Public vs Private Schools

[welly01]

DS will be starting school next year and DH and I are really struggling with the decision of private vs public school.  One of our main reasons is the complaints we hear from other parents about the Common Core curriculum and the constant standardized testing.  DH went to a really terrible public school and received a less than stellar education.  So he has zero faith in the public school system.  I went to a really good public school, so I know that a public education can be a great option in the right area. 

Can anyone offer their own experiences with this choice?  If your kids are currently in private school, how is it going?  Does anyone regret their choice and why (either for public or private)?  I'd just like to hear from other people that considered public vs private.  

[186momx]

I've really struggled with this and am still struggling with this choice. If it wasn't for the $$$ I would have enrolled DD in the smaller catholic elementary school for this fall. The giant reason I didn't is the $$$ as we can't afford the tuition plus the before/aftercare.

DD is going to be going to the same school she did for K and is dreading it. K was a very bad year and I'm trying very hard to look at 1st grade as a new chapter and fresh start. If 1st doesn't improve I will be doing open enrollment in February and having her go to another public school either in this district or in the larger school district that encompasses our town.

What I'm struggling with so much is DD is enrolled in the same district I did K-12 in along with my siblings and we all got a decent education, had good teachers most years, and have happy overall memories of school. I can't understand what has happened over the last decade that has changed the schools and their visions so much.

welly01, have you looked at charter schools? They are part of public school district but have no bus service and tend to be geared towards arts/stem/language/tech. This is what I may be leaning towards for DD if 1st doesn't go well.

[k3am]

We face the same struggle.


Anecdotes:
DH went to an average public school, got average grades, went to a JC, then finished up at a state school. He makes a pretty decent salary.

I went to a shitty public school, got amazing grades, went to the same state school as he did. I make what I consider "okay" money, but I know it's a decent salary. Not as decent as DH's (all in, I make about 70% of what he does. But I'm also a woman...), but I do well.

I had two analysts who worked for me. They both grew up in the same small town, one went to public school, the other took 3 hours of buses to get to a prestigious private school here (to the point that people stick the name on their resume long after they have a college degree). Public school boy's title is now VP, private school guy hasn't even made AVP yet.

Despite this, I struggle with the notion of sending my kids to the public schools we're zoned for. I would readily send them if we would be in better schools.

[2chatter]

We did private when our local public schools were poor performing. We moved to switch to excellent public schools (high grad rates, high college placement rates, high test scores, high reviews, extensive variety of extracurriculars through school, involved parents, desired district for teachers). We put the tuition money into the mortgage and doubled the size of our home.

I was dubious at first because the curriculum was less challenging than private school. But now that DD is in 8th grade the curriculum is scaleable - she's well served with high school classes and honors offerings; other students not on this track receive an excellent education as well.

We had little to no community at private school as students were spread out an hour around the school. We enjoy the community in public very much. If anyone moves for schools , I underestimated how much the kids walking K-8 improved our quality of life. The carpool drop off is crazy.

Edited because I got work and this post confused for a second.

[waverly]

We both went to average to good public schools and had no issues. For the most part we did not seriously consider private schools. The ones in our area are Catholic, and we are not. Or Montessori that only goes to the 8th grade then they have to transition anyway.

Our daycare was private though obviously, and when they get into the pre-k and K grades that does show. For example the high cost and no additional services.

DS is special needs, and through the public school he gets free speech and audiology tests, he qualified for an FM system, and has a hearing itinerant teacher. He has an IEP. While I do think there has been some progress with private schools in the special needs area, and the public district can also support them but perhaps not to the same extent as if the student were onsite.

I've seen all sorts of models and families doing different things, and I think it boils down to what is best for your child. I've seen some start at Catholic and then run into a terrible 4th grade teacher and switch. I have seen some go Catholic all the way through, and some where the kids decided to switch to public in high school. I've seen some terrible public schools and some terrible private schools.

So I don't evaluate public versus private as that is such a high level. I evaluate this particular school for that one. Talk to parents, talks to administrators, get a tour. Then I evaluate my child and what would be best for him. Probably we should have moved him a year earlier to special needs pre-school. I wasn't sure if he was eligible and there wasn't a clear cut option for wrap around care, maybe at same daycare.

However, he is doing fabulous testing in 99th percentiles. And just so you know, many private schools have also changed their curriculum to maybe not match common core, but it is still a lot harder at a younger age. K is still going to be like our first grade.

I haven't gotten into common core (ish) math yet which is where I heard most complaints. It was still pretty simple in K. Testing went fine this year. Teachers are more than willing to review curriculum with you, and you can also research it online- i mean there are some good websites to explain some of the common core issues.  

ETA- We moved to the burbs with a good public school district.  If we had gotten our first house, it would have been in the city and bad schools, so private all the way.  If we had gotten our second house, they had a good elementary and HS, but middle school was iffy.  Luckily we got our third choice house because for raising kids it has been the best and cheapest way to go with the best house and neighborhood.  We just miss out on the city life, but we can always visit.  

[mustardseed2007]

We're in a good school district. It's the same district I grew up in and my niece just graduated from there. The testing has intensified, but the district seems to be managing it well. Common Core is different from what I learned but that's not always a negative.

The thing I struggle with, even with an academically superior public school, is the size. Classes are really large (not as large as some schools, though). My kid is super shy and small, so I worry about his getting swallowed up.

Also, parents are intense and it rubs off on their kids. They care a lot about their kid's grades and their social status. Intense parents will probably also be found in many private schools, but the private schools I've looked at focus on developing the whole child in smaller classes and encouraging a love of learning. If I did private, I'd look at a school that have that kind of focus and culture.

However, private school is expensive and I am afraid to start down the path of something pricey, only to have a job loss or something else that suddenly means I can't afford it and have to throw them into a public school. For that reason, we've decided we'll be giving public school a shot and if it doesn't work out will go over to some private school.

[traveltheworld]

Both DH and I went to good public schools, ended up in good colleges, and now have good careers. Having said that, most of the people I work with went to prestigious private schools. I think the level of education they received was same as us, but they made better connections which has helped tremendously career-wise.

We just bought a house in one of the best school districts here with a view that our kids will go to the neighbourhood public school. I might move them to private school after elementary for the connections, but am otherwise quite content with our choice.

I think it really depends on what the public school is like in your area. Do they do open houses? You can generally get a good feel for the school and its teaching philosophy by talking to the teachers and parents.

[mustardseed2007]

The connections kids and parents develop at some of the more prestigious private schools in this town are amazing. But I can't afford any of the schools that offer those benefits, so that's a moot point for me.

[jlaok]

Background: DH - small town public school. Me = Private/Catholic school through high school.

DH and I faced the same struggle. Although we purposely moved to a great public school district we ended up being in the financial position to send both our kids to the local Catholic school.

The deciding factors we used to choose private vs public were:
~ Catholic focused education (we are practicing Catholics)
~ Familiarity with how the diocese operates because I went to school within the same diocese
~ We can comfortably pay the tuition without feeling strained
~ Smaller school/smaller class size
~ No threat of specialty programs getting cut (this is something that many of our state's school are facing because of budget shortfalls)

DH and I are happy with our choice to send our kids to Catholic school but I think it's a very personal decision. What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another family. We have many friends that send their kids to the various public school districts around us and equally love it. I don't think there is a right or wrong choice.

edit:  For some perspective of cost:  In my area Catholic tuition is about half the monthly cost of daycare

[welly01]

Aug 15, 2017 13:33:09 GMT -5 186momx said:

I've really struggled with this and am still struggling with this choice. If it wasn't for the $$$ I would have enrolled DD in the smaller catholic elementary school for this fall. The giant reason I didn't is the $$$ as we can't afford the tuition plus the before/aftercare.

DD is going to be going to the same school she did for K and is dreading it. K was a very bad year and I'm trying very hard to look at 1st grade as a new chapter and fresh start. If 1st doesn't improve I will be doing open enrollment in February and having her go to another public school either in this district or in the larger school district that encompasses our town.

What I'm struggling with so much is DD is enrolled in the same district I did K-12 in along with my siblings and we all got a decent education, had good teachers most years, and have happy overall memories of school. I can't understand what has happened over the last decade that has changed the schools and their visions so much.

welly01 , have you looked at charter schools? They are part of public school district but have no bus service and tend to be geared towards arts/stem/language/tech. This is what I may be leaning towards for DD if 1st doesn't go well.

We have found a charter school that I think we are eligible to attend. I haven't started doing school visits yet but it is definitely on the list. A huge selling point is that our current daycare does bus transport to and from the charter school but not the public school the we are zoned to (our daycare is out of district for us). I haven't actually talked to the charter school but it seems like they still have to meet all the standardized testing requirements, which is what started us looking into private school.

 I'm sorry your DD is having a negative experience in public school.

[welly01]

Aug 15, 2017 13:53:29 GMT -5 2chatter said:

We did private when our local public schools were poor performing. We moved to switch to excellent public schools (high grad rates, high college placement rates, high test scores, high reviews, extensive variety of extracurriculars through school, involved parents, desired district for teachers). We put the tuition money into the mortgage and doubled the size of our home.

I was dubious at first because the curriculum was less challenging than private school. But now that DD is in 8th grade the curriculum is scaleable - she's well served with high school classes and honors offerings; other students not on this track receive an excellent education as well.

We had little to no community at private school as students were spread out an hour around the school. We enjoy the community in public very much. If anyone moves for schools , I underestimated how much the kids walking K-8 improved our quality of life. The carpool drop off is crazy.

Edited because I got work and this post confused for a second.

This is a good point about community. DH and I are both working parents with no family within an hour's drive, so having drop-off/pick-up help would definitely be convenient.

[welly01]

Aug 15, 2017 14:06:12 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

We're in a good school district. It's the same district I grew up in and my niece just graduated from there. The testing has intensified, but the district seems to be managing it well. Common Core is different from what I learned but that's not always a negative.

The thing I struggle with, even with an academically superior public school, is the size. Classes are really large (not as large as some schools, though). My kid is super shy and small, so I worry about his getting swallowed up.

Also, parents are intense and it rubs off on their kids. They care a lot about their kid's grades and their social status. Intense parents will probably also be found in many private schools, but the private schools I've looked at focus on developing the whole child in smaller classes and encouraging a love of learning. If I did private, I'd look at a school that have that kind of focus and culture.

However, private school is expensive and I am afraid to start down the path of something pricey, only to have a job loss or something else that suddenly means I can't afford it and have to throw them into a public school. For that reason, we've decided we'll be giving public school a shot and if it doesn't work out will go over to some private school.

That is a good point about the possibility of a lay off. That would be a terrible burden to be stuck with tuition expenses or the unpleasant option of pulling your kids from school.

[akafred]

This may be a novel.

My DD is a square peg. She is very bright, but has learning and attention issues, as well as behavioral issues. Not that she is a "bad kid", but she is not a "sit down and be quiet" sort of kid. I honestly cannot see her succeeding in a traditional mainstream public school. Also she is bright so I have always feared either she would be bored in a slowed down setting or she would be denied accommodations and services because she is not "failing"...even if she isn't living up to her full potential. And on the behavior side, I can just see her being the kid who eats the pop tart in the shape of a gun and get expelled because of some zero tolerance policy like you hear about every so often on the national news.

We live inside the city limits, and generally speaking where I have lived the cities have worse schools than the suburbs. I know there are a variety of reasons for that and I am not assigning blame. But we live in the city and I actually work in a county with "good" public schools...but the cost of a house is 50% more than the city because of the schools. I could move closer to work, but then I could not afford private school. And I don't think changing the district will make it a fit for DD. If I had a typical child that is what I would do.

In our case we applied for magnet school lotteries each year. When DD was going to K, she got into our third choice. We enrolled her and were 2 weeks out from the start of the school year when something kind of traumatic happened and it became clear to DH and me that we could not send her to that school at that time. So we were left with the option of redshirting (DD is small and a bit immature, but was academically very ahead at the time) or continuing her in private Montessori for her K year, which is what we did. When we needed to make decisions for the following year (enroll in K in public, enroll in a new Montessori for first grade), we visited EVERY private school in the area and found *the one*, which was on the complete other side of town from our home. The commute was hell. We managed for 2 years and just moved over the summer to be close to her school. The public schools near our new house are not the best but are def better than our old neighborhood, so in an emergency we could make that happen.

Anyway, our decision to choose private school is probably 75% because of DD and 15% because of preferences for private school in general and the remaining 10% is because this is the best possible environment for DD.

[rere]

We did private for elementary for several reasons.

1.  It was a Catholic school and we are Catholics

2.  It was a small school.  We know most of the kids and parents who are there so having friends and sleepovers was never a worry.

3.  It was the school in our community so much of the social activity goes along with the school

4. Class sizes were small.

However, we have a really good public school system.  So for high school, we are opting to go public.

1.  We feel public has better opportunities as far a selection of classes, branching out and exploring subjects that may interest one in a career.

2. It has more extracurricular activities that DS was interested in doing.

3.  We felt that by going to a small school for 12 years, they would be too sheltered and isolated.  The world would be a weird place when you have been with the same smallish group.

4.  You would have the opportunity to meet new people and connections.   This school has a very diverse socioeconomic make up, but a good bit of those with connections to jobs and resources do public schools here.

[saraml13]

DH and I are Catholic and went to Catholic schools K-12. We both really struggled socially at the Catholic K-8 schools we went to. We were both smart, dorky, kind of funny looking kids. I don't think it would have been amazing for us at public school either, but the small size of our Catholic schools made it hard to find our niche. I appreciate the Catholic education / experience part of it more than DH does. We both got solid educations and had no problem testing into honors and AP classes at the highly selective Catholic high school we both went to. We LOVED our Catholic high school. It was big enough to find our people, but not so big we felt lost. It was a highly selective school that's considered one of the top high schools in the state, so suddenly it was not just ok but cool to be one of the smart kids. It has a great network in our area and DH and I both got into top colleges (Ivy League and Ivy League-equivalent tech).

For our own kids, we are probably going to do public grade school. We live in an excellent school district and pay crazy taxes, so it seems silly not to send them to the public school. Also, the local Catholic grade school, although excellent, doesn't have any playground or outdoor green space. The kids take recess in the parking lot. Whereas our public school has a large playground and outdoor area. Especially for the younger kids, I do think that quality outdoor time is important. There are some complications. The public school only has half day (9:00-11:30) K, so we will probably do private school for kindergarten, then switch for first grade.

For high school, we live close to the Catholic high school that DH and I went to and loved. We will strongly encourage our kids to go there, but won't force them to go to there if they really want to go to the public high school. The public high school, which is combined with another town, is not quite as good as the public grade schools. It's also very big, so I worry about kids getting (figuratively) lost.


More generally, I think complaints about Common Core are overblown. Some people get all worked up who don't really understand the changes, they just know it is different than how they learned things. I have an engineering degree, and the common core math examples I've looked at actually do make sense if you take the time to understand them. In many cases, they reflect the mental math tricks I learned through experience but was never formally taught. I also think complaints about testing are overblown (although this comes from someone who always was a good test taker). Even in Catholic schools, I remember taking standardized tests yearly or almost yearly. There was also a fair amount of test preparation for high school entrance exams in junior high and then for SAT/ACT in high school. So I wouldn't necessarily go to private schools out of a vague concern about Common Core and testing unless you have specific concerns about your child's learning style.

[mommyatty]

We chose private. I'm in an area with supposedly great public schools. I attended in the same district where we live now until junior high, when my parents got fed up and put me in Catholic school. DH attended in the same district and hated it so much, he dropped out and got a GED, went to junior college, and then transferred to a very good public university.

For me, there were a number of compelling factors:
-the schools in our area may as well be run by the Southern Baptist convention. All athletes are expected to be part of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, there's a lot of social emphasis on what church you attend, and the curriculum is very faith-based. Like evolution isn't taught. We are a secular family, and we really don't want our kids brainwashed.
-my BFF was a public school teacher until last year. When she described how much time they spend drilling for standardized tests (at least weekly), I was horrified.
-high schools here are huge. Like larger than many colleges. Kids get lost all the time. My brother and husband were both lost.

We considered moving to a better school district. Though the schools our kids were slated to attend are 8s and 10s on Great Schools, so what do I know? If we lived in a state with better public schools, I would be more inclined to send my kids there.

Overall, we love the community at our private school. The graduating classes are around 80 kids, and we've really gotten to know and like the other parents. I don't get the feeling that's the case with the public schools in our district, especially for working moms. My MIL took the kids to Chick Fil A yesterday and ran into DD's preschool teacher, who came over to tell DD how cute her haircut looks. Teacher has a DD in my DD's class, so the girls got to play. Then another mom ran in and came by to chat about DS's potty training woes and to tell MIL that her daughter (who will be in DS's preschool class) has also decided not to be potty trained anymore. I'm working at the uniform resale shop on Saturday at the Back to School picnic. It's just overall a really happy, friendly, chatty group.

[mae0111]

I went to public until 8th grade, and then went to an amazing private high school. I participated in everything, I was really challenged academically (which never happened in public school, despite being in all honors classes), and I made wonderful friends.

DH went to public school, was not challenged academically, participated in a few things, and hated every minute of it. But it was a really good school district.

We enrolled DD1 in a small private Catholic school for pre-K, and she had an amazing first year. Then she entered her second year, and it was a complete mess. The kids were awful - threatening to kill her and each other, bullying her physically and emotionally. She was getting pushed down and hit by older kids on the school playground. The teachers did nothing. Administration did nothing. We pulled her out. She's in public school, but I don't like it. We do a lot of outside activities and I spend a good amount of time working with her on outside academics.

I'm very worried about my kids going to the public high school. DD1 will never be able to do a sport there. You can't even try out for freshman soccer - the team is determined before the school year begins. Same thing with basketball - the team is predetermined based on extracurricular teams. I was able to play sports every season, even though I wasn't the best athlete. But the $40K/year price tag for my alma mater is a bit tough to take, and there's not much in between.

So we'll continue to struggle with it until the time comes, I suppose...

[sandandsea]

We moved into an excellent school district before ds started K so we can go to public schools. I went to mediocre/small country bumpkin public schools and have always been driven and went to a big 10 college. I work with people who went to prestigious prep high schools and boarding schools. So basically I don't think it really matters as long as the school is safe, child is driven, and parents are involved.

[erinshelley21]

I went to public and dh did private k-8. We will be going the private school route for k-8. DH and his entire family have gone there. That's really the only reason. I don't have too strong of feelings one way or the other because our public school system has improved drastically compared to even 10 years ago when dh and I went to the high school.

The private school has a great community feel. Parents are very involved and they hold a ton of fundraisers and special days with activities.

My only concern about private school, at least for us, is the social aspect and if we ever deal with our kids having special needs. I've seen a few kids go through the school that were very shy and socially awkward from it being such a small, close knit group. My niece that attends the school very obviously has ADHD. Due to their only being 10 kids in a class, it's not a big deal for the teachers but if she were at the public school, her mom is confident she would have already been tested and put on medication. SIL just can't get hee ex to agree to testing but that's another topic.

Public and private both have their pros and cons IMO. I prefer public but that's mostly for financial reasons. The tuition for one kid at our private school is only $2500/year, which I feel like is pretty cheap.

[sunbutter]

In your specific situation, I would recommend visiting as many schools as possible in your area and try to meet families that attend those schools.  Then fold what you learn into what would help your specific child thrive and your finances.

Our story:

I went public all the way, in a rural area, pretty decent school.  I probably could have been challenged more but I don't know if I would have taken advantage of it.  Then state school for college, then on to grad school for my PhD.  I was a first generation high school and college graduate.  I am doing well.
DH went to an exclusive private Jesuit school and received an exception education.  His entire family is beyond educated.  He is also doing well.

We live in the city of Philadelphia.  Overall, the public school system is really really struggling.  Our neighborhood elementary school is just a couple blocks away and is one of the better ones.  They have a 1/2 day kindergarten which would have been tough for us to deal with.  My impression is that the teachers are good but they don't have specials like music, art, PE, etc.. There is no green space and no play structures.  Just a big concrete slab.  The community is lower to middle class, mostly blue collar.  I am totally fine with that.  What I don't like is the behavior of many of the children (language, violence, attitude, cruelty, racism) that I am sure is being learned at home.  And the school is overwhelmed and can't curb and correct all of that.  So I knew that if my kids attended that school, they would be exposed and influenced to things like that at a young age.

I know that public schools benefit from involved and dedicated parents and before I had a kid that was school aged, I was public all the way.  However, when the time came, bottom line, I didn't have the time to commit to "making it better" and frankly, didn't want my kid to be the martyr.  And I am remarkably privileged enough to have options (and so so grateful).

When kindergarten came around for DS, we knew we weren't ready to move.  (Side note - I did enter our local charter lottery - there were 30 slots and 1000+ entries.) So we looked around and I was attracted to the Friends schools in the area.  In addition to having very well rounded, play based but challenging curriculum, they are grounded on the Quaker principles. As an ex-Baptist agnostic who sometimes feels guilty about not giving her kids a church community, this was appealing to me.  At the heart of the teachings are tolerance, equality, integrity and a true true respect for learning, exploring and inquiring.  So I saw it as an option to give my kids a solid start in the standard math, reading, spelling, etc.. but then to give them a little bit of spirituality as well.  The school does a good job at churning out thoughtful, kind, smart kids, ready to move on to all kinds of middle and high schools.  We chose a small school compared to the other nearby Friends schools.  So far, it has been the right choice for our family.  DS in particular (going into 4th grade) is absolutely thriving.

The school only goes to 6th grade.  We could stay in the city and continue to pay for private school - we would be looking at 40K/kid/year.   I just can't wrap my head around that.  We are planning to move to be closer to DH's job anyway and it happens that the school district in that direction is ranked at the top in the country.  My heart gets little pangs at the thought of not giving them a Friends education all the way through but honestly, there are things about the community that are starting to rub me the wrong way.  Don't get me wrong, I have made life-long friends with the families at the school but there can also be a lot of drama and intensity that is tiring. Ironically, while we are all about diversity, there is very little political and socioeconomic diversity in our school and there would be even less if we were to stay at a Friends' school as we move up in grades.  Not saying that a wealthy Philly suburb is going to have a lot of diversity but in a way, it will be a different environment to what my kids are experiencing now, which I think will be good for them in some ways.

The cliff notes version of the above (which I could expand on for hours) is that we chose to give the kids a private Quaker education in elementary to help build the foundation of his/her character and then we will move to a good school district and enroll them in public school starting in 6th grade.

[librarychica]

I am a "try public first" person but my kid started just private kindergarten so what do I know? She's there because that's where she went to preschool, it's a pk3-K Montessori room, H really wanted her to have the full 3 year cycle and we've been happy with the teacher. Next year she will start public. We are zoned for one of the better schools in our giant county so I think it will be fine. I'm not willing to move counties to get to "the best" schools. At some point it is a diminishing returns thing.

Reasons I, personally, would consider private: if there were safety or real quality issues at the public school we were zoned for, if I was so inclined to prioritize the connections the very expensive private schools offer (I am not. I can fund college or that.) or if my child had different needs than the average student.

Also things can change. What suits your child now may not suit them later, so I try to stay mentally flexible when thinking about schooling.

[covergirl82]

I went to a bad public school (although elementary school was fine), and I begged my parents to move or let me go to a different high school, but they didn't. The worst part was gangs and violence. I also had teachers who made the classes easy enough so that kids would pass so they would graduate. (I actually had one teacher tell the class that she made the curriculum so that all kids would pass.) I vowed I would NEVER make my kids go to a school like that.

When DH and I got engaged and were deciding where to live, I told him that I wanted to live in a school district where the public schools were great. So we actually moved to his hometown (which is a suburb of the metro area we were already in). We love the elementary school the kids are in now. I do worry about drugs in middle and high school, because it's an upper-middle income area, so kids have access to more money for drugs.

We didn't consider private school (at this time) because it costs $$$ and our public school district is great. If that were to change, we may consider the private Christian school or a charter school. But tuition money for private school would take away from college savings, so then we would probably lean toward a charter school.

[kimberlybb]

My kids aren’t in school yet but I would only consider private school if we didn’t have a good public alternative. Mostly it comes down to cost. We plan to pay for college for both kids. We can’t afford college savings, private school tuition, and aftercare unless we have a serious lifestyle change. Also, I would be concerned if either kid has learning or behavior issues because the private schools in our area aren’t as equipped to deal with that and lack the resources that our public schools have.

[mellym]

DH and I are both public school kids so we've never seriously considered private. We have a really good school district and our elementary school is the "best" in the city. I don't know why but that's what everyone tells me and it's always full from open enrollment from other schools. We thought about it this summer since DD1 is going into K but it just didn't make sense for us to go private. She has an IEP and needs speech which is provided at the public school. I don't know how we would logistically get her to and from the private school either. Our public school offers the bus and before/after care. She did great at public 4K so we don't see the need to make a change.

[sdlaura]

From a pure financial perspective we looked at the numbers for private schools - they are pricey here - so say $20k per year for 3 kids x 12 years = we're looking at $700k+. So we paid more for a house to live in a great public school district. We would consider it though for the 'square peg' issue that akafred described.

DH and I both went to ok public schools, him to state college and me to private college, and then he earned an Ivy League MBA. We've done fine with our public school educations.

[kbw]

We were debating private for DS for kindergarten and opted against it. For one we would be stressed paying for tuition plus all of the breaks/after school.

H felt very strongly that he wanted DS in public schools for access to any services he may need(h had issues with reading and speech). The private schools don't have their own professionals on staff so they end up not having access to these services as readily.

Also I would have to transport DS to and from school. The school was close to my work but 45 minutes from home. If I wanted a day off or had appointments I didn't want to have to drive back and forth multiple times a day for that far.

[freezorburn]

We just went through selecting schools this last year ... visited several privates as well as the handful of public schools near us. At the end of the day we only applied to one private school and didn't get in, but we are comfortable enough with what we have heard about the public school where DS was placed. I'm actually a bit relieved about not having to pay private tuition. I feel like my property taxes are sufficiently high enough that DS should be getting a decent education. And, that should be the case. When we bought our house over a decade ago, we had schools in mind -- either to bolster resale value or for the purpose of actually sending a child to school.

We live in an area where there has been a fair amount of backlash against standardized testing and common core, as well as homework at lower grade levels. So who knows what the picture will be when it's time to get serious about academics. But we're not terribly worried about academics. DS has an IEP for his autism spectrum disorder, and his school is as well equipped as a public school can be for what he needs. It's been an interesting year so far, as there was some nail-biting drama over whether or not the state legislature would fully fund the district's school budget. But I think it should work out.