Mangomama or anyone else - OTS related.

[piper84]

Hi all,

I'm new to the board and posted a few weeks ago about Air Force OTS. My husband and I had our first child 9 weeks ago and my husband left for OTS this past Monday. It's only been 4 days and I feel super depressed. I feel like I have anxiety, I've completely lost my appetite, and I find myself randomly crying throughout the day. I feel like having a 2-month old definitely adds an added layer to it all. I've tried surrounding myself with friends and family but when I'm home alone at night, I just feel so, so sad. I'm sure the post-partum hormones are not helping!

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm not sure if I'm going through a form of post-partum depression combined with my husband's departure, or if it's strictly just my husband's departure. I never felt like it would be this hard. I just feel totally panicked and I lose my breath when I think about not being with him until December.

Thanks for any insight or advice you could give me. I feel like OTS is a good trial for us (since he's not actually in the AF yet). I don't want my anxiety or depression or whatever it is to be the factor my husband doesn't pursue his dream job! Besides the time spent apart, we are both really looking forward to this next chapter in our lives. I just wonder if I'm setting up myself for a lifetime of tears

Thank you!

[nsl]

The first days of any separation are always the worst. Once you get into a routine you should start to feel better. If you don't within the next few days, though, please talk to your doctor.

[beans]

you could always call MilOneSource to help set up some counseling sessions (or use whatever other access you have to therapy). I don't know much about postpartum but talking to your dr about that could be good, too.

Other than that, try to just take it in small increments. Thinking about not seeing him until december is very overwhelming. Try just getting through today, or this week, or this hour. Not focusing on how much it sucks to be apart helps. Staying busy helps. Planning helps. Also, find some sort of coping skills to help decrease your anxiety when you're feeling that (Like deep breathing, focusing on something else, knitting, reading, etc). If you know when it is hardest (i.e. the night) come up with plans to occupy your mind so you're not dwelling.

hang out here!

[piper84]

Thanks for the replies!

nsl, I'm going to see how this weekend goes and will probably call my doctor on Monday. You can never be too safe, right?

beans, thanks so much for the advice. I will probably hang out on this board... although I'm not quite a military family yet (until husband's graduation). Is that cheating?

[erin2903]

Separations are hard but the fact that you are only 9 weeks post partum is really what stands out to me. Those first months of taking care of a newborn are hard and being without your spouse would really add to that stress.

Like Beans suggested, I would call military one source and speak to someone about it. Or talk to your dr about seeing someone.

You are welcome on this board anytime. Hang in there!

[ilovelamp]

You will get through this. Talk to someone and take whatever help you need. Whether it's help with the baby so you can have some alone time, or just someone to vent to. Hugs.

[beans]

Sept 14, 2012 21:19:58 GMT -5 @piper84 said:

Thanks for the replies!

nsl, I'm going to see how this weekend goes and will probably call my doctor on Monday. You can never be too safe, right?

beans, thanks so much for the advice. I will probably hang out on this board... although I'm not quite a military family yet (until husband's graduation). Is that cheating?

meh. we have totally non-affiliated people hanging around so you're cool

[Deleted]

Take it in bit-sized chunks. For a few days it might be one meal at a time (just make it till lunch, just make it till dinner), or one feeding at a time. Then one day at a time, one week at a time. I agree that routine will help, as will keeping yourself busy (and it sounds like the two-month old will help with that!).

It's also a good idea to have someone to "check in" with at least once a day. Maybe a sibling, parent, or close family member -- someone who knows you well, and can tell you if you're not acting like yourself. It can be hard to recognize depression in yourself, and sometimes those who are close to us can give us some perspective.

And of course, if you feel any of the signs of depression (feel like you don't want to get out of bed, lose interest in taking care of yourself or the kiddo) then you should DEFINITELY call someone.

[booyah]

Hun, this is PPD. I went through the same thing after my first baby. I can't imagine doing it without my husband there. (He left for a year, but it wasn't until my baby was 8 months old, and it still sucked.) I'm so glad you are going to see your doctor Monday, but also try and do whatever else you can to keep yourself out of the blues. It really sucks. I remember crying for no reason whatsoever. I've always been a strong and independent woman and it was so foreign to feel that way. Keep in mind that OTS will be over soon and the military is a great way of life after that. You won't always feel this way when he leaves. Right now both my husband and I are active duty, I'm 8 months prego with our third, and life is great. No more crying when he leaves, when I leave, etc. It really is the hormones, and you can make it through. Hugs, and I hope your doctor has more tips.