my email to see if the center we were going to move to has responded to me. So far, not yet. Ugh. I am going to try to make the food on the weekends - and maybe also enlist my mom's help. Maybe she can make me freezer meals that we can eat. Am sorry to hear about the exhaustion. I hope that you can talk to management to get them to see that something has to change with scheduling. Would it help if your coworkers banded together to request the change? It sounds like it's a pervasive issue.

[raangoli]

Aug 10, 2017 14:51:41 GMT -5 @natariru said:

raangoli did you check the Y in your town? BIL & SIL sent their kids there and were happy. I dunno what the diversity is like though.

I had called them late last year and got a lukewarm response. I am on their waiting list as well though. The place with the strange cancellation policy is the place across the street from the Y if you're familiar/remember. 

[raangoli]

Aug 10, 2017 16:20:35 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Aug 10, 2017 15:02:19 GMT -5 raangoli said:

I had called them late last year and got a lukewarm response. I am on their waiting list as well though. The place with the strange cancellation policy is the place across the street from the Y if you're familiar/remember. 

We were so happy at the Y in Garwood. SO SO happy. The diversity was perfect. The teachers were attentive and did so much w the kids. They only start at 2 years old though.

I dunno if it's too much of a drive for you but if it isn't, I'd check it out.

Thanks! I will check it out. It's not that far at all.

[rootbeerfloat]

I hope you find a daycare situation that works for you and that you make some new friends (that are cool and normal, in addition to being Indian).

I don't cook much of any kind of food, so my standards are pretty low here, but I think if you can manage a meal on weekends and/or via your mom, that's great! Related story: the kids were discussing poi, and DD told him "you have to eat it, brother, because you're Hawaiian!" She also pulls out the Hawaiian card when I remind her to use utensils, and she'd rather eat with her fingers :/

[orangeblossom]

raangoli, I hope you can find a daycare solution. I agree with others, about cooking on the weekends or whatever "free" day you have, so as not to stress yourself out during the week. I'm working nights now, and I tried to cook one day before I went to work, because I didn't get a chance to cook over the weekend. I quickly, realized that was a nope and won't be doing that again.

andwhat, I hope you can figure out the work solution and DD stops punking you and sleeps in her own bed soon.

I have the opposite problem as andwhat, DH are working opposite shifts now, and the amount of time we see each other is just fine for me, sadly. For various reasons, I'm just kind of done/over it lest things change, and to be honest, even if they did, not sure it would change much for me. I love him, but liking him these days, is a whole different ballgame. No hugs needed. I'm good.

[raangoli]

rootbeerfloat I pull the Indian card when BB won't use her spoon or fork. I joke that she's half Indian, so that's just what she knows Most of the time she will hold the utensil with one hand and eat with the other. And thanks for making me feel better about the cooking - it's so hard and I feel pulled in a million directions. She is fed and eats a balanced diet, so I have to remind myself that is what matters.

orangeblossom It sounds as though you are at peace with such a difficult issue. Much love to you.

[orangeblossom]

Thank you raangoli

[dr.girlfriend]

I think you're right to consider the diversity issue, as long as you can find a diverse option that's workable. For Indian friends/food, I would cut yourself some slack. I grew up in Oklahoma in the 1970's and 80's...there was only one other Indian family in town, and there were no Indian grocery stores within miles even if my mom was a good cook. ;-) I still like Indian food. As long as your kid is eating a good variety of food (and if so she's doing better than my 8-year-old) you can save the big time-consuming Indian meals for when she's a little older and will have fun helping you cook. I feel like I got NOTHING done until DS was at least 3 and could sit and play by himself for a little while.

[cookiemdough]

raangoli At younger ages I would cook large time consuming meals only on weekends and sometimes at night after the kids are in bed. Now my youngest (4) helps so I can make it an activity on Sunday. Don't beat yourself up. I think there are phases where you just have to be in survival mode.

andwhat sorry about the exhaustion. Have you been to the doctor for blood work just to ensure everything is in balance, etc?

@orangeblosom giving you a hug anyway, been there. Just know you are wonderful and deserve to feel loved and valued. I went soooo long without it that it is taking me a long way to find myself back.

My random. I am on my family week long vacation. My oldest made me so angry last night and I am still not over it. We were at an amusement park for the second time this week. There for 8 hours. When we got back he wanted to go to the pool, and everyone was exhausted. He calls his dad crying about how he missed him and that no one was spending time with him. My ex instead of seeing through this was like, "I get it sometimes it is hard being the only boy with nothing to do. Maybe you can come home early if you are bored." Um what? We have been to Busch Gardens for 2 days, water country for 1, we had a beach day, we have played putt putt, 50 million games of uno and other card games. I am pretty sure we didn't do any of that for my fun and entertainment. I called ex back to remind him that we shouldn't allow him to play us off each other. He doesn't get to be good cop and try to portray me or my family negatively to our kids. He is all like well he didn't tell me you did all that stuff?!? It.Doesn't.matter.

It is making me want to cancel the weekend I have planned to take the kids to NYC. I am the only one that takes them on vacation because I believe in trying to have some experiences with the kids If possible, but I don't deal well ungrateful kids.

[raangoli]

Thanks dr.girlfriend and cookiemdough. I grew up where there was little diversity as well and the nearest Indian grocery store was and hour + away. I asked my SIL how she introduced food to my niece and nephew and she gave me some tips and ideas. When I had asked my mom she was all "you ate everything I gave you". Uh I doubt that but OK.

as for the daycare issue, the center we were going to move to has not responded to my questions (I asked via email and left a message yesterday) so we will see.

Sorry about the frustration with your son cookiemdough. I'd still take them to NYC for the experience. Kids can be little shits sometimes but I'm sure they will look back on everything you've done for them someday and appreciate it.

[orangeblossom]

Thank you cookiemdough. I really appreciate it. I hope you are well on the way of getting back to your true self.

I'm sorry about DS. I'm sure that has to be frustrating.

[meshaliuknits]

Cookie, I feel you on the ungrateful kids thing. We are just heading home from our week-long vacation. We went to the zoo, Lego land and two beaches. In a moment of pique my daughter said we NEVER get to do anything fun. The loom on H's face... I thought for sure her short life was at an end. If she's not careful the only place we'll be going is to visit my sister in Bakersfield. She doesn't know boring.

[andwhat]

cookiemdough I do need to schedule a physical. I think my exhaustion is due to my hours, but it wouldn't hurt to make sure nothing else is going on. My body isn't cut out for the early morning hours.

I feel you with the ungrateful kids. That would make my blood boil. Hope it doesn't ruin your vacation.

[andwhat]

H and I went away for the weekend, no kid. OMG it was glorious. I slept in and laid around and only did what I wanted to do. I feel refreshed. It is short lived though because I will be back to work and the early hours.

[bugandbibs]

I am struggling. I can't keep everything together and I feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand directions. The kids have been so needy, I can't keep on top of the household stuff and I'm cranky and stressed all the time.

I just want to run away to Hawaii for a little while all by myself.

[andwhat]

Aug 13, 2017 23:20:47 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

I am struggling. I can't keep everything together and I feel like I'm being pulled in a thousand directions. The kids have been so needy, I can't keep on top of the household stuff and I'm cranky and stressed all the time.

I just want to run away to Hawaii for a little while all by myself.

I am sorry you are struggling. I am there with you. I feel like everyone I know needs a break. I hope you get one soon.

[thejackpot]

orangeblossom ,g hope you get to a better place. You have had a big transition school, work so be gentle with yourself.
raangoli , don't beat yourself up. Your lo is so little that full big meals and being Mommy may be too much. Do what you can and don't beat yourself up too much.
cookiemdough , I am dealing with an ungrateful 8 yr old so I feel your pain. That boy is getting on my nerves so much this past week. I hope you go to NY and it's a great and appreciated trip.
meshaliuknits , haha, she doesn't know how good she has it 🙂
andwhat, glad you got a weekend away. Just what the dr ordered!
My random is I am feeling so pulled. These kids and their calendars is crazy! Between them and trying to do normal stuff, it's a constant state of motion. I am in bed and I asked them to give me thirty minutes. My living room will probably let me know this was a bad idea.

[meshaliuknits]

thejackpot I'll keep your living room in my thoughts.

[raangoli]

Update: the new center filled our spot from their wait list so BB can stay in her current center. I'm so glad!

Also I am flying home tonight from LA and I can't wait to hug my baby girl soon.

[insominac]

Aug 17, 2017 10:57:28 GMT -5 raangoli said:

Update: the new center filled our spot from their wait list so BB can stay in her current center. I'm so glad!

Also I am flying home tonight from LA and I can't wait to hug my baby girl soon.

I didn't know you were here! If there's a next time, let me know

[raangoli]

Aug 18, 2017 3:03:04 GMT -5 insominac said:

Aug 17, 2017 10:57:28 GMT -5 raangoli said:

Update: the new center filled our spot from their wait list so BB can stay in her current center. I'm so glad!

Also I am flying home tonight from LA and I can't wait to hug my baby girl soon.

I didn't know you were here! If there's a next time, let me know

I will! I love it out there so I hope to come back soon