Talk to me about anxiety

[loira]

I know there are a bunch of people on some of the larger boards that have anxiety, but this is my 'safe space' so I'm putting this here. I think I'm suffering from anxiety and have been for a long time. Probably since A was born, since I suspect I had PPA. I haven't thought of it as 'anxiety' until recently because it seemed to ebb and flow, and I do tend to fret about things so I thought I was just 'feeling anxious'. More recently I've come to realise it's not going away. Every day at around 2pm I start to feel a tightening in my chest, and my heart races, and it gets worse until bedtime. I usually wake up fine.

I hoped that it was situational, because of our circumstances, and that once I had some sort of life plan locked down it would go away. I thought it would at least get better when H got here to visit because some of the caregiver pressure would be off. But it didn't get better. And now I'm wondering if it will still be there even when our living situation is settled.

I've talked to H about this and he just says "make an appointment with your doctor", but I haven't pulled the plug on that yet. I'm reluctant to go down the meds route because I think what I have can be managed without them. It's not debilitating, and it doesn't keep me from living my life, but it does affect my enjoyment of things. I did see a psychotherapist shortly after we lost V, but that was more of a 'recurring mental health checkup' to make sure I was experiencing normal grief and not depression. I never developed much of a relationship with the therapist, although she was very nice. I don't know how a therapist could help me in this situation, and in any case I'm not sure they're covered under BC healthcare.

Exercise seems to help a lot, as does taking steps toward fixing our situation (applying for jobs, doing work for my clients etc). I prefer taking action to talking about my feelings, so if anyone has any suggestions for other activities to help with anxiety, please let me know. Has anyone tried meditation?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[dellabear]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've had some episodes of anxiety and panic attacks at various points in my life and I know that awful feeling you're describing.

One thing I have found to be really great for my wellbeing lately is yoga - in a yoga class, in a nice setting with an instructor I like. Doing it at home feels good physically but going to my local studio is a whole different experience. I find I am able to focus and be present and clear my mind/ let go of all of the little things that are bothering me, at least for the duration of the class. A good instructor will coach you to be mindful and present and let go of what's happening beyond the studio. I always feel better coming out than I did going in. I think too because it is time that is 100% for me, which I don't get much of. I have been trying to go twice a week and I have noticed that it really helps with my overall wellbeing.

I would also consider visiting the doctor and talking about it. There may be some counselling available for free or maybe a support group or other resources that he or she can point you towards.

Hugs and good luck as you work through this.

[G22]

My anxiety flared up a few years ago and it got so bad I finally went to see a psychologist after putting it off way too long. I was adamant about wanting to avoid medication if I could help it. My doctor worked with me on Cognitive Brain Training/Treatment (CBT). It did and still does help me when I feel anxious. It's worth exploring if you want to try the non-med route first.

I had a panic attack on a plane once and I never ever want to do that again. I do take something for flying now, especially with Z, I cannot fall apart on a flight when I'm by myself with him. Meds are not all bad. The one I take now is actually an allergy med with anti-anxiety properties, not anything super strong.

So from my experience, if it's something that is constantly there and hanging over you, talking to a doctor can't hurt. It doesn't have to be debilitating to need help. So many hugs lady. If you ever need to vent, I'm here for you. I've been dealing with anxiety for over 10 years now.

[scm1011]

I had severe PPA, and was medicated at one week PP. I have suffered from anxiety in the past, but nothing to the extent of PPA. I was literally sobbing in the parking lot of a CVS the Friday after I had C, frantically trying to call my doctor because they couldn't find my prescription and I didn't think I could go a whole weekend without SOMETHING to help.

While anxiety isn't always as dramatic as that, I'd like to gently disagree with your statement that its not affecting your everyday life if anxiety is hitting you like clockwork on a daily basis. I can relate to that too, my anxiety, before I was medicated, always ramped up late afternoon and lasted into the night. I totally get wanting to try other methods besides medication (exercise helps me too!), but there is nothing wrong with taking meds. You do not need to sacrifice enjoyment in everyday things. I take a low dose of Celexa and it has made all the difference for me. I'd suggest you make an appointment with a doctor, even if its just to talk through you options. Hugs. Anxiety sucks.

[loira]

Thanks, guys. I'm open to taking meds, and totally agree that there is nothing wrong with them. I just wanted to avoid them if my situation didn't warrant it (which, now that I think about it, I may not be the best person to judge that).

[grover]

I felt similarly to the idea of avoiding meds because I didn't feel my issues were bad enough. I finally saw a therapist, didn't click with her. My PCP prescribed a low dose of zoloft (started at 25 mg, went up to 75) for the IF related depression and anxiety. When I got pregnant after a year of being on the meds, I weaned off of them. I am now in a stressful situation again, and have decided to go back on them (at 50 mg).

[loira]

G22, funny you mention flying because I also fly with A by myself a decent amount, and I'm a VERY nervous flyer. I've been nervous to take anything on a flight with her because my usual self-medicating remedy (2 extra strength gravol and a glass of wine) leaves me pretty zoned out. I wish I had something to take the edge off, without leaving me feeling like a zombie.

grover, I'm sorry you've found yourself in a stressful situation again, but glad you've got a solution. You, and everyone else, have given me some food for thought when it comes to meds. I think, maybe like a lot of us who suffer IF, that I feel like I've been poked and prodded so much I just don't want to put anything else in my body.

[shauni27]

I have had severe anxiety (and some depression) for a few years now. I was in denial that it was anxiety but finally, one day, I just knew I needed help and finally called my doctor. Just calling and making the appointment felt like a weight off my shoulders. When I got to my appointment and talked through it with my doctor, I cried because I was finally admitting out loud that I needed help. But I truly felt SO much better just saying it to someone who COULD help me. They started me on a low dose of medication and my life has never been the same since. I actually ENJOY things now. I am far less anxious. I admittedly take a higher dose of medication than what they started me on, but that does not mean you will need to as well.

Having a solution in place for me REALLY changed my life. I too saw a therapist but did not have a good connection with her and it did not help me as much as the meds did/do.

I strongly encourage you to just call your doctor and set up an appointment. It is sometimes really hard to do that first step, but once you are there you can talk about ideas to manage the anxiety with or without meds and I think that alone will help.

Hugs.

[thoseareradishes]

No advice loira, just hugs and hope that you can figure out something that you are comfortable with.

[oneslybookworm]

I've struggled with anxiety since law school, so 10+ years now. I've been on medication for it the entire time and it has been life changing. I also see a therapist for talk therapy and that has been great as well.

The way I look at it is my meds make me more ME. When I was having anxiety attacks and really struggling, I wasn't "me" any more. I had lost enjoyment of a lot of things in life and I was having a lot of health issues directly related to the anxiety. Going on medication helped me get back to being the person I was before all that. I still have anxiety, but it's no longer pervasive and every day

[boiler717]

I've been worried about anxiety both pre-TTC and PPA. I started Zoloft and it's been so helpful. I always screened low risk but the mess did help.

[oneslybookworm]

Aug 16, 2017 20:20:32 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

I've been worried about anxiety both pre-TTC and PPA. I started Zoloft and it's been so helpful. I always screened low risk but the mess did help.

I'm a Zoloft girl too. Amazing.

[awkwardpenguin]

I think it can be really helpful to talk to a professional just to get their opinion. It sounds like you could benefit a lot from some of the more action oriented therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but a professional can help you sort through all your options.

Hugs to you, friend.