The tale of Little Man G

[oneslybookworm]

Now that I'm back at work and procrastinating, I have time to jot down this post about our experience with little G!

We got the call around 10:30am on July 6th.  DH was out riding his bike and I was binge watching "The Great British Baking Show" on Netflix. Our agency contact called and we chitchatted for a hot second, and then she broke the news. The night before, a baby boy had been born and the birth mother really liked us and wanted to talk with us. She made it clear we were the only ones she was talking to and that she had "picked us" so I shouldn't stress too much, but that I needed to get DH home because she wanted to talk with us ASAP.

So, DH got home (after I called him, bawling) and we spoke with our agency contact, and then the birth mom. We talked about general things (level of openness, how to communicate, what we wanted to name him, etc.), and then promised to see her as soon as we got into town. We hung up, took showers, and basically packed our life into our car because we had no idea how long we'd be in Louisiana before we could return home.

On the drive down, DH and I were a mix of all the emotions. Excitement, terror, logistic planning, etc. We talked names (and decided), tried to secure daycare (turns out December is the earliest we can get in), bought some stuff on amazon, booked a hotel and an Air BNB for the stay, and tried to tie up loose ends with work. Luckily, both our bosses were extremely understanding and were able to work with us to basically take a few months off with no notice. I'm so thankful for that, honestly, it removed a lot of unnecessary stress that would have just been more than I could deal with.

By the time we got to the hospital, it was 1:00am on the 7th. The birth mom wanted to meet us immediately, and I was exhausted, but there was no way I would have said no to anything she asked at that point. We got to the hospital at 1am (2am "our" time), and stayed there until around 3am (4am our time). Then, went to the hotel and had to unpack the car and get checked in, and then managed to get a few hours sleep before waking up and starting over again.

Baby G was in the NICU, so he wasn't released right away. He was born at approx. 35 weeks, so was having basic "preemie" issues...not able to suck/swallow/breathe correctly during feeding (so he had an NG tube), low blood sugar, jaundice, and a higher respiration rate due to fluid in the lungs (he was a c-section baby). All things that were considered normal and not super worrisome, but still seeing him hooked up to all the monitors and machines was hard. He was SO incredibly tiny (born at 5lbs, and would later get down to 4lbs 12oz). He was in NICU for 6 days before he was released, and once released, we took him back to the Air BNB with us (we only stayed in the hotel for a few days). Birth mother had already signed consents, so after release, we were just waiting for ICPC to come through (Interstate paperwork allowing us to cross state lines with the baby).

Initially, we had been told that ICPC would take anywhere from 10-15 business days AFTER release from the hospital. So, that made booking a hotel/place to stay really fun...we had no idea how long we'd be there. We booked the Air BNB for a month and hoped for the best. We were incredibly lucky, the ICPC paperwork actually went through fairly quickly.  He was released on a Tuesday evening, paperwork was sent off to the state late Wednesday, then stayed with the ICPC group in Louisiana until Friday evening, when it was fedexed to Indiana.  Of course, it's government, and no one works on the weekends, so Indiana didn't get it until Monday evening.  Tuesday, we were told we could leave, as it had arrived in Indiana, but we couldn't enter Indiana until the paperwork cleared Indiana.  We got a call an hour or two later telling us that the paperwork had cleared Indiana and we were free to go home, but since we were driving, it wasn't really an issue either way.

The drive back was the worst.  It took THREE DAYS.  We left around 6pm on the Tuesday (after having dinner with the birth mom and her family), and drove a few hours before stopping for the night in Mississippi.  The next morning, we got up and got back on the road, and drove for another 12 hours or so before stopping for the night.  We had planned on just driving through to get to home, but after 12 hours on the road with a newborn, we just couldn't.  So, we stayed in a hotel for another night and finished up the drive on Thursday (DH's birthday). 

So, we've been settling into our house since July 20th.  It's been a learning curve, for sure...at about 3 weeks, little man decided to start screaming every night for a few hours, so that's been stressful.  We're learning ways to deal with it (thank you Bose, for your noise canceling headphones), and we always rock him and stay with him the entire time, but it's still hard.  I started back at work this past Monday, which was really the best thing for me.  I need the balance that work brings and it allows me to be more "present" when I'm home with him.  DH is at home with him for the rest of this month, and will telecommute all of September, before going back to work full time in October.  We hired a nanny to stay with him (since daycare won't happen until December), but if we really like the nanny and things work out, we likely won't go to daycare until he's a few years old.  I like having him in our home, but I also want him in daycare when he's older for the socialization and play aspect.  We'll see how it goes...I'm totally playing that one by ear.

Overall, we're in love with him.  I'm adamant that I don't really like the newborn stage, and we are firmly "one and done", because this shit is HARD.  But, we're getting through and learning each other, and with each passing day it gets better. 

I'll leave this open ended...feel free to ask questions!

[starryfish]

Omg I'm in tears. I'm so happy for you all!!!

I'm sorry he is screaming at night. S did that too and it turned out she has a severe milk allergy. Might not be the case with G but wanted to put that out there, bc no one told us that could be a cause. Luckily we figured it out on our own when she was 6w old.

[oneslybookworm]

Aug 10, 2017 11:48:45 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Omg I'm in tears. I'm so happy for you all!!!

I'm sorry he is screaming at night. S did that too and it turned out she has a severe milk allergy. Might not be the case with G but wanted to put that out there, bc no one told us that could be a cause. Luckily we figured it out on our own when she was 6w old.

How did you know it was a milk allergy?

[starryfish]

Aug 10, 2017 12:09:07 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Aug 10, 2017 11:48:45 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Omg I'm in tears. I'm so happy for you all!!!

I'm sorry he is screaming at night. S did that too and it turned out she has a severe milk allergy. Might not be the case with G but wanted to put that out there, bc no one told us that could be a cause. Luckily we figured it out on our own when she was 6w old.

How did you know it was a milk allergy?

She had a lot of gas...like really bad. She was grunted in her sleep and then would pass gas. So I stopped eating dairy (I bf) to try to help with the gas. It instantly helped. But it takes a month to get out of my system, so we didn't realize it was dairy causing her to scream until a month later when she stopped. She also had mucus in her stools. That is a big sign and also can be blood as well. I just wish someone would have told me it could be milk allergy bc we spent so many nights dealing with her screaming, it took a toll. Pedi just told me it was colic.

I mean it could be colic for G, but I wanted to let you know in case it's not. I'm in a small moms group and 4/25 of us have milk allergy babies. So it's more common then I thought.

If you see mucus or blood in his stool, I would ask your pedi. But you can always try the milk allergy formulas, nutramigen and alimentum

Hugs, newborn stage was harder then I thought.

[loira]

I love that he's here, but man, I feel you on the newborn thing. A was a sweet newborn, but even then, that stage wasn't for me. I was just too anxious and couldn't do the whole 'relax when baby sleeps' thing. I wish I had been able to enjoy it more, but now she's this amazing little toddler, and I feel like I (mostly) have my life and sleep back, and I'm in a much better place.

[King26]

So happy to read this! I also loved the title of this post because one of my favorite students ever had the same name as your little man and I always called him the Little G-man. I agree with you that this was probably the best way for it to happen so you didn't have to wait months again....so happy for you guys!

[shauni27]

I am just so pleased that your family is complete. The newborn phase is SO FUCKING HARD (which I really was not expecting)--I cannot imagine how much tougher it is since it was all sprung on you so last minute.

[oneslybookworm]

Aug 10, 2017 13:52:07 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I am just so pleased that your family is complete. The newborn phase is SO FUCKING HARD (which I really was not expecting)--I cannot imagine how much tougher it is since it was all sprung on you so last minute.

I'm convinced it's hard for everyone, regardless of how much time you've had to prep. But yeah, it's a bitch. Lol. Thank God he's cute!

[starryfish]

Aug 10, 2017 13:55:01 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Aug 10, 2017 13:52:07 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I am just so pleased that your family is complete. The newborn phase is SO FUCKING HARD (which I really was not expecting)--I cannot imagine how much tougher it is since it was all sprung on you so last minute.

I'm convinced it's hard for everyone, regardless of how much time you've had to prep. But yeah, it's a bitch. Lol. Thank God he's cute!

No one is prepared for it, lol

[sassafrass]

Congratulations! I loved following this recent story! I hated the newborn stage so much. h was a tough newborn and at 3 weeks, started screaming and didn't stop until 3 months. Totally a colicky baby. This thing saved us! I'd turn it on as loud as it could go and it would lull her to sleep. She totally needed a 4th trimester! Hang in there. It gets easier!
www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00D2JN87I/ref=sxts_sxwds-tsp_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1502397181&sr=1

[konapoppy]

I am so happy for you! I was just watching a vlog adoption story and thinking of you.

[Chrysanthemum]

Congratulations again! I'm so happy you have your baby.

[cherryvalance]

I'm so happy for you! What an amazing story.

We make the drive out to IN frequently to see my in laws and I can't even imagine doing it with a newborn. This stage does suck, lol.

[thoseareradishes]

Congrats again oneslybookworm, this just made my day I'm so happy you have G home with you and you guys are settling in as a family.

[dellabear]

Aw, congrats again oneslybookworm! What a whirlwind it must have been for you guys. I also was convinced we'd be done at one when DD was a newborn, but then time passed and we felt differently a couple of years down the road.

What are the remaining steps in finalizing the adoption?

[oneslybookworm]

Aug 12, 2017 23:50:56 GMT -5 dellabear said:

Aw, congrats again oneslybookworm! What a whirlwind it must have been for you guys. I also was convinced we'd be done at one when DD was a newborn, but then time passed and we felt differently a couple of years down the road.

What are the remaining steps in finalizing the adoption?

All that's left is terminating bio father's rights (should happen in the next month), 3 more post placement visits with the social worker, and then the petition for finalization (at 6 months of us having custody)!!

[dollyllama]

Thanks for sharing your story, I am so happy for you guys. Congratulations!

[awick14]

I'm so incredibly happy for you.

The newborn stage is defiantly hard. Most people struggle with 9 months of prep, I couldn't imagine doing that with only a few days notice to bring a baby home.

[janegold]

Yay, congratulations again. I am SO happy for you guys!

The thing I struggled with when B was a newborn was understanding his needs. When he cried, I thought he was hungry or gassy. I didn't realize he was tired and unable to fall asleep on his own. Once we got into a rhythm and I was able to find a few tricks that got him to sleep, life got so much easier for us.

Are you able to share any more information about the bio parents, or your plans (if any) to keep in contact with bio mom?

[oneslybookworm]

janegold, we do plan to keep in touch with his birth mom, she's wonderful. We text frequently and check in with each other, she's like an extended family member.


What tricks did you find helpful in getting him to fall asleep?

[janegold]

Aug 15, 2017 19:30:44 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

janegold, we do plan to keep in touch with his birth mom, she's wonderful. We text frequently and check in with each other, she's like an extended family member.


What tricks did you find helpful in getting him to fall asleep?

That's so awesome!

Before we sleep trained, he could rarely fall asleep on his own unless he was in the car or stroller. When we were at home, the best ways to get him to sleep were to put him in his bouncy chair and bounce him with a foot for a few minutes, or to put him in the k'tan. The k'tan especially was instant lights out for him.

[boiler717]

I'm so happy baby bookworm is home!! He's the sweetest!!

[mpc]

oneslybookworm, when I was trying to get DD to fall asleep without nursing her I would swaddle and walk laps around the house with her, usually with some soft music playing (music I liked, not kids music, lol. for my sanity, ya know.) The other thing was she really loved the swing so I would swaddle and stick her in there (buckled in). Her first nap in the morning was always in the swing and she's usually wake up after 30-45 minutes. I discovered that if I ignored her and stayed out of sight, she would often fall back asleep again after about 10 minutes or so.

[oneslybookworm]

Aug 17, 2017 10:06:12 GMT -5 mpc said:

oneslybookworm, when I was trying to get DD to fall asleep without nursing her I would swaddle and walk laps around the house with her, usually with some soft music playing (music I liked, not kids music, lol. for my sanity, ya know.) The other thing was she really loved the swing so I would swaddle and stick her in there (buckled in). Her first nap in the morning was always in the swing and she's usually wake up after 30-45 minutes. I discovered that if I ignored her and stayed out of sight, she would often fall back asleep again after about 10 minutes or so.

We have discovered the swing and it's magical properties!!

[thoseareradishes]

Aug 17, 2017 13:00:10 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Aug 17, 2017 10:06:12 GMT -5 mpc said:

oneslybookworm , when I was trying to get DD to fall asleep without nursing her I would swaddle and walk laps around the house with her, usually with some soft music playing (music I liked, not kids music, lol. for my sanity, ya know.) The other thing was she really loved the swing so I would swaddle and stick her in there (buckled in). Her first nap in the morning was always in the swing and she's usually wake up after 30-45 minutes. I discovered that if I ignored her and stayed out of sight, she would often fall back asleep again after about 10 minutes or so.

We have discovered the swing and it's magical properties!!

E is asleep in her swing right now .  Hopefully for awhile - little girl has been a fussy butt today.  All she wants to do is try to suck her thumb, but shes still too uncoordinated to consistently get it in her mouth, plus she hasn't figured out that she needs to stick her thumb out instead of having it curled up against her fingers.

[sparkythelawyer]

Aug 15, 2017 19:30:44 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

janegold , we do plan to keep in touch with his birth mom, she's wonderful. We text frequently and check in with each other, she's like an extended family member.


What tricks did you find helpful in getting him to fall asleep?

I stumbled onto this by accident, sorry, I don't "go here."  BUT.

1) Happiest Baby on the Block Youtube.  Its about 15 minutes long, and it is lifechanging.
2) White Noise Baby App for your phone.

Both saved my exhausted new mom ass many, many times during the early days.  

And CONGRATULATIONS!  What wonderful news.